Hi, everyone!

I’ve got a question for you.  I’m giving away FIVE COPIES of our newest e-book.  (I’m not giving away any clues away yet as to what it’s about!)

All you have to do is answer the question below correctly, and you’ll go into the draw to be one of the lucky 5 people to receive a free copy.

The question is:

What do you think is the single most attractive quality that men look for in a woman  … and why?

I’m really looking forward to your comments.  Post your answer below if you want to win!

I’ll list the winners shortly (along with my answer) and I’ll let you know how to claim your prize if you are a winner.

Best of luck! 

Do you feel tired all the time?

Do you feel like you never have enough time to sit down, let alone enjoy a few minutes to yourself?

Do you catch yourself looking frazzled and worn out? 

Do you wish you could just shut the door and close the world out so that you'd have a moment's peace? 

If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, then you may be compromising your attractiveness without realizing it!

No one ever says, "She's so pretty when she's stressed out."

Running around like a crazy person, not having any time to socialize, and always feeling like you're at the end of your rope are not qualities that attract romance.  They're qualities that scream, "This woman doesn't have time for a relationship!"

But the curse of modern life is that we do get busy, stressed out, frazzled, and have no time whatsoever.  Our eyes become bleary from lack of sleep, worry lines etch our foreheads, and our bodies slouch from exhaustion.

Taking time for yourself isn't just important to stay physically healthy: it's important to stay emotionally healthy as well.  When you're tired and stressed, you end up snapping at those you love, glowering when everyone else is smiling, and avoiding social activities that add another layer of pressure to your already-hectic life.

That's why I think it's so important to spend some time asking ourselves how we can feel healthy, vibrant, and alive.

• When was the last time that you felt absolutely amazing?
• What do you think was the reason(s) that you felt so great?
• How long did it last?
• Do you think it's possible to feel that way all the time? 
• What would it be worth it to you to have more energy, more time, and more joy?

If you're serious about your quest to feel fantastic (not just "good enough") all the time, then you're ready to meet Heather Picken.

Heather Picken is a motivational coach, certified personal trainer, nutritionist and metabolic specialist who has made it her goal to help women feel absolutely amazing through her company, "I FEEL Like a Million Bucks! " She believes in empowering women to achieve higher energy levels, a more positive outlook, greater happiness, and greater success in all areas of their lives.

For Heather, one of the most important areas that we can make a difference in is our personal health.  When we experience stress in our lives, many of us turn to food and unhealthy behaviors like sleeping too little, drinking too much, and not exercising to get us through.

Yet instead of giving us more energy, those behaviors actually drain our energy and make us feel lethargic, unhappy, and negative about ourselves and our appearance. 

That's why Heather designed her 6-Week Ultimate Fat-Burning & Instant Motivational System for Women over 30.  It's a weight-loss program containing 6 CDs and a 63-page manual, targeted for women over 30 who want to lose fat and feel great.  She designed the program for this age group because, she says, "I find as women get older they feel they have no control over their bodies."  This feeling makes many women feel less confident when it comes to pursuing their other goals, such as having a relationship.  Worst of all, those very behaviors that keep us overweight also sap us of energy. 

Heather believes that the response that most of us take to weight loss – a diet – actually hurts us more than it helps us.  If our goal is to feel fantastic, then we need to make long-term changes to how we take care of our bodies.  We need to energize our bodies, not starve them.

Heather explains that her program…

…is based on my 10 years of experience with working specifically with women to get them results that are PERMANENT. This program is very unique as it is NOT A DIET!  It is a system that works to lose fat and inches and will change the way women think and feel about food. 

Learn more about Heather by visiting her website:

http://www.000relationships.com/feelinglikeamillion

It’s finally here!

I walked into the office this morning and saw a big cardboard box on the floor.  Not recognizing the return address, I ripped it open and discovered…

…that the first copies of our newest DVD release, "Secrets to Creating Love for Women over 30," have arrived!  We have been eagerly awaiting these DVDs from the printers and now we have them to offer to you.

This gorgeous 3-DVD set plus CD ROM contains top-secret information for women who are embracing dating into their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond.

SO IS THIS DVD SERIES FOR YOU?

• Are you just plain discouraged, thinking that you’re never going to meet a man worth your time?
• Are you stuck in the same old rut and want to break the habit of meeting the same old guys in the same old places?
• Are you tired of relationships where you’re the one doing all the giving and never getting what you need?
• Do you wish your family and friends would stop nagging you about settling down with Mr. Right?
• Do you worry that you’re scaring off men because you’re too honest/independent/ready to settle down?

If you answered "YES" to any of these questions, then you’re ready for "Secrets to Creating Love for Women over 30"!

HOW IS THIS DVD SERIES DIFFERENT?

So how is this DVD series unique?

Unlike other courses out there, our DVD series starts with a completely different assumption: that you’re past the stage where you need to be told what to wear and what to say and how many days to wait before accepting a date.

In our course, we focus on mature relationships for those who are emotionally evolved.

I don’t need to tell you that there’s a big difference between an 18-year-old and a 40-year-old.  But what you may not realize is that if you are using techniques that are designed for 18-year-olds, you’ll find that you attract men with the minds of 18-year-olds.  (Discover why in "How to Be Irresistible to Men"!)

Lip gloss and boob tubes simply won’t do it when it comes to creating a conscious, committed, and loving relationship.

What you need is a course that specifically addresses your challenges as a woman who is mature, experienced, and more discriminating when it comes to men.

If you…

• …have spent your twenties building a career…
• …have left a long-term relationship and feel like a duck out of water in the singles scene…
• …have children…
• …have emotional baggage that is preventing you from moving forward…
• …are in an unfulfilling relationship and want to know whether you should stay or what you could do to make it better…
• …or simply do not understand why it hasn’t happened for you yet…

…then "Secrets to Creating Love for Women over 30" is the course that you cannot miss!!  It’s packed full of mind-blowing insights and crucial tips for the women who knows that manicures and makeovers are just temporary solutions to the long-term aspiration of sharing real love.

WHY DID WE CREATE "SECETS TO CREATING LOVE"?

We couldn’t have created this DVD series if it weren’t for you, our valued customers and newsletter subscribers!

You wrote to us saying that you wanted information specific to your situation.

You wanted insights that reflected where you were as women who had been married before, or were dating older men, or felt like you were competing with younger women.

There are plenty of online dating sites for over 30s, but very little dating advice for the particular challenges women face as they mature.  In fact, some books suggested that as women enter their 40s, their greater experience, self-knowledge, and confidence makes dating liberating, easy, and tons of fun!

Is dating easier as you get older?  For some women, this may be true.  But for others, the process of dating becomes more and more discouraging.  There are fewer single men, and the single men that these women do meet seem to be that way for a reason.  Work commitment, financial pressures, and family compete for time.  The socializing opportunities available for the younger crowd are no longer available.

Luckily, something happened to change our minds about the dating opportunities available for women over 30.  We met someone who would change our lives forever.

I co-hosted a seminar last December with Sarah Paul on "Advanced Dating Techniques for Women," and one of our guest speakers was a motivational speaker and success coach.  Sue co-presented discussions on "Healthy Relationships" and "Achieving Ultimate Self-Confidence" with clinical psychologist Richard Wheeler.  (And if you’re already purchased "How to Be Irresistible to Men," you will get these videos free with your membership! They’re in the Events Section of the Members Area.)

Meeting Sue was a watershed that not only changed the direction of our research but also ourselves personally.  The insights she shared with us transformed our understanding of what was possible for ourselves and our course.

And now we’re going to share that information with you!

One of the reasons that our message is so powerful is that we do not believe that success is a matter of luck.  If you’re waiting for luck to bring you the right man, or if you’re waiting for a miracle to happen, then you’ll keep waiting forever.

Don’t get caught settling for a ho-hum relationship because you don’t think anything better is possible for you.  Use our advice to learn what you can create in your lifetime.  We’ll show you how to take charge of your love life and start creating the relationship you always dreamed about today.

SAMPLE THE SECRETS!

"Secrets to Creating Love for Women over 30" co-stars myself and colleague Andrew Rusbatch from Save My Marriage Today!  We discuss what we’ve learned in our years as experts in the field: the particular challenges that women over 30 face in finding relationships – and how to overcome them, how to understand elite men (the kind who’ll be a real catch), how to know if a man’s right for you, and how to attract real, lasting love into your life no matter how many broken relationships you’ve had in the past.

Here’s a sample of the secrets you’ll find in our DVD series:

• Think you’re going to be single forever?  You cannot miss this secret for breaking a man drought and inviting a flood of men into your life!
• Stuck in the same old rut?  We tell you what’s keeping you there and how to kickstart real, long-lasting transformation!
• Sick and tired of being passed over for younger women? We share with you this secret to youthful attractiveness without plastic surgery.  Once you master it, men will think you’re decades younger!
• Feel like every time you confess your feelings to a man, he runs away?  We teach you how to avoid scaring men off without having to censor everything you say!
• Feel like you’re the one always giving too much in a relationship?  We give you a technique to make sure that you always give the right amount in a relationship and avoid getting taken advantage of.
• Tired of the poor-quality men you’ve been dating?  We show you what goes on inside the minds of highly successful alpha males, and how you can be the woman they can’t live without.
• Hear your biological clock ticking loud and clear?  Learn how you can achieve your goal of a partner and family within your desired time frame – without scaring men off!
• Wish that your family and friends would stop nagging you about finding a man? Get a fresh perspective that will help you turn off their voices once and for all!
• Have you been hurt by men in the past?  Discover what it takes to keep negative past experiences back where they belong and stop them from influencing your future!
• Having a hard time getting what you need out of relationships?  We show you how to make sure that you get enough out of your relationships.  This will also help you decide whether a man is right for you!
• Want to understand men?  These insights into the modern male psyche are worth the price of the entire course!  Understand his challenges and exactly what he wants from a woman.
• Unclear about the "new" rules of dating?  We explain what you personally can bring to a relationship that no one else can.  The days of a man and a woman having specific gender roles in a relationship may be over, but we teach you how you can use your unique gifts to keep that zing alive in your relationship!
• Love a man but can’t seem to get through to him?  Maybe you’re not speaking his "language"!  We teach you how to get all the love you want and give it to your man in a way he understands.
• Blaming yourself for how your relationships ended?  We’ll share with you the secret of breaking the habit of unhappy relationships and getting rid of the guilt for good.
• What’s your love purpose?  Find out here!
• Fed up with guys who love you only as long as you’re the "perfect" girlfriend or "perfect" partner?  We teach you the secret to getting unconditional love from a man.
• Fed up with men who are completely incompatible?  We share with you the secret to attracting men who fit into your life and stay that way.

TELL ME MORE!  WHEN CAN I BUY "SECRETS TO CREATING LOVE"?

This 3-hour DVD series is now on sale.   It is only available as a 3-DVD pack plus CD ROM, which we’ll ship straight to your door.  It makes the perfect gift for yourself this holiday season.

Don’t get discouraged.  Be inspired!  Discover the secrets of creating love whether you’re in your 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond.  

I’ll be in touch soon! 

Many of us have no clue what a man wants in a relationship.  If we're cynical, we may think he just wants sex, someone to keep him from feeling alone, or the status of having a girlfriend.  If we're romantic, we may think that he wants love, a life companion, and a mother for his children.

And if we look into our own hearts, into the many complex reasons we want a man in our lives, we often find a little bit of all of the above.  The proportions may be different, but none of us can deny that the benefits of a relationship include companionship, intimacy, a change in status from "single" to "couple," love, partnership, and a shared future.

But what most of us don't know is how important relationships actually are for men.  According to the National Marriage Project (supported by Rutgers University), marriage transforms men's lives in positive, healthy ways.  Married men are more productive, earn more money, get sick less, think more about the future, are happier, and even have better sex lives.  According to sociologist Steven Nock, marriage is also a rite of passage from boy to man.

The National Marriage Project 2004 study on "The Marrying Kind: Which Men Marry and Why" reveals that the type of man most likely to look forward to a future of marital bliss is religious, has grown up in a family with both parents, and feels it's time to settle down.  Surprisingly, most men (more than two out of three) do not believe that the purpose of marriage is having children.

Most of these men are married for the first time by the time they're thirty.  Which brings us to the second group that the study examined: the non-marrying kind (22% of those surveyed).  These are men who believe that marriage is not for them: they are significantly more likely to distrust women, fear losing their personal freedom, focus on the high divorce rate and bad marriages, and not want children.  The study suggests that the notion of the thirty-something bachelor who's finally getting ready to settle down after sowing his wild oats is, in fact, a myth.  Many thirty-something single men are undecided or even opposed to the idea of getting married anytime soon.

Therefore, if you're seeking a partner with long-term potential, here are 3 things you should look out for:

1. He speaks positively of marriage or other people's marriages.   If, on the other hand, he often predicts that a trouble marriage will end in divorce or points out the disadvantages and troubles in other people's marriages, then he may not hold a positive enough belief in marriage to want to make that commitment himself.
2. He trusts women in general.  Men who've had positive, healthy relationships with other women (such as his mother, sisters, female friends, co-workers) have often developed the skills needed to build and maintain a relationship with a partner.  These men have a greater understanding of women, or at least have come to peace with gender differences, and are less likely to see women as the enemy.
3. He's passed the stage in life where "fun and freedom" were his main focus.  Even though most men will admit that their freedom is important to them, a man who's settling into the stage in his life where he can think about marriage will find that other goals appeal to him.  He may think more about finding a soulmate.  He may be more interested in building something lasting, such as a career, a house, or public service.  If, on the other hand, he often jokes about the "ball and chain" of marriage and urges friends to treasure their freedom above a woman, he may not be the marrying kind.

To learn more about how you can attract the right kind of man for lasting love, click here and discover "How to Be Irresistible to Men," the ultimate guide for attracting your soulmate.  Stop wasting your time with men who aren't worth it.  Discover how to tell when a relationship is right for you.  You'll be amazed at the quality of men you'll attract.  Get it now at:

http://www.000Relationships.com/tomen/ 

I've discovered a pretty funny thing in my time here on Earth.  Maybe it only applies to me, but it's certainly been proven true in my experience.

• The more I think about how much I want something, the less likely I am to get it.
• The more I focus on the process of getting something (without thinking too much about the object of my goal), the greater chance I have of getting it.

Case in point:

I'm looking for a home.  After much hunting, I found the perfect place – a 10 out of 10 in my scale of perfect homes – perfect price, perfect location, and perfect size.  I wanted the place sooo badly.  I put an offer in, but someone else wanted that perfect place, too.  When the dust settled, the other person's offer was accepted.

How do you think I felt?  How would YOU feel?

Sad? Angry? As if the world was unjust?  As if you'd missed out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and would never find anything that perfect again?

Or would you feel acceptance, knowing that you did everything you possibly could and that this was simply the way things turned out?

I don't think that any of us are really good at accepting that we aren't going to get something we desperately want.  When it comes to things we really, REALLY desire, it's hard to be philosophical about the matter.  Friends say kindly, "If it didn't happen, then it just wasn't meant to be."  Others tell us to look at it as a learning experience: "Look how much you know now!"  Still others might say, "There was probably something wrong with it anyway, so it's best that you didn't get it."

Do any of these mindset ring true when it comes to your dating experiences?

If there's a man you really, REALLY like, how do you react when it appears that he doesn't feel the same way?  Are you philosophical about it, or do you focus on the pain of not getting what you wanted?

If you really, REALLY want to find a man and get married, how do you feel when it seems like every man you date turns out to be a dud?  Do you feel discouraged and decide that fate is telling you that you're never going to get a man, or do you feel like you're getting somewhere by learning something new from each experience?

I'm not saying that you have to be a Pollyanna.  What I am saying is that there's more than one way to look at every situation, and some of those ways make life a lot more fun and enjoyable than others.

It seems to me that the mindset you adopt when you try to achieve your goals matters as much as your actions.  When you do anything from a place of wanting, you can jinx yourself.  In your blind pursuit of what you want, you can miss something important, such as a clue telling you that what you want isn't actually what's best for you at all.  You end up focusing on the object of your desire so much that your wanting grows out of proportion.

For example, have you ever "kind of" liked a guy, but then after talking about how cute and smart and funny he was with friends and family, you suddenly decided that you HAD to have him and that your life wouldn't be worth anything unless he noticed you?

I've known students who've focused so much on how MUCH they want to get into a particular university that they erased from their minds any possibility that they might not get in.  Rather than remaining realistic, asking a lot of questions, and getting an honest assessment of their chances from the recruitment officer, these students assume that the magnitude of their desire would be enough.  When the university sends them a rejection letter, they can't believe it.  "But I really, REALLY want to go there! Why won't they let me in?  Don't they know how much I want to go there?"

Do you see where I'm going with this?  Of course you do.

Really, REALLY wanting something (a boyfriend, a man, a husband) isn't going to do you any good when it comes to actually getting yourself one.

Just because you want a man doesn't mean that you'll get one "just because," any more than you'll lose weight by thinking how much you want to lose weight.

Focus on what you need to do to get the results you want.  Then do it.

If you want a man, then think about the steps you need to take to meet more attractive, available men.  Make a plan.  DO SOMETHING.  Don't just lie alone in your bed at night and dream of a fantasy man or hate yourself because you're still alone.

Focus on what you need to do.  Focus on what you CAN do.  If it's unrealistic for you to buy designer clothes and hit the town every weekend, then don't waste time imagining how those activities would really bring you the man you want.

If there's a particular guy who's caught your eye, then spend less time gazing at him from a safe distance, talking to all your girlfriends about him, and more time getting to know him and creating that first connection (withOUT tripping yourself up by thoughts of what it would be like to be his girlfriend).

Easier said than done, I know. 

When the dust settles, all that matters is that you're able to honestly tell yourself, "I did my best."

And you can be sad afterwards.  I was.  You can wonder briefly if you'll never be able to find the perfect place (or man).  But don't wallow in those thoughts.  You can spend your time in better ways.

Like deciding what you're going to do next. 

Whew … what a day at 000Relationships.com!  We finally launched the 2006 Edition of "How to Be Irresistible to Men."  I've put my heart and soul into it, and I truly believe that today marks the day when women are finally going to have the chance to take a course that respects them as women, that empowers them, and that achieves more than just getting men to dance at their heels – a course that teaches women to get the kind of love they've always dreamed about.

After working with Sarah for the past six months, I've seen women being happiest when they've found a man who really loves them for who they are inside, at the soul level.  It can be fun to play the dating game and learn how to press men's buttons.  They're so easy to infatuate!  But ultimately, knowing how to get a man trailing after you feels like a hollow sort of victory.  What I want, and what I think so many of us want, is the kind of great love that endures time and tests.  Being able to conquer a playboy is fun but not really satisfying for me.  I want to be a gray-haired lady someday with my gray-haired husband, both of us swinging in a rocking chair and watching the sunset.

The problem is that most dating & seduction courses will teach you the basics of flirting, dressing, and being "light and breezy" to attract a man.  Of course those things attract men!  But what happens if you want more than that?  What if you want to attract higher quality men, the kind of men who know the game is played and won't have any of it?  What if you want to re-ignite the fire between you and the partner you currently have?  All the first date advice in the world won't help you that much!

That's why we created the 2006 Edition of "How to Be Irresistible to Men," available now at www.000relationships.com/tomen.  It's a 2-hour video course, broken into 12 lessons on important topics that will utterly transform how you look at relationships.  I'm so proud of the workbook, too, that I wrote to accompany the lessons.  It's got reviews of the key concepts, exercises, and recommended reading lists.

Honestly, this stuff could change your life.  Even if you've bought all the other e-books out there on dating and relationships, you've just scratched the surface.  I'm amazed at what we managed to create.

So go ahead!  Check it out!  The wonderful thing is that we're able to offer a 60-day no-questions-asked moneyback guarantee, so even if you think that it's not something you'd really be interested in, give it a try!  If it doesn't transform your thinking on dating and relationships, email me.  I'll give you a refund immediately.

I just really, really want every woman out there who can try this course to do so.  We need more love in the world!  We women deserve more than relationships where we have to play games to feel like we've earned male attention.  We deserve to be happy with men who truly love us, and that's what my course will teach you to get.

So thanks for supporting us here at 000Relationships.com through this long "birthing" process of the new edition, and don't forget to check it out!   Again, it's at:

www.000relationships.com/tomen

Sarah shared this with me the other day, and I'd like to reprint it here.  If you're struggling with accepting being out of a relationship, or if you're looking for ways to change yourself so that you'll become more attractive to men, then this message might just come at the right time.

The first key to finding love is to believe that it will happen. Believe that you are single at the moment for a reason, and that destiny is trying to teach you something about yourself at this time. It might be to feel comfortable within your own company, or to celebrate being an individual and having control over what happens in your everyday life. But now that you are looking for more, the belief that it will happen will enable you to start to attract your reality.

You may be looking for things in your life to change so that you can attract a man. This is perhaps a misguided way of looking at finding love. The key to finding genuine love is to identify what the person inside you really is, and to celebrate being it. Don’t be the version of you that you think you need to be in order to find the man of your dreams. If you are able to be yourself and love being that person, your genuine nature will attract genuine men to you.

Remember that like attracts like, so if you are looking for genuine love you need to celebrate the genuine you. That way the men who are drawn to you are attracted to the real you.

If Sarah's message spoke to you, you'll love the 2006 Edition of "How to Be Irresistible to Men" (available August 1).  It's an incredible program that will bring out your inner, genuine irresistibility without making you into someone false that you're not.

One of the things Amy promised you, our dear 000Relationships readers, is my perspective on what makes women irresistible.  It's an interesting topic, because there are so many ways for a woman to be irresistible: in physical, emotional, and sometimes just intangible ways.  Then there are the innervating ways that women can just be plain…well, RE-sistable!  So I've gone through my conversations with guys, married and unmarried, and come up with a list of female attributes we like–and hate.  I hope this gives you a better understanding of what men find irresistible, which is quite often a balanced personality and lifestyle.  Enjoy!

Attitude

LIKE:

DON'T LIKE:

Humor

LIKE:

NOT FUNNY!:

Careers 

LIKE:

NOT GONNA "WORK" OUT!:

Emotions

LIKE:

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

HATE!!!:

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

Hobbies

LIKE: 

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

DON'T LIKE, DON'T BOTHER WITH:

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

Intelligence

LIKE:

THE SMART THING TO DO IS MOVE ON!:

Sense of Adventure

LIKE:

LOVE!:

CAN'T FRIGGIN' STAND!:

Money

LIKE:

I WANT A REFUND!:

Long-term relationships

LIKE:

FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER MAN!:

Appearances and Diet 

LIKE:

NEXT!:

Sex

LIKE:

DON'T WANNA GO NEAR:

Travel

LIKE:

ADIOS!:

Trust

LIKE:

SAYONARA!:

Arguments

LIKE:

SHOOT ME NOW!:

Hope you enjoyed this!  Remember, every man is different.  Some will want more of a caring, motherly type; and some men just love bitches (just check out Sheryl Argov's book, "Why Men Love Bitches!").  But all in all, I'm of the opinion that everything in life comes down to BALANCE, the shades of grey wedged between the extremes of black and white.  The successful couples I know, are well-balanced.  While either extreme may seem good on paper, it's usually the woman who's average just like him, that the average guy will go for.

See you next week!

A male voice on a women's blog…I'm flattered!  But as a member of the 000 Relationships team, I guess it *is* my job.  Still, it is always nice to receive a wonderful welcome from the inimitable Amy Waterman.  I'm sure South America will deliver PLENTY of great "research" for our one and only female expert!

ANYway, hello and welcome! I am indeed James, and I am thrilled to be a part of Triple 0 Relationships.  Like Amy said, I've been single, I've been through relationships–some good, some bad–and now, finally, I'm engaged.  The marriage part awaits!  Knowing you women, THAT will be an experience unlike any other! 🙂 

And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.  Delving into the secret world of pick-up artists, relationship experts, and dating in general, has all been lots of fun and, to say the least, illuminating.  But what's really the most interesting part of my research is not finding out what guys think–I think that's pretty self-explanatory–but what GIRLS think.  There's just no limit to what one can learn!  I have to say that in all my encounters with women, whether in a relationship or just through work and friends, I've always come away with something.  It's just part of the way women work, isn't it?  You always have something to teach us.  Never a dull moment, and that's what makes the world of women so mystifying, so exciting for us guys.  You can hang out with guys and things will always seem the same.  But add a girl…and voila!  Change, excitement, passion, GROWTH.  In the case of the girl I'm presently engaged to, I've come away with some real, undeniable personal growth, which I expect to only get better. 

So, in that same vein, I hope YOU come away with something from what *I* have to say, as well.  Stay tuned!

I have to admit … I'm the giggly happy girl day-dreaming today. 🙂

I had a second date last night.   And my … what a second date it was.  A long walk along the beach, watching the sunset, holding hands, styrofoam cups of coffee finished off by a romantic Indian dinner for two.

It has been all the more fantastic for being unexpected.  I didn't think I would like the fellow at all.  We'd been chatting online for about a month, and when we talked on the phone for the first time last weekend we annoyed one another.  I thought he was arrogant; he thought I was rude.  I was ready to throw the towel in and not meet up, but he thought we should give it a go.  We had been chatting for so long, after all.

Thank goodness for that.

Sometimes the unexpected creates the most beautiful results.  I hadn't been expecting much from him; he hadn't been expecting much from me.  And as a result, what we found was something better than either of our expectations.  A connection.  A shared sense of humor.  Pleasure in one another's company.

I believe that one of the reasons that unexpected encounters yield such wonderful relationships is precisely because we have no expectations.  Neither of us has to live up to anything.  I accept him as he is; he accepts me as I am.  There's no pressure to be perfect or to not slip up.

When there are no expectations, we can simply be ourselves around one another.  We have the choice to like one another as we are or leave without guilt.  He doesn't have to like me any more than I have to like him.

And in this magical climate of no expectations, no pressure, and no pretending to be any better a person than we actually were, we looked at each other and liked what we saw.

Isn't that fantastic?