Discover the Secrets to REAL Attraction...

With my premium How To Be Irresistible To Men course, you will learn how to meet and attract the kind of man you've always wanted by following my proven system. It will open your eyes to a whole new world of dating and attraction. In fact, it's like discovering the world is round for the first time! Once you discover the philosophy behind what attraction is, how it works and how to create it, your whole reality will change forever. Visit my website on how to attract men and discover a new world of attraction secrets now!

Dates and More Dates

Tuesday, May 9, 2006

posted by amy

I've been going on a slew of blind dates from an online dating site recently.  It seems that every profile I put up attracts a different sort of person.  My last profile seemed to attract young, intense, focused entrepreneurs.  My current profile appears to have attracted intelligent artistic men.

It's strange how a online dating profile, like a resume, can highlight different aspects of yourself, each attractive to a different sort of guy.  My early efforts into online dating attracted a lot of immature young partiers.  I wasted hours chatting to men who lived so far away that we would never meet, and I spent ages composing carefully polite responses to men that I knew I'd never want to date.

Although I know much more than I did back then, my online dating efforts seem to follow the same pattern: I put up a profile, chat with a dozen or so guys, meet half of them, then end up with one really cool friend/romantic interest with whom I end up hanging out constantly for the next six months.

I tend to get discouraged with online dating sites.  It's like the old adage: "Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink."  There are so many men online, but finding someone you click with is hit or miss.  The effort involved in answering emails and sorting through "winks" can become too much when coupled with work and social activities.   After a month online, I end up removing my profile and spending more time on me rather than dating.

The great thing with taking a break from online dating is that when you get back into it, you have fresh enthusiasm.  I recreate my profile from scratch every time, with different photos, so that I can meet different sorts of people.  My most successful profile was when I was moving to a new country and men lined up to show me around.

Why was that particular profile so successful?  I think it was because men had a reason to meet me that wasn't to suss out the romantic possibilities.  Even if they weren't particularly attracted to me, they felt a friendly obligation to welcome me to the area and did it with pleasure.

And when romance happened, it struck without warning.  A friendly fellow thought that it would be a laugh to meet this traveler for a drink and a chat, and the attraction was immediate.  We ended up having a wonderful six-month relationship.

So what does that suggest about online dating?  That perhaps a better approach to meeting than the first casual coffee date is to meet one another for a reason.  Maybe he is into kayaking, and you'd like to learn.  Maybe your favorite museum has a new exhibit, and he doesn't know much about art.

When one of you has something to share, and the other one is willing to learn, then a friendly ground is established that promises that the date will be a positive experience with no pressure. 

I am always wary of online profiles that state that Bachelor or Bachelorette X is seeking for their soulmate.  We're ALL looking for our soulmate.  But I don't want to meet a possible online match knowing that I'm going to be immediately rejected if I don't fit his vision of the perfect mate.

I think that men feel this way, too.  Men will want to meet you if they think from your profile that they're going to have a great time chatting with you.  If they sense that your only purpose in being online is to find the guy of your dreams, then they may not want to put themselves up for rejection.

At any rate, I've had a couple of nice chats with lovely men.  No sparks yet, but I don't have any expectations.  I'm simply enjoying the experience of dating.

000 Relationships Logo

1 Comment

106

Comment by Monica

May 12, 2006 @ 5:08 am

Nobody indeed likes rejection and its one of a very vast and popular fear. When meeting for a date, we often expect rejection as a possibility but its only when it really happens that it could wound one, even if delivered in the most gentle way. And if this recurs over and over again, not only can one fear to try again but they may also lose self confidence and seek to change themselves.

I like your idea of creating a “relaxed” profile. It sounds like a great recipe for successful online dating :), which i shall most definately try :).
i also think one has to solemnly begin to believe themselves that its not just about finding someone but also going out there and having fun in the process. When i go out for example, i often go focused with a mission statement ” tonight, i am going to have fun.” But when i see the cute couples, i often feel the need to search and often forget my mission and end up going home sad if i dont find a nice guy 🙁 the great thing about being online is you see people in the same position, looking. And even better if they offer a relaxed profile, an unpressured opportunity to learn and have fun.
Some societies have made dating very serious which indeed becomes pressuring. But already offering a date with what we can do on the first date,e.g them showing you around the area :), can make you look willing to learn, sociable, and exciting, which you are ;-). often a quality that can be difficult to express under the first impression jitters of a “serious” date :). and if they or you are not attracted, then there is definately room for genuwine friendship. But if its sparks, then great 🙂

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

STOP!

You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your ability to attract men! My How To Be Irresistible To Men course has helped thousands of women just like you to meet and attact fantastic men. If you're on the verge of giving up because all you've been meeting is Mr. Wrong or Mr. Unavailable or Mr. Only-After-One-Thing, then you owe it to yourself to take one last chance. You CAN develop the relationship you always dreamed about. My course is guaranteed to deliver real results and change your life!

Most women give up on their love life because they don't know what they're doing wrong with men. They don't know why he stops calling, why he loses interest, or why the love dies. You have to learn what it takes to attract men WITHOUT compromising your integrity with mindgames or wasting time and effort. Get the whole package that gives you REAL results guaranteed. Right Now!

Get my course on attracting men and put an end to your man troubles!