Are you wondering whether you should stick with a relationship? Are you tired of crying over men? Are you having a hard time finding a guy due to a particular circumstance, such as being divorced, a single parent, or being over 50? To find the solution, visit How to Be Irresistible to Men and discover the answers to your problem and other common dating and relationship concerns. Get the answers here!
Like most women, I always thought that becoming more attractive to men was about improving my appearance. As a teenager I was desperate to lose weight, get the perfect haircut, and wear the styles in the latest magazines. I wanted boys to pay attention to me, and I knew that the girls to whom they DID pay attention had obvious physical assets. It wasn't about being smart or interesting or nice: it was about looks.
What I didn't know then is that most boys grow up. The hormone-driven stage of youth, made anxious by popularity and social validation, creates entirely different creatures than the mature workplace of later years.
Luckily for women, most men seek entirely different characteristics than boys. They learn to appreciate emotional warmth, depth, and generous loving. Although they still turn their heads to watch beautiful women pass, they're mature enough to appreciate a beautiful form without having to possess it.
Not all men grow up, of course. 😉 We all know playboys at the age of 40 who haven't yet learned the pleasure of settling down with one woman. Those men still tend to be attracted to looks, seeking out what is new, different, and unobtainable.
Yet instead of realizing that immature men are the exception, not the rule, many of us women remain stuck in the high school mentality, believing that ALL men—not just the immature ones—seek nothing more than a pretty face. We believe that we must dress sexy, look sexy, and act sexy for men to feel attracted to us. And when our bodies rebel (as not all of us were made to look like models) we bury our heads in despair. We think that we'll never be able to attract men.
Guess what? The good news is that although you may be unable to attract immature men (who are focused on superficial appearances above all things) you may be just what a mature man is looking for.
Mature men seek women who are fun to be with, around whom they feel they can be themselves. The mature man realizes that if he is going to spend the rest of his life with a woman, he needs to have more discerning criteria than good looks. A woman who is in touch with her body, even though it isn't perfect, is preferable to a woman who goes into hysterics if her hair or clothes aren't perfect. A woman who is uninhibited, passionate, and loves life is preferable to an aloof, cool woman who lives life on display.
For the man who looks beneath the surface, a woman is an entire package: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. He must fall in love with all of those parts before he'll invite her to spend a lifetime with him. What this means for us is that developing ourselves mentally, spiritually, and emotionally is just as important as perfecting our appearance. What we look like is just a quarter of the entire package.
Best of all, if you start focusing on developing yourself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, you'll find that you reap enormous personal benefits. Your life will be happier. You'll feel more content. You may even find that male attention seems less important to you.
So the next time that you feel overlooked because of your appearance, or you're having an "ugly" day, just put on your most beautiful smile and realize that the only men who'll be ignoring you are the ones you don't want anyway.
Comment by Ilona
April 12, 2006 @ 4:20 am
This is awesome. EVERY woman should read this…at least every woman who’s not a supermodel. I’m in a relationship with a guy who’s sometimes not sure if he’s attracted enough to me, but he says he loves everything else about me…it’s been driving me crazy (not to mention broken hearted). I’m still learning the concepts of this article, but it sure helps clarify a lot in my head!!
Ilona
Comment by Tamia
April 12, 2006 @ 7:08 pm
Hi Amy! My name is Tamia, and i live in Botswana, Africa. I’ve been reading all your articles and i don’t usually do this, but i had to write in and say, ITS AMAZING, YOU’RE AMAZING!!! It all began with reading about how dating is not just for beautiful people, and then the one about attraction. My whole life, self image is what ive struggled with!! i’m 20 now, and for the past 7 years, my excuse for being dateless was always about my body. thank you for touching me with your intelligence and depth. i just can’t believe its taken me so long to realise that the answer is within me and how i relate to people! its been especially hard because im a big gal. although typical African men like their women with a little extra, increasingly the more slender frame is taking over, meaning i can’t get guys my age to look at me and only the older, more traditional ones will! a big woman is often seen as a sign of wealth and beauty, so its more like “you’re so voluptous and motherly, i want to make you my wife”. im sure you can imagine what a turn off that is! so i blamed it on my body, and the models in Cosmopolitan. but your articles (did i mention they were amazing???) have shown me, and all the rest of us, that the typical woman is average, the typical man is average, and if i can work on the vibes i send, and my social arrangements, there’s bound to be someone i click with. I deserve to be treated nicely, whatever my size beacuse i have alot to offer as a person! A toast to Amy and her ingenius confidence-boosting logic!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by christina
April 18, 2006 @ 4:33 am
I am so glad that you speak about the neccessity to develop the other essentail elements of our being; emotions, spirituality, attitude. These days it is so common to be focused on perfecting the imperfectable. Also, it is true that while making out being more attractive, which attracts me, we learn to love ourselves too. There are so many of us who do not love ourselves, then how do we expect a guy to love what we detest. So thank you for starting this little revolution of love for our-selves in a selfless and fruitful way!
Comment by Ella
April 19, 2006 @ 1:41 am
Hi, my name is Ella from Nigeria. All the write up so far as really helped me found my feet again, thanks to Sarah. Don’t know how i came about her website but too happy i did cos it was what i needed trying to get back at pulling my self together. Thanks Sarah and do keep it up cos u’ve helped most women when they thought they can no longer help a relationship mostly when they’ve been through a heart breaking one. Thanks cos i do enjoy every bit of the write up and they are amazing
Comment by sandy
April 19, 2006 @ 2:49 am
THIS IS SO TRUE OF THE MATURE MEN AND THERE ARE YOUNGER MEN WHO ARE MATURE FOR THERE AGE. AND I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE I WANT A MAN WHO WANTS ME FOR WHO I AM NOT JUST FOR LOOKS, ONE WHO KNOWS MY SPIRIT AND SOUL AND CAN BE A PART OF WHO I AM AND ENJOY HIM TO FOR WHO HE IS. SO YES I AM WORKING ON MY SPIRT AND ONE BEING ME TO THE FULLEST, THANK U FOR ALL YOUR HELP SANY
Comment by sandra kembabazi Daniels
April 19, 2006 @ 1:11 pm
Hi Sarah, i’m so glad that i have chance to comment, since i started to read your articles, i have become a better woman, your words speak deeply to me, and each time i receive mail from you, i am so excited even to open it up, you are just the BEST, thank you so much, about men, im not in a relationship anymore, had to let go 3 months ago, but i dont feel bad about it as i would usually have, reading your articles have made me feel loved, beautiful and strong, i thank you once again. take care, Sandra
Comment by KI DYOTI
April 19, 2006 @ 1:28 pm
I know, man very often attracted by childish voice and behaviour, but woman must also have enough knowledge of “pracital” psychology such as giving reward, talk about man’s hobby, joking on the right moments, etc
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
Ki Dyoti
Comment by Sarah
April 19, 2006 @ 3:50 pm
Hi Sarah…I have been using some of your techniques and am finding that it is still the young immature ones approaching me. I have no trouble finding guys wanting to get to know me but have trouble keeping any interested. I know they are just the wrong ones but after nearly 4 yrs of being a single mum I am getting a little disheartened. I am trying my best to follow your advice and see if the right one will come along. Thanks for all the advice.
Comment by soleille
April 19, 2006 @ 7:46 pm
hi guys
i am writing from australia…your wisdom and look in life is inspiration..
your words are empowering,intelligent,bold,spiritual healing.
thanks you for tip and i feel great just after reading it.
great article.
Comment by lydia
April 19, 2006 @ 9:06 pm
I will start by thanking you people,
i liked your ideas,they are really helpfull,they do wonders.i and my lover are doing great.just because of your articles that am following.
thanx.
Comment by Sousou
April 19, 2006 @ 9:12 pm
Hi,
I am writing from Syria where we are some different in our point of view to relationships in appearance but in deep actually it is the same for all of us , we the WOMEN.
It is indeed a great article, the way you look at yourself is extremely importatnt and that is what I call Self Confidence.
It is something you should feel first then it will be reflected and the others will feel that you are a woman in harmony with your self and you are just satisfied in the way you are.
May be my experience is a little different but the result I have come to is not what I want. The men I have come to know in my life are just looking for money no matter what you are and what is your inner self. Believe me it is hard to accept this, but it is the truth. You may say you don’t need a man who is looking for money, yes it is true I don’t need such a man but what if all the men are just like that. Should I spend my life alone or what? I am very good looking, very educated women and not rich at all, the thing that makes me on second or third degree for the men I have met before.
I still have hope that someday I’ll meet the man of my life the man who is looking for me not for what I have and untill that time I wish you all the happiness you deserve.
Comment by Belinda
April 19, 2006 @ 10:20 pm
Hi sarah
Thanks alot for your information.Infact you are like a mother advicing the daughter. May God’s abundance riches be yours.
” More grease to your elbows”.
Thanx
Comment by Marwa
April 19, 2006 @ 11:51 pm
Frankly and in a very short comment..
“This Article is one of the most practical and self-confidence giving articles I’ve ever read..”
During my early & middle 20s, I was one of these ladies putting my all efforts on how do I look like…
Before joining any party, any kind of gathering or even a meeting, I was paying much more
attention to my Appearance…
Now things changed….
Since basically, I discovered that I never even got attracted to the man
likes only my appearance or flirting my dress… The first thing I get attracted
to in a man is The Mind, the Character, the way he thinks and his life point of view..
Shortly, I like the man has a deepness in his personality, and what I hate the most
are these Men turning their heads only to tight and short skirts putting on ladies…
Comment by Aleya
April 20, 2006 @ 4:04 am
I am glad that this article was posted! The thing is i’m still trying break out of the college thing;and i know i like to have my exterior validated but at the same time i’m the kind of person who likes how happy i am with someone, the heart within the person.
And of course i preach these sort things to my friends when they complain that they like a guy but he’s not physically attractive; but then reading this article reminds me: “practice what you preach.” So i’m glad this was posted and it’s a nice reminder that i have something worth it and the ones who can’t recognize it i don’t really want to spend precious time with.
Comment by DORIS
April 20, 2006 @ 6:52 am
THANK YOU FOR ARTICIAL ABOUT WHAT MEN LOOK FOR IN A MATURE WOMAN, I HAD NOT THOUGHT ABOUT IT THAT WAY AND I AM 69 YR OLD WIDOW, HOW ABOUT SOMETHING FOR US,WHO WOULD JUST LIKE TO FIND SOMEONE FOR COMPANY, THEY ONLY SEAM TO WANT SEX, SURELY THERE IS SOME WAY TO HAVE JUST FRIENDS AND MAYBE SEX LATER
Comment by sophie
April 20, 2006 @ 1:36 pm
hey!!!i think you are great..you should write a book..becuz im dying to buy it..muahz!!!
Comment by Donna Phillips
April 21, 2006 @ 3:03 am
This informtion has been so helpfull!!!!!thanks so much for it and i sincerly hope that everyone reads it and thinks the same thing aboutit. It also allowed a deeper indepth look at what attraction really is sinve I for one did not know some f the things stated in this columb.
Sincerly thanking this website for all its info.
Comment by smileyes
April 21, 2006 @ 8:38 pm
Ahhhh Amy! I so loved your final sentence there…aye aye, “if it doesn’t happen, then I’m better off without it/them anyway†is what I’ve been telling myself when things around me get weird & hurtfull. Sometimes I feel like I’m just being the wolf in the aesop’s fables’ grape-vine story. But reading your article kind of reinforced my believe.
Hmmm…there are many many IMMATURED people around still, though they are in adult bodies, their mind…ahhh, belongs to kindergarden. I’ve gone through a lot of betrayals, there’s no need to talk about guys in specific, coz gals can be venomous themselves. Was it jealousy? I don’t know. I’m nowhere near pretty…average height & built, dark, oily-skinned, having to arrive in Uni in sweats daily…but I maintain friendliness with almost everyone I come across.
Sometime last year, I realized that I was falling in love (in my mind…was adapting wait & see attitude, looking for signs of reciprocation), with someone who was a good friend…but with some mutual friends spreading rumors that I was after him (while reality was that his current g/f & her housemate were the ones spinning the web around him) things became sour. He started avoiding me…from friendliness it became a hot-and-cold affair, mostly he was like talking to me just to be polite kinda-thing.
And worst was, amidst all these…the whole ‘geng’ of friends whom I was close to started avoiding me =( Without rhyme or reason, everyone started shunning me..leaving me out of activities, simple things like stopped telling me when they went for lunch, no more informing me about gatherings/birthday parties etc, and it hurt so very much coz these were my close friends for past 3years, since entering Uni. How immature? When I decided to confront…i was told there’s no problem. but nothing much changed. I tried to blend in all over again…but the cold-shoulder treatment I received reminded me that I too have some dignity to preserve. No more making myself a doormat!
Well Amy, this ain’t the first time =( I’ve been backstabbed & isolated by another group of people some 4years ago (in beginning of my uni life) which affected my first phase of studies. Being my ex-housemates, I considered them important in my life, without any reciprocation…and those gals who did it again last year to me were the ones who were there for me all along. After all the years, it was hard to believe that my ‘close frens’ did that to me!
Just because of a guy…they dumped me aside. In those times, reading ur emails were one of my many coping techniques. It isn’t easy to be away from home, and friendless =(
Well, they are all ‘happy’, and so am I – as I’ve learnt more important lessons. From “people always change†to “trust no one fullyâ€Â, I’m also beginning to see “the law of Karma†playing its effect. What goes round definitely comes around…so, I’d rather ‘free them from festering hatred within me’ & be happy. Though deep inside, from time to time…i rebleed to think of how things had changed, just because of a guy! I still think that he’s one of the nicest guy I know…but he too was immature!
*shake heads* and in a way…glad that I was shown that these aren’t true friends. Huh…in fact, they are worse than enemies, to have gained your trust & backstab like that! The months I spent wondering the meaning of friendship. Till today, I’m facing them daily…but I don’t know exactly why they did that to me…eliminate me from the ‘race’?
I’ve learnt to Life & Give without expectation, and accept what good comes my way with Gratitude! =) …interspersed with moments of Down in the dumps/Depression.
Comment by glenda
April 22, 2006 @ 4:00 pm
You are so right! I didn’t buy it at first, but when I started to really love myself and take care of me first and look the best I could even at my 345 pounds, and my 45 years, I will tell you what, the men have been attracted to me. Yes, I have started to have dates now. Men find me attractive for the first time in years. Thank you, Sarah!
Comment by Marie Jacquelyne
September 7, 2006 @ 1:57 am
Being yourself is the answer and body language tells it all. If your not attracting the “right” kind of guy its because what your face is saying and what your body is saying are 2 different things.
Your body language must say..Hey,if you are a great guy and looking for a serious relationship..I’m it. Then your mouth has to say it too.
I have learned about body language since I am twelve and I use it to get what I want depending in what situation. If it is a job I want..I give the professional body language, if its love..love language, if its..keep away from me..my body goes into..keep away mode.
People don’t realize it but most of the time..its your body language that really says the truth about you.
RSS feed for comments on this post.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your ability to attract men! My How To Be Irresistible To Men course has helped thousands of women just like you to meet and attact fantastic men. If you're on the verge of giving up because all you've been meeting is Mr. Wrong or Mr. Unavailable or Mr. Only-After-One-Thing, then you owe it to yourself to take one last chance. You CAN develop the relationship you always dreamed about. My course is guaranteed to deliver real results and change your life!
Most women give up on their love life because they don't know what they're doing wrong with men. They don't know why he stops calling, why he loses interest, or why the love dies. You have to learn what it takes to attract men WITHOUT compromising your integrity with mindgames or wasting time and effort. Get the whole package that gives you REAL results guaranteed. Right Now!
Get my course on attracting men and put an end to your man troubles!
Want to learn more dating
& relationship secrets?
Discover my complete
attraction course!
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | ||||||
| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 |
| 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
| 30 | ||||||
MORE Fantastic Products
