Comment by allison

June 21, 2006 @ 2:41 am

I went on a great second date with a guy over the weekend. I ended up going back after a great night with him..to his place. We had such incredible chemistry and he was really into me. He said, he could not wait to see me again and get to know me. When I woke up in the morning, he had a hard on. He than asked if I was going to do anything about it. I got up and went to the bathroom and said “You take care of what you need to”. We laughed, he made me feel like I did something wrong by not playing with his package. What should a woman do in that situation. I was really interested in seeing him again and now he has not called me. How do I find a decent man, who has respect for a woman and boundaries of first meeting. Should I not have gone back to his place with him?
Sincerely,
single in the city (NYC)

Comment by walli

June 21, 2006 @ 3:27 am

So you stayed the night with him but didn’t have sex? If that’s the reason he’s not calling, you’re better off without him. A mature man wouldn’t pressure you and certainly wouldn’t be mad just because you didn’t sleep with him after only two dates. (But I think maybe next time you shouldn’t spend the night either.)

Good luck.

Comment by Cathy

June 21, 2006 @ 4:19 am

Love tactics. Boy, do I agree with you Amy. I am so tired of meeting men and feeling like I have to play their sordid little man games to “win”. I don’t like playing games. I just like being me. I,too, want someone who wants me for the sweet, kind, wonderful woman that I am, and not because of what I look like. I want a mature stud who doesn’t judge his manhood by the eye candy on his arm!

Comment by san ku

June 21, 2006 @ 7:41 am

uhh hmm…it sounds like you are jealous of the competition(money wise) from the Love Tactics system…it’s not game playing, like you say…i learned a lot of the same skills when i went to therapy…it’s simply called “strategy”.I asked the q many times…”how do I deal with him?” the answer was the same basic skills i learned in love tactics.you just cant change human nature and the way God built us and instilled in us all the same wants and needs.

Comment by sandra

June 21, 2006 @ 8:16 am

i agree that having a man who has to compete to be with you is not genuwine love and i do respect the fact that he should want to be with me because he loves me not because he wants to show me off like a new car, by the way Sarah, i found myself a new man who i think im in love with and he respects me, im using all your advise in this relationship and im loving the way its going, thank you plus all your readers, take care, Sandra

Comment by Debbie Cole

June 21, 2006 @ 8:28 am

Love Tactics. Hmmm….I bought a membership to that service and bought the book. It’s the same as ‘The Rules’. Remember that book, ladies? It’s about manipulation and mind games. It’s about keeping the man constantly off-balance with manipulation strategies. I tried that, but it felt so wrong to me all the way down the the core. A year ago I dated a guy that would work really well with those tactics. But I agree with Amy: I don’t want that type of man. He was always unavailable and out of reach for the attention I wanted and could give back. Thank goodness I did meet a kind, gentle man that calls me every day, loves the affection I shower on him, and when we have an argument, he doesn’t dump me and works through the issues and our relationship gets stronger.

I tried to use the Love Tactics system on him in the beginning because I thought that’s what kept a man interested. Guess what he did? He dumped me. I apologized and begged for his forgiveness. Thank goodness he gave me another chance. Since then, I’ve just been myself without any manipulation involved, since he can definitely spot it a mile away.

What I found was that emotionally stable and available men & women THAT WE WANT won’t stand for mind games and manipulation. They will just as easily bid adieu and find someone that doesn’t do that to them. I’ve been through therapy to understand this as well, and it’s true that it’s unhealthy to use strategies like Love Tactics. The people we get resulting from using them are garbage and won’t fulfill our needs.

Comment by Linda Elliott

June 21, 2006 @ 12:34 pm

Well I hate mind games and really believe that manipulation is wrong in any relationship. Love tactics embraces manipulation. If a man likes me he likes me and if he doesn’t he doesn’t. I am coming out of a relationship of over 2 years. I was manipulated those years. My ex boyfriend was very controlling and he was very cheap. I should have known this when I saw his apartment. He had absolutely no furniture and he slept on the floor. This man was an investor and had a lot of money but he never spent it. He hoarded it in the bank. He complained about how much our first date cost him. I thought he would change with time but this obviously did not happen. When he complained about seeing me because gas was so expensive, he became more manipulative. I broke up with him and said goodbye. Goodbye manipulation and control. Hello wonderful freedom.

Comment by MARITZA

June 21, 2006 @ 6:59 pm

I just want to say that i needed to hear that.. thanks… its extremely frustrating when you meet a nice guy and it seems like nothing you do is good enough to keep him interested. It makes you feel regected and hurt and “not good enough” but a while ago I realized that if that person cant love me for me then he is not what I want… why play games to keep someone interested? You can’t make someone love you… no matter what you do. But sometimes we forget that.. I did. But after reading your article I was reminded again… Thank you

Comment by Jack

June 21, 2006 @ 8:34 pm

A guy’s perspective …..

These strategies do work. As a person on whom such strategies have been used, and as a person who in turn has used love tactics, I know they do work. Yes, we would prefer if this was not the case, but as long as we, as humans, decide using our emotions, till then, we will get influenced by such tactics.

Ask yourself, haven’t you ever been attracted to a person who was simultaneously dating 2-3 other people, who seemed busy and unavailable, and was not as interested in you as you were in him (or her). Someone who seemed wild and reckless, who wouldn’t go by the rules.

But there’s more to this. There is a rule that states that you cannot both respect and manipulate a person. Knowing tactics are good, as long as you are happy in being able to see through the tricks of others, and sometimes use the same tricks on other people too. But it is not possible to have a healthy, long-term relationship with a person, and also continue to manipulate him (or her).

Seduction can be taught. But then, it definitely cannot be compared with romance, which cannot be planned out or taught, but which is so much better than seduction.

Comment by Ngozi

June 22, 2006 @ 10:47 pm

Love tactics and love game are rubbish it is a way by which immatured men used to hit and run.I agree with you Amy. I am so tired of meeting men and feeling like I have to play their sordid little man games to “win”. I don’t like playing games. I just like being me. I,too, want someone who wants me for the sweet, kind, wonderful woman that I am, and not because of what I look like. I want a matured man who doesn’t judge his manhood by the eye candy on his arm! I thank you very much for your helpful advice infact your idea on relationship is always the best. Once I personally noticed that a man is coming to me with tactics and game, I will pick a senior race bicos tactics and game signifies that the man is just after use and dump. Thank you very much for your selfless effort to keep our relationship going in a genuine way.

Comment by Ashanti

June 28, 2006 @ 8:27 am

I agree with u Amy. My boyfriend tells me stories of bets that he and his friends made when they were young & immature. Bets about which one of them will get the pretty miss, who refuses to talk to anyone of them. How they will literally wear her down, until she gives in to one of them. But that is about it. They never have any real feelings for them. TO them its just a game.

Comment by smileyes

June 30, 2006 @ 12:04 am

Dear Amy,
I too have checked out the LOVE TACTICS videos. True…those are ‘games’ to ‘own the one you want’. Which I feel in some ways might be ‘not being who you truly are’! That ain’t good…now, is it?
If the other person want to get you coz u are hard to get…they will successfully build up their ego. And place you sooooo high & unreachable. But once they get what they want…its just like a kid who pesters the parents for a new toy, shows initial excitement for having it…once tired of it, will become the ‘trophy’ u mentioned. Its good if they even polish the trophy u know…worse if you are just taken for granted!
Hmmm…seems like you are telling us to be ourselves. All the better – coz if someone cant accept us for who we are, we are better off without them ïÅ
Treat everyone in our life as how we’d like to be treated, lovingly…with care, as if they were our near and dear ones. Those who find this ‘irritating’ would be naturally repulsed. Those who remain are within the same wavelength…Good-Bye to immature, game-playing people!

Comment by Monica

July 4, 2006 @ 4:16 am

it is really sad how many of us women are having problems with men and yet slightly reaasuring, encouraging, comforting that one is no alone. Its hard who to blame because relationships are a two way process. we only get what we tolerate, right? Honestly i dont blame people that want to use love tactics because after being hurt, played, double crossed, hit and run …, one can only try to their best to protect themselves. it is sad because somewhere deep down, nobody likes playing games but we are forced due to past experiences. As for me, i am tired of playing games. i would love to meet guy who is real (wont we all :)). one things lerant is that we should never give up. we are going to be hurt, yes, but that should only makes us stronger and not give up on love. There are real men out there, and sometimes, it just takes a little patience…
i met a guy i really liked recently, i decided to cut the games, you know, just be me and just get into something amaizing. he is a nice guy but unfortunately, i can already see that he gets corky.I dont know why men do things like that/ cant just a man see and appreciate, love a good woman? Now i dont know whether i should stop being available (have been too much 🙁 ) and start all these games again. Honestly, sometimes it seems like the only way for him to stay long enough to realise what a great woman he has.

Comment by Rita Massey

July 12, 2006 @ 3:44 am

I think love tactics is a great site.., everyone need to read it CLOSELY! It says to choose wisely, don’t use the methods on someone unloving and uncaring.., do your work on a good and loving man., b/c we can’t make anyone change who they really are before nor after we marry them. Love tactics is great! It’s the way God intended love to be.

Comment by Bill

July 20, 2007 @ 12:10 am

Wow…sounds like you didn’t really spend much time investigating the Love Tactics site. The site does not advocate “gameplaying” as you suggest. It simply lays out the psychological basis of romantic love in an easy to understand way. The idea that you “would not want a man that would respond to Love Tactics” is comical, as all human beings have the same basic psychological make up and respond to the principles as outlined by the authors. You can bury your head in the sand and ignore the principles at your own risk, or get smart and apply them to your relationships. It is easier to not take responsibility for your own love life however by hoping fate will magically bring you the love you seek. Is that what you do when you try to look for a new job? Wait for someone to just hire you for you, or do you do all in your power to make it happen? That is what Love Tactics is all about…

Comment by Marilyn

October 6, 2007 @ 6:59 am

Love tactics actually revolves around the principles of psychology. Its really what is in the root of your mind and how you and your partner would relate and interact with eachother. If you keep doing the same thing without results, then maybe the thing you are doing needs to be altered.

Best of luck in love, we all deserve it! 🙂