It’s finally here!

I walked into the office this morning and saw a big cardboard box on the floor.  Not recognizing the return address, I ripped it open and discovered…

…that the first copies of our newest DVD release, "Secrets to Creating Love for Women over 30," have arrived!  We have been eagerly awaiting these DVDs from the printers and now we have them to offer to you.

This gorgeous 3-DVD set plus CD ROM contains top-secret information for women who are embracing dating into their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond.

SO IS THIS DVD SERIES FOR YOU?

• Are you just plain discouraged, thinking that you’re never going to meet a man worth your time?
• Are you stuck in the same old rut and want to break the habit of meeting the same old guys in the same old places?
• Are you tired of relationships where you’re the one doing all the giving and never getting what you need?
• Do you wish your family and friends would stop nagging you about settling down with Mr. Right?
• Do you worry that you’re scaring off men because you’re too honest/independent/ready to settle down?

If you answered "YES" to any of these questions, then you’re ready for "Secrets to Creating Love for Women over 30"!

HOW IS THIS DVD SERIES DIFFERENT?

So how is this DVD series unique?

Unlike other courses out there, our DVD series starts with a completely different assumption: that you’re past the stage where you need to be told what to wear and what to say and how many days to wait before accepting a date.

In our course, we focus on mature relationships for those who are emotionally evolved.

I don’t need to tell you that there’s a big difference between an 18-year-old and a 40-year-old.  But what you may not realize is that if you are using techniques that are designed for 18-year-olds, you’ll find that you attract men with the minds of 18-year-olds.  (Discover why in "How to Be Irresistible to Men"!)

Lip gloss and boob tubes simply won’t do it when it comes to creating a conscious, committed, and loving relationship.

What you need is a course that specifically addresses your challenges as a woman who is mature, experienced, and more discriminating when it comes to men.

If you…

• …have spent your twenties building a career…
• …have left a long-term relationship and feel like a duck out of water in the singles scene…
• …have children…
• …have emotional baggage that is preventing you from moving forward…
• …are in an unfulfilling relationship and want to know whether you should stay or what you could do to make it better…
• …or simply do not understand why it hasn’t happened for you yet…

…then "Secrets to Creating Love for Women over 30" is the course that you cannot miss!!  It’s packed full of mind-blowing insights and crucial tips for the women who knows that manicures and makeovers are just temporary solutions to the long-term aspiration of sharing real love.

WHY DID WE CREATE "SECETS TO CREATING LOVE"?

We couldn’t have created this DVD series if it weren’t for you, our valued customers and newsletter subscribers!

You wrote to us saying that you wanted information specific to your situation.

You wanted insights that reflected where you were as women who had been married before, or were dating older men, or felt like you were competing with younger women.

There are plenty of online dating sites for over 30s, but very little dating advice for the particular challenges women face as they mature.  In fact, some books suggested that as women enter their 40s, their greater experience, self-knowledge, and confidence makes dating liberating, easy, and tons of fun!

Is dating easier as you get older?  For some women, this may be true.  But for others, the process of dating becomes more and more discouraging.  There are fewer single men, and the single men that these women do meet seem to be that way for a reason.  Work commitment, financial pressures, and family compete for time.  The socializing opportunities available for the younger crowd are no longer available.

Luckily, something happened to change our minds about the dating opportunities available for women over 30.  We met someone who would change our lives forever.

I co-hosted a seminar last December with Sarah Paul on "Advanced Dating Techniques for Women," and one of our guest speakers was a motivational speaker and success coach.  Sue co-presented discussions on "Healthy Relationships" and "Achieving Ultimate Self-Confidence" with clinical psychologist Richard Wheeler.  (And if you’re already purchased "How to Be Irresistible to Men," you will get these videos free with your membership! They’re in the Events Section of the Members Area.)

Meeting Sue was a watershed that not only changed the direction of our research but also ourselves personally.  The insights she shared with us transformed our understanding of what was possible for ourselves and our course.

And now we’re going to share that information with you!

One of the reasons that our message is so powerful is that we do not believe that success is a matter of luck.  If you’re waiting for luck to bring you the right man, or if you’re waiting for a miracle to happen, then you’ll keep waiting forever.

Don’t get caught settling for a ho-hum relationship because you don’t think anything better is possible for you.  Use our advice to learn what you can create in your lifetime.  We’ll show you how to take charge of your love life and start creating the relationship you always dreamed about today.

SAMPLE THE SECRETS!

"Secrets to Creating Love for Women over 30" co-stars myself and colleague Andrew Rusbatch from Save My Marriage Today!  We discuss what we’ve learned in our years as experts in the field: the particular challenges that women over 30 face in finding relationships – and how to overcome them, how to understand elite men (the kind who’ll be a real catch), how to know if a man’s right for you, and how to attract real, lasting love into your life no matter how many broken relationships you’ve had in the past.

Here’s a sample of the secrets you’ll find in our DVD series:

• Think you’re going to be single forever?  You cannot miss this secret for breaking a man drought and inviting a flood of men into your life!
• Stuck in the same old rut?  We tell you what’s keeping you there and how to kickstart real, long-lasting transformation!
• Sick and tired of being passed over for younger women? We share with you this secret to youthful attractiveness without plastic surgery.  Once you master it, men will think you’re decades younger!
• Feel like every time you confess your feelings to a man, he runs away?  We teach you how to avoid scaring men off without having to censor everything you say!
• Feel like you’re the one always giving too much in a relationship?  We give you a technique to make sure that you always give the right amount in a relationship and avoid getting taken advantage of.
• Tired of the poor-quality men you’ve been dating?  We show you what goes on inside the minds of highly successful alpha males, and how you can be the woman they can’t live without.
• Hear your biological clock ticking loud and clear?  Learn how you can achieve your goal of a partner and family within your desired time frame – without scaring men off!
• Wish that your family and friends would stop nagging you about finding a man? Get a fresh perspective that will help you turn off their voices once and for all!
• Have you been hurt by men in the past?  Discover what it takes to keep negative past experiences back where they belong and stop them from influencing your future!
• Having a hard time getting what you need out of relationships?  We show you how to make sure that you get enough out of your relationships.  This will also help you decide whether a man is right for you!
• Want to understand men?  These insights into the modern male psyche are worth the price of the entire course!  Understand his challenges and exactly what he wants from a woman.
• Unclear about the "new" rules of dating?  We explain what you personally can bring to a relationship that no one else can.  The days of a man and a woman having specific gender roles in a relationship may be over, but we teach you how you can use your unique gifts to keep that zing alive in your relationship!
• Love a man but can’t seem to get through to him?  Maybe you’re not speaking his "language"!  We teach you how to get all the love you want and give it to your man in a way he understands.
• Blaming yourself for how your relationships ended?  We’ll share with you the secret of breaking the habit of unhappy relationships and getting rid of the guilt for good.
• What’s your love purpose?  Find out here!
• Fed up with guys who love you only as long as you’re the "perfect" girlfriend or "perfect" partner?  We teach you the secret to getting unconditional love from a man.
• Fed up with men who are completely incompatible?  We share with you the secret to attracting men who fit into your life and stay that way.

TELL ME MORE!  WHEN CAN I BUY "SECRETS TO CREATING LOVE"?

This 3-hour DVD series is now on sale.   It is only available as a 3-DVD pack plus CD ROM, which we’ll ship straight to your door.  It makes the perfect gift for yourself this holiday season.

Don’t get discouraged.  Be inspired!  Discover the secrets of creating love whether you’re in your 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond.  

I’ll be in touch soon! 

Quick … find the closest mirror to you and take a quick glance.  What do you see?

Did you see the blemishes in your beauty routine?  Did your makeup need freshening up?  Was your hair out of sorts?

Were you smiling?

All of us have a habitual expression.  It's the expression our face falls into when we are absorbed in a task.  When you are washing dishes, watching television, or even reading your computer screen, your face is composed in a particular expression that is unique to you.

It is very hard for us to actually see that expression.  When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we tend to focus on particular parts of our face, usually the lips, eyes, general skin condition, and hair.  I don't know many women who won't glance in a mirror on a trip to the bathroom to check that their lipstick, eyemakeup, powder, and hair is in order.

What we don't realize is that the most important aspect of our face isn't our makeup.  It's our expression.

When you are tired, no amount of makeup can make your eyes look bright and lively.
When you are sad, no amount of lipgloss can make your lips turn up in a happy picture-perfect bow.
When you are stressed, no amount of foundation can keep the worried wrinkles from showing through.

The powers of makeup are extraordinary, but they can't make us look happy, well-rested, and relaxed if we're tired, stressed, and unhappy.

So take a look in the mirror again.  This time, ask yourself…

Do you look happy? 

Looking happy will make you more beautiful than all the beauty routines in the world.

The times when a woman is most radiant, such as on her wedding day, or when she is about to become a mother, are those times when she is most blissfully happy.

When I think back on the times that men have told me that I am beautiful, it is often when I least expect it, in those moments that we have shared some intimacy and I am completely content and happy to be with him.

When you're happy, you glow.  It's a glow that can't be replicated by makeup, facials, or a summer tan.

To look for evidence of how our inner state affects our facial expressions, look no further than your fellow commuters as you travel to work in the morning.  As I walk through the inner city, I often am amused at how easily I can tell who is looking forward to a good day and who is not.  Those who are in a hurry, with heads down and faces grim, don't invite a second glance.  It is those women sashaying to work, as though on a fantasy catwalk, who draw the eye.  When I see a woman with her head up and a smile on her face, I smile back at her involuntarily and take a second look, trying to guess the reason for her good spirits.

So before you invest in that next beauty treatment, try something new: a beauty treatment for the soul.  Spend some time doing something that makes you feel more peaceful, happier, and more fulfilled.  A walk in a park, a few moments spent sitting quietly in a church, a good deed done for someone, a message read in an inspiring book … there are so many ways that we can beautify the spirit.

Because ultimately your face will change into a wrinkled version of itself, and age will wipe clear those beautiful features that you so carefully drew attention to.  But the beauty that comes from a soul-level peace and joy with life will continue to radiate.

And the next time you look in the mirror, don't feel too fussed about the state of your hair or makeup.  Instead, ask yourself if you look happy, rested, peaceful and content.

I hope your answer will usually be yes.

One of the things Amy promised you, our dear 000Relationships readers, is my perspective on what makes women irresistible.  It's an interesting topic, because there are so many ways for a woman to be irresistible: in physical, emotional, and sometimes just intangible ways.  Then there are the innervating ways that women can just be plain…well, RE-sistable!  So I've gone through my conversations with guys, married and unmarried, and come up with a list of female attributes we like–and hate.  I hope this gives you a better understanding of what men find irresistible, which is quite often a balanced personality and lifestyle.  Enjoy!

Attitude

LIKE:

DON'T LIKE:

Humor

LIKE:

NOT FUNNY!:

Careers 

LIKE:

NOT GONNA "WORK" OUT!:

Emotions

LIKE:

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

HATE!!!:

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

Hobbies

LIKE: 

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

DON'T LIKE, DON'T BOTHER WITH:

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

Intelligence

LIKE:

THE SMART THING TO DO IS MOVE ON!:

Sense of Adventure

LIKE:

LOVE!:

CAN'T FRIGGIN' STAND!:

Money

LIKE:

I WANT A REFUND!:

Long-term relationships

LIKE:

FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER MAN!:

Appearances and Diet 

LIKE:

NEXT!:

Sex

LIKE:

DON'T WANNA GO NEAR:

Travel

LIKE:

ADIOS!:

Trust

LIKE:

SAYONARA!:

Arguments

LIKE:

SHOOT ME NOW!:

Hope you enjoyed this!  Remember, every man is different.  Some will want more of a caring, motherly type; and some men just love bitches (just check out Sheryl Argov's book, "Why Men Love Bitches!").  But all in all, I'm of the opinion that everything in life comes down to BALANCE, the shades of grey wedged between the extremes of black and white.  The successful couples I know, are well-balanced.  While either extreme may seem good on paper, it's usually the woman who's average just like him, that the average guy will go for.

See you next week!

A male voice on a women's blog…I'm flattered!  But as a member of the 000 Relationships team, I guess it *is* my job.  Still, it is always nice to receive a wonderful welcome from the inimitable Amy Waterman.  I'm sure South America will deliver PLENTY of great "research" for our one and only female expert!

ANYway, hello and welcome! I am indeed James, and I am thrilled to be a part of Triple 0 Relationships.  Like Amy said, I've been single, I've been through relationships–some good, some bad–and now, finally, I'm engaged.  The marriage part awaits!  Knowing you women, THAT will be an experience unlike any other! 🙂 

And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.  Delving into the secret world of pick-up artists, relationship experts, and dating in general, has all been lots of fun and, to say the least, illuminating.  But what's really the most interesting part of my research is not finding out what guys think–I think that's pretty self-explanatory–but what GIRLS think.  There's just no limit to what one can learn!  I have to say that in all my encounters with women, whether in a relationship or just through work and friends, I've always come away with something.  It's just part of the way women work, isn't it?  You always have something to teach us.  Never a dull moment, and that's what makes the world of women so mystifying, so exciting for us guys.  You can hang out with guys and things will always seem the same.  But add a girl…and voila!  Change, excitement, passion, GROWTH.  In the case of the girl I'm presently engaged to, I've come away with some real, undeniable personal growth, which I expect to only get better. 

So, in that same vein, I hope YOU come away with something from what *I* have to say, as well.  Stay tuned!

I have to admit … I'm the giggly happy girl day-dreaming today. 🙂

I had a second date last night.   And my … what a second date it was.  A long walk along the beach, watching the sunset, holding hands, styrofoam cups of coffee finished off by a romantic Indian dinner for two.

It has been all the more fantastic for being unexpected.  I didn't think I would like the fellow at all.  We'd been chatting online for about a month, and when we talked on the phone for the first time last weekend we annoyed one another.  I thought he was arrogant; he thought I was rude.  I was ready to throw the towel in and not meet up, but he thought we should give it a go.  We had been chatting for so long, after all.

Thank goodness for that.

Sometimes the unexpected creates the most beautiful results.  I hadn't been expecting much from him; he hadn't been expecting much from me.  And as a result, what we found was something better than either of our expectations.  A connection.  A shared sense of humor.  Pleasure in one another's company.

I believe that one of the reasons that unexpected encounters yield such wonderful relationships is precisely because we have no expectations.  Neither of us has to live up to anything.  I accept him as he is; he accepts me as I am.  There's no pressure to be perfect or to not slip up.

When there are no expectations, we can simply be ourselves around one another.  We have the choice to like one another as we are or leave without guilt.  He doesn't have to like me any more than I have to like him.

And in this magical climate of no expectations, no pressure, and no pretending to be any better a person than we actually were, we looked at each other and liked what we saw.

Isn't that fantastic?

Is time running out for us?

So many women I talk to, no matter how young they are, have the sense of a ticking hourglass.  They feel, deep inside, that if they don't find the right man soon to marry and settle down, the bloom of their youth will have passed and all the single men will have been taken.

It is such a deep rooted fear for all of us.  In the most primal regions of our hearts, we believe that we will die if we don't find love.

It is only very recent in human history that men and women have been able to live alone.  In indigenous societies, complementary male and female roles are vital for survival.  Without a man to hunt, there is no food.  Without a woman to tend to the home, there is no safe place to return to.  A woman with no man has to rely on the goodwill of others to survive.

Even though we now eat take-out instead of deer, come home to houses instead of shelters, and wash our clothes with machines instead of river rocks, we are not that far removed from our ancestors.  Thousands of years of human history cannot be overwritten in a few generations.  We were meant to pair up.  It is such a strong conviction that mere sexual need cannot explain it.

For most of us today, marriage is a choice.  We make a living on our own without much difficulty.  We don't need men.  As a result, we can afford to be picky.  We can afford to wait until the perfect partner comes along.

Yet we still feel that ticking clock.  We feel the need to find love and partner with someone.  Even though marriage is a choice, even though the divorce rates are sky-high, we STILL get married in overwhelming numbers.  Most of us will marry at least once during our lifetime.

We need marriage.  Though some believe that marriage is merely a way to rein in promiscuous behavior and control reproduction, it is too widespread as a human behavior (in nearly all societies across history) to be merely a method of social control.

Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love You Want, believes that marriage has a crucial part to play in modern society.  Through marriage, he believes, we heal one another.  No other relationship teaches us so much about ourselves and being better human beings.  Commitment is not constriction or constraint: rather, it disciplines us to resolve our conflicts, express ourselves freely without fear of rejection, and increases intimacy beyond what is possible in a de facto relationship.

As much as we'd like to believe that we can live without men, we know we can't.  Masculine energy balances us.  Men need us to love them; we need them to love.

One of men's deep-seated fears is that women will decide they no longer need men.  Men cannot survive without women.  In fact, marriage is so healthy for men that they will live longer, stay healthier, and even earn more money as a husband than as a bachelor.

Men adore women who fully and warm-heartedly admit that they need men.  Although "needy" has become a dirty word, too many of us are tempted to the other extreme.  We try to be so independent that we don't leave the smallest space for a man in our lives.  When we do date, we suppress our needs so that we appear as un-needy as possible.  As a result, the men in our lives feel emasculated.  They feel that they can do nothing for us that we can't do for ourselves.  In many cases, they end up leaving us for a woman who is much more childlike and needy for his affections.

Can you admit to yourself that you need men without feeling ashamed or embarrassed?  I am not asking you to admit that you need "a man" — just that you need men.  It's not hard.  Yet it's amazing how that admission brings such a feeling of shame to the modern woman.

I love men.  I love them as friends and colleagues, as boys and old men, as strangers and lovers.  I am glad that men share our world with us.  Aren't you?

A friend recently sent me five simple rules to be happy, and I found them so beautiful that I wanted to share them with you.

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Although these five rules are simple, they can be so difficult to practice.  Take the first rule: to free your heart from hatred.

It can be so hard to release the angry feelings we have when someone we've cared about treats us badly or rejects us rudely.  I know so many women who hang on to angry feelings about their ex-partners.  Every time dates are discussed, the old stories are brought out: reasons not to trust men, the shortcomings all men have, and why being single is better than risking getting hurt again.

By being unable to forgive and let go, these women end up blaming or being suspicious of all men.  In their hearts, they've judged the male race and found them guilty.  Yet buried beneath that hatred is a part of them that wishes their judgment wasn't true: a part of them that longs for harmony and intimacy.

Alison Armstrong from PAX Programs teaches a seminar called Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women.  In the seminars, women are asked to make a vow.  No more men-bashing.  No more generalizing about all men on the basis of a few individuals.  No more making sweeping assumptions about "all men."  No more treating men as the enemy.

A friend of mine who frequently attends the PAX seminars told me that the vow is oddly liberating, yet challenging.  She said that she never realized until that day how often she spoke negatively about men.

Think about it.  How often have you said one of the following?

"Men don't have a clue what we women do for them."
"Women have to do everything for men; they're incapable of taking care of themselves."
"All men want is sex."
"Guys are just looking for a good time; they don't care about who they hurt in the process."
"Men are so stupid sometimes."
"Why can't men be more like women?"

When you prepare your heart for happiness, the first step you need to take is to free your heart of all lingering negativity towards men.

Forgive your exes.  No matter what they did to you, it is in the past.  Don't allow them to continue to damage your life by leaving you with a lingering suspicion or distrust of men.  Realize that your exes were simply human; like all humans, men and women alike, they made mistakes.  Forgive them and let it go.

Consider attending one of Alison Armstrong's seminars.  If you can't attend, then at the very least make a promise to yourself: you will stop men-bashing.  Even if a group of your female friends start talking about the 101 ways in which men fall short of perfection, make a vow to yourself that you won't join in.  Men aren't perfect, but neither are women.

As you learn to enjoy the company of men, appreciating the ways in which they are different from women, not holding a grudge against any man, you'll find that something incredible happens.  Men will start seeking out your company.  You'll find strange men striking up conversations with you.  Men can tell when they're in the presence of a woman who loves and appreciates men.  In fact, it's one of the most attractive traits women can have.

And if it makes you happier, why not give it a try? 

Today while I was at the gym, I was suddenly struck with amusement at the thought of how an outsider to our culture would see this.  Here is a room full of scantily attired people puffing and sweating as they work energetically to move plates of metal and run on spinning belts that take them nowhere.  I could just imagine a newcomer to Planet Earth stopping the nearest treadmill runner and asking them, "Don't you realize that you're going nowhere?"

Of course, the point of running on a treadmill isn't to get somewhere.  It's to improve fitness so that we stay healthy despite sedentary lives.

In some ways, I think that studying relationships and dating is a lot like running on a treadmill.  We can learn tons and tons about how to be more attractive, how to carry on a perfect conversation, and how to keep a relationship's fire burning, but we end up in the same place that we started: still single.

"But all these dating books and seminars and experts were supposed to get me a boyfriend!" comes the protest.

But learning about dating and relationships in isolation is just like running on the treadmill at the gym.  Unless you are out and about in real life, actually practicing what you've learned, you are not going to get anywhere.

That doesn't mean that all your research and study is going to waste.  Just as people have to go to school to become doctors or lawyers, so you are learning relationship skills that will serve you well in your future relationships.

I think that it's unfortunate that relationship skills are not taught in school; such skills are just as important for future happiness and success—if not more so—than knowing math and English.

Learn as much as you can about attraction, dating, and relationships, but realize that doing so won't automatically "get" you a man.  That isn't the point, anymore than running on a treadmill will help you reach a destination.

Instead, learn about dating and relationships to become a more fulfilled, healthy, and loving individual.  Do it to become irresistibly attractive in body, mind, and spirit.

But be careful to remember that such attractiveness is dependent on what you invest in yourself for your own sake, not for the sake of a man you hope to attract.

True attractiveness blooms naturally from a woman who is fulfilled, healthy, and loving for her own sake—not for the sake of a man.

So if you feel that sometimes you're spinning your wheels and getting nowhere, just remember that you are making progress.  You're investing in your own emotional fitness.

Like most women, I always thought that becoming more attractive to men was about improving my appearance.  As a teenager I was desperate to lose weight, get the perfect haircut, and wear the styles in the latest magazines.  I wanted boys to pay attention to me, and I knew that the girls to whom they DID pay attention had obvious physical assets.  It wasn't about being smart or interesting or nice: it was about looks.

What I didn't know then is that most boys grow up.  The hormone-driven stage of youth, made anxious by popularity and social validation, creates entirely different creatures than the mature workplace of later years.

Luckily for women, most men seek entirely different characteristics than boys.  They learn to appreciate emotional warmth, depth, and generous loving.  Although they still turn their heads to watch beautiful women pass, they're mature enough to appreciate a beautiful form without having to possess it.

Not all men grow up, of course. 😉  We all know playboys at the age of 40 who haven't yet learned the pleasure of settling down with one woman.   Those men still tend to be attracted to looks, seeking out what is new, different, and unobtainable.

Yet instead of realizing that immature men are the exception, not the rule, many of us women remain stuck in the high school mentality, believing that ALL men—not just the immature ones—seek nothing more than a pretty face.  We believe that we must dress sexy, look sexy, and act sexy for men to feel attracted to us.  And when our bodies rebel (as not all of us were made to look like models) we bury our heads in despair.  We think that we'll never be able to attract men.

Guess what?  The good news is that although you may be unable to attract immature men (who are focused on superficial appearances above all things) you may be just what a mature man is looking for.

Mature men seek women who are fun to be with, around whom they feel they can be themselves.  The mature man realizes that if he is going to spend the rest of his life with a woman, he needs to have more discerning criteria than good looks.  A woman who is in touch with her body, even though it isn't perfect, is preferable to a woman who goes into hysterics if her hair or clothes aren't perfect.  A woman who is uninhibited, passionate, and loves life is preferable to an aloof, cool woman who lives life on display.

For the man who looks beneath the surface, a woman is an entire package: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.  He must fall in love with all of those parts before he'll invite her to spend a lifetime with him.  What this means for us is that developing ourselves mentally, spiritually, and emotionally is just as important as perfecting our appearance.  What we look like is just a quarter of the entire package.

Best of all, if you start focusing on developing yourself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, you'll find that you reap enormous personal benefits.  Your life will be happier.  You'll feel more content.  You may even find that male attention seems less important to you.

So the next time that you feel overlooked because of your appearance, or you're having an "ugly" day, just put on your most beautiful smile and realize that the only men who'll be ignoring you are the ones you don't want anyway. 

When I first started working at 000Relationships.com, I wondered who the women were who wrote in to thank Sarah Paul (author of "How to Be Irresistible to Men") from all over the world.  Were they teenagers wanting to have greater success with boys?  Were they women in their thirties getting ready to marry?  Or were they like my female friends: lovely, intelligent women of all ages and ethnicities who wanted to understand their relationship with men better?

Before I came to 000Relationships.com, I finished a master's degree in writing in the UK.  I'd spent my last summer there living in a flat with an English friend, Eve.  Eve was a mother, university student, and recent divorcé.  Mid-life, she was starting over again.  Yet instead of feeling filled with fear for being on her own for the first time since she was a teenager, Eve embraced her new life.  She tackled classes with the same youthful spirit she employed playing with her children.  She dated, went clubbing, started the gym, and worked with the elderly in her spare time.

The sheer amount of activity in her life staggered me.  I'd established a simple habit of working on my thesis, working out, and seeing friends, and that was enough for me.  But Eve met men everywhere: on her routes, at clubs, on the net.  Her bubbly, vivacious attitude warmed men tired of rejection on the clubbing circuit.  They could always count on Eve's laughter and smile.

I learned so much that summer about men and about the power of a positive attitude.  Even though Eve faced greater challenges than I did, she kept a positive outlook in public and let her joy radiate outwards even when inside she was feeling sorrowful.  I knew that her divorce and being away from her children while at university was difficult for her, but she never let that be an excuse to doubt her life or the importance of what she was doing.  She reached out to all of us in love and kept her anger at the divorce firmly directed at the person who was responsible for it, not at life in general.

Over the past year at 000Relationships.com, I learned that many of the women wanting more information on how to have better relationships and attract the right men were not teeny-boppers or inexperienced.  They were women like Eve.

Amazing, incredible women.

Women who knew that being good at relationships is not a skill we are born with.

Women who knew that the path to excellence in anything, including relationships, is research, practice, and living the message.

These women had had long-term relationships before, and this time around they wanted to know how to do it right. They had so much love to give men, if they could only get over the shields and defenses they'd built up from previous rejections.

I have a message for all those women out there who turn to us or to other relationship experts seeking the magic key to love.

There is hope.  Never ever believe there's not hope.  Happiness lies ahead for you, if you can only quiet that nagging voice inside that tells you to doubt.  That voice is wrong.  Don't doubt.  Believe in yourself.  Believe in your potential for happiness.

Women have found the man of their dreams at 17, at 29, at 44 or 75.  There is no age cut-off date for love.

There are so many men dreaming of love right now, just as you are dreaming of love.  They want you to love them as much as you want them to love you.  If you can learn to give the men in your life love right now (friends, family members, the bus driver, the postman, even strangers!), then love will be given back to you in abundance, as much as you ever dreamed of.

That's a law of the universe.  What you give is what you shall receive.  A person who is stingy with love (which I know you are not) will find that love rarely knocks on their door.

Have faith, hope, and love.  No matter what your situation, how old you are, how much time you have, there is always a door in your heart on which love can come knocking.