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My colleague Andrew sent me this joke, and it was illustrated the differences between the sexes so aptly that I had to laugh and share it with you! Enjoy.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMANTake off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MANTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pile on the floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW BECAUSE MOST OF IT IS TRUE!!!
Comment by Ally
September 20, 2006 @ 1:31 am
Can’t….stop….laughing!!
Help!
*chokes*
OMG..that really was hilarious!
Comment by Carly
September 20, 2006 @ 8:38 am
Well well…Someone else has a husband like mine… Good for a giggle though…
Comment by Debbie
September 20, 2006 @ 10:14 am
Besides that being funny, I was struck by how free and happy the man was! Why are we women so serious?
Comment by Judy Harvey
September 20, 2006 @ 12:22 pm
That’s more than a joke….it’s telling it like it is. And the previous comment makes an excellent observation….why are we (female) so serious? What’s wrong with being as ‘free and happy as a man’. And if we are this way (serious) all the time,and don’t enjoy those happy care-free times along with the men aren’t we asking for trouble? I say relax and enjoy and just have fun with him and worry about hanging up the towel later. Make any sense? Great articles…keep up the good work. Judy
Comment by Sherelle
September 20, 2006 @ 12:39 pm
Ah yes… I have read that before… still it is a great laugh… and soooo true… I agree with Judy & Debbie. We need to relax a be a bit more casual… after all the effort in the shower we still end up with more wrinkles then blokes anyway (Laughs Out Loud) Thanks for posting it Amy.
Cheers,
Sherelle
Comment by Sharon
September 20, 2006 @ 8:12 pm
OMG….HELP!! IM LAUGHING AND CANT STOP!!
WOMEN OUGHT TO LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE…..AND LIVE LIFE!!
ALL THE RUBBING AND SCRUBBING,AS SHERELLE PUT IT,LEADS TO MORE WRINKLES ANYWAYS!!
JUST FOR THE RECORD: AM THROWING OUT MY APRICOT FACIAL SCRUB AS SOON AS I GET HOME TODAY!! LOL!!
KEEP THIS UP…MAKES LOTS OF SENSE AND TEACHES ME TO BE NATURAL AND FREE AND COMFORTABLE ABOUT BEING ME.
Comment by Nan
September 20, 2006 @ 10:15 pm
Am i a man? Im more like a guy except for the willy woo. The guy thing was funny. The girl thing more amazed me.
Comment by Carol
September 20, 2006 @ 10:54 pm
True, so true. But now that I’m older I wonder why I busted my butt to be attractive. Maybe we should stop trying so hard…Nah I like being female most times, feel unconfortable being hairy 🙂
Comment by Anne
September 21, 2006 @ 2:02 am
I’ve read this before and am still laughing its so funny and so true. I love it. Men are so much more relaxed about themselves than we are. Although for how long? advertising and popular culture is turning them into some awful half man-half woman thing called a metrosexual which comes complete with its own set of facial and body scrubs, loofahs, shampoos and gingseng blah blah blah. I just LOVE men the way they are supposed to be. They keep us sane and grounded and laughing. Love ya guys!
Comment by Vicky
September 21, 2006 @ 5:17 am
The description of the bloke was so gross! How can that be attractive?!
Comment by ROSY
September 21, 2006 @ 9:06 pm
I can’t help laughing. This is really funny, interesting and true. I never thought of this. But can we ever be as free as men.
Comment by Marianne
September 22, 2006 @ 12:02 am
It was a relief reading this. Thank God there is nothing especially wrong with my man, and i just realised how serious we women usually are. Not that there is anything wrong with that, someone has clean up after that kid. Not so?
Comment by Liz
September 22, 2006 @ 4:52 am
I think that this is so cute and generally so true! I’m not the only one laughing here….
And as to it being “so gross” Vicky, or Amina’s “hmmm”; lighten up a little! Sometimes its awesome that guys can be so free and so adorable, and I wouldn’t want to be with a man who had more hang-ups than I did! I love my men the way they are; not the way I want them to be; not trying to “fix” them, or “counsel” them- the ONLY thing I drill into my friends/family/bf’s heads is how attractive and what fantastic people they are. And if they’re doing this, then I’m all for it!
Loving everything Amy, keep it up!
Comment by cheryl
September 24, 2006 @ 7:57 am
Well,its more or less true and very funny.Women are meant to be lady like aren’t we? plus we want to be beautiful most of the time and so like to bathe in a way that we feel cares for our bodies,as we like being pampered.Where as men just like to let it all hang out and have a quick wash then they’re out of there,most of the time.If we just let it all hang out like men,scratch our bums,break wind and laugh etc,would we feel like ladies? i think not! though in private who knows we might just do that!!:-)
Comment by sally
September 26, 2006 @ 8:46 pm
Its really amazing just how we want to look good, but hell! , we are just being women! and for who THE MEN.
That is why we are different – “men”and “women”.Relax and be urself gals,we are who we are and so are the men!!!!!!!!
Comment by eni
October 5, 2006 @ 11:29 pm
well well, that was really a lightening message i liked it very much, and sure one thing i noticed is how the man is free and relaxing all the way, and gals … u know. i once read this proverb it says ‘if u obay all the rules , u will miss all the fun’ and this message reminded me of it. let try and have fun gals. enjoy
Comment by Chase
October 12, 2006 @ 2:34 am
After marriage we loose our friends, wife..has baby that dominates all her time and we still try to be there best friend…as best we no how.
Comment by Shamar
November 15, 2006 @ 4:29 pm
Yessss,
Some of this is soooo true!
Why are men so hairy? Even when I don’t shave, I can’t compete with the amount of body hair on a man.
Going clothed to the shower….I don’t think so… I’m way too much of a tease when I see my man lookin’ at my swayin’ bum….
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