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A Girlfriend in Need…Is a Girlfriend Indeed

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

posted by james

"There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments." 
-Chris Rock

If you want to show true love, sometimes it pays to be needy.

Not in the high-maintenance, I’ll-kill-myself-if-you-leave-me kind of way.  I’m talking about making your girlfriend feel like she completes you, that she’s everything you’ve always been looking for.  I’m talking about giving a girl the knowledge that she’s special, incredible, Numero Uno in your life.  Sometimes, the greatest gift you can give your lover is to tell her you NEED her.

I learned this the hard way with my girlfriend.  I bought her lots of presents, surprised her with nice gifts.  But it wasn’t enough; she told me she wasn’t sure I really loved her.  So I took her out to eat, wrote her nice poems and cards.  She appreciated that, but was still not sure she meant everything in my life.  Presents and nice meals were nice, but what she wanted more than anything was to feel appreciated, to feel wanted, to feel NEEDED.  You can’t put a price tag on that sort of feeling, but I can tell you it’s worth more than any expensive gift. 

More than anything, my girlfriend wanted to hear the words, "I need you."

Of course, it’s not always easy to say those words.  We fear that we’ll appear too needy, too emotional.  You’ll know based on your girlfriend just how much she needs to be needed; for some girls, their "love language" isn’t so much words of appreciation as gifts or acts or service. 

But EVERY girl likes to be appreciated.  It’s like Chris Rock says: "There are only three things women need in life: food, money, and COMPLIMENTS!"  So sometimes you just have to compliment your girl and let her know that you appreciate her.  You can say, "I don’t know what I’d do without you," "I’m so glad you came into my life", and just explain how different your life would be without her.  It may sound like gushy romantic stuff–and sometimes it is–but believe me, you’ll be amazed by the difference in your girlfriend when she feels valued.

Ever notice how your girl (or wife) acts moody for no reason, snappy for who knows why?  A lot of times it’s because she doesn’t feel appreciated.  She feels like she could leave your life, and you wouldn’t even notice.  So she acts bitchy and moody, and you can’t stand it. 

But when you let her know you NEED her, let her know you WANT her in your life, you’ll be amazed by how much happier and giving she is.  As I always say, you get what you give.  If you’re not giving her the love and attention she needs, you’re not going to get it in return. 

Guys who keep their girls feeling loved, who let them know that they are the most important thing in their lives, don’t have as many problems with their women.  They have girls buying them things, doing them favors, showing them love like never before.  It’s great, and proves one thing:

It’s good to be needy.

9 Comments

8

Comment by josh

July 28, 2006 @ 2:29 pm

thanks James this is good advice. my girlfriend does complain to me that I don’t tell her enough that I need her. so I tried your advice and already she has been acting a lot nicer to me. seems happier and funner knowing that I care about her.

anyway, awesome advice, keep it up!

19

Comment by dundas

July 31, 2006 @ 9:01 am

chris rock is awesome.

26

Comment by Alex

July 31, 2006 @ 9:47 am

This is good, but at the same time I had a girlfriend who I treated like a queen and she hated it. i think some girls love being treated like they’re everything, like your girlfriend, but others don’t want it. There should be a manual with each of them to tell whether they need lots of love or no love at all! I hate how girls say they’re not loved enough, but then when you give them love and sensitivity they think youre a wuss and go for a guy who treats them like crap.

32

Comment by Mikey!

July 31, 2006 @ 11:44 am

Being needy is awesome! What’s wrong with letting a girl know you need her? Well, I guess when I woke her up at 3 in the morning to sing a love seranade, that didn’t do much, ha ha, but yeah, I agree with James, girls need to know you value them. You just have to figure out the right way to do that I guess, eh james?

41

Comment by Joaquin

August 3, 2006 @ 2:12 pm

good stuff James. never quite looked at it like that before. I also enjoyed your stuff in the e-book, it’s really helpful for what to say and do in a relationship. keep it up buddy.

50

Comment by Calisto

August 4, 2006 @ 2:21 pm

Chris Rock is the MAN. I’m a fan of any writer who appreciates his humor!

78

Comment by Funquin

August 24, 2006 @ 6:58 pm

I guess I agree. You’re right that you shouldn’t show too much need, though. The last time I told a girl I needed her, I lost her soon after. So you have to be careful in how you say it; don’t want to seem too high maintenance.

But i guess when you’re with a girl who loves you, there’s no better way to say ‘i love you’ in return. thanks for the thought stimulation, James. Keep it up.

98

Comment by Zanzabar

September 1, 2006 @ 2:53 pm

awesome stuff, awesome stuff. now if only i can get a girlfriend! but thanks to you i have gotten plenty of girls anyway ;). thanks to you james.

102

Comment by alex

September 1, 2006 @ 11:29 pm

Hey James, my girlfriend was telling me she needed to feel cheerful and NEEDED after seeing a skinny poster model ad at the bustop the other day. She really appreciated me telling her ‘i wouldnt know what i’d do without her’ and ‘you are the only one i ever want in my life’. Let the good times roll!

Thank-you

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