Whew … what a day at 000Relationships.com!  We finally launched the 2006 Edition of "How to Be Irresistible to Men."  I've put my heart and soul into it, and I truly believe that today marks the day when women are finally going to have the chance to take a course that respects them as women, that empowers them, and that achieves more than just getting men to dance at their heels – a course that teaches women to get the kind of love they've always dreamed about.

After working with Sarah for the past six months, I've seen women being happiest when they've found a man who really loves them for who they are inside, at the soul level.  It can be fun to play the dating game and learn how to press men's buttons.  They're so easy to infatuate!  But ultimately, knowing how to get a man trailing after you feels like a hollow sort of victory.  What I want, and what I think so many of us want, is the kind of great love that endures time and tests.  Being able to conquer a playboy is fun but not really satisfying for me.  I want to be a gray-haired lady someday with my gray-haired husband, both of us swinging in a rocking chair and watching the sunset.

The problem is that most dating & seduction courses will teach you the basics of flirting, dressing, and being "light and breezy" to attract a man.  Of course those things attract men!  But what happens if you want more than that?  What if you want to attract higher quality men, the kind of men who know the game is played and won't have any of it?  What if you want to re-ignite the fire between you and the partner you currently have?  All the first date advice in the world won't help you that much!

That's why we created the 2006 Edition of "How to Be Irresistible to Men," available now at www.000relationships.com/tomen.  It's a 2-hour video course, broken into 12 lessons on important topics that will utterly transform how you look at relationships.  I'm so proud of the workbook, too, that I wrote to accompany the lessons.  It's got reviews of the key concepts, exercises, and recommended reading lists.

Honestly, this stuff could change your life.  Even if you've bought all the other e-books out there on dating and relationships, you've just scratched the surface.  I'm amazed at what we managed to create.

So go ahead!  Check it out!  The wonderful thing is that we're able to offer a 60-day no-questions-asked moneyback guarantee, so even if you think that it's not something you'd really be interested in, give it a try!  If it doesn't transform your thinking on dating and relationships, email me.  I'll give you a refund immediately.

I just really, really want every woman out there who can try this course to do so.  We need more love in the world!  We women deserve more than relationships where we have to play games to feel like we've earned male attention.  We deserve to be happy with men who truly love us, and that's what my course will teach you to get.

So thanks for supporting us here at 000Relationships.com through this long "birthing" process of the new edition, and don't forget to check it out!   Again, it's at:

www.000relationships.com/tomen

One of the things Amy promised you, our dear 000Relationships readers, is my perspective on what makes women irresistible.  It's an interesting topic, because there are so many ways for a woman to be irresistible: in physical, emotional, and sometimes just intangible ways.  Then there are the innervating ways that women can just be plain…well, RE-sistable!  So I've gone through my conversations with guys, married and unmarried, and come up with a list of female attributes we like–and hate.  I hope this gives you a better understanding of what men find irresistible, which is quite often a balanced personality and lifestyle.  Enjoy!

Attitude

LIKE:

DON'T LIKE:

Humor

LIKE:

NOT FUNNY!:

Careers 

LIKE:

NOT GONNA "WORK" OUT!:

Emotions

LIKE:

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

HATE!!!:

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

Hobbies

LIKE: 

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

DON'T LIKE, DON'T BOTHER WITH:

ON THE FLIP SIDE…

Intelligence

LIKE:

THE SMART THING TO DO IS MOVE ON!:

Sense of Adventure

LIKE:

LOVE!:

CAN'T FRIGGIN' STAND!:

Money

LIKE:

I WANT A REFUND!:

Long-term relationships

LIKE:

FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER MAN!:

Appearances and Diet 

LIKE:

NEXT!:

Sex

LIKE:

DON'T WANNA GO NEAR:

Travel

LIKE:

ADIOS!:

Trust

LIKE:

SAYONARA!:

Arguments

LIKE:

SHOOT ME NOW!:

Hope you enjoyed this!  Remember, every man is different.  Some will want more of a caring, motherly type; and some men just love bitches (just check out Sheryl Argov's book, "Why Men Love Bitches!").  But all in all, I'm of the opinion that everything in life comes down to BALANCE, the shades of grey wedged between the extremes of black and white.  The successful couples I know, are well-balanced.  While either extreme may seem good on paper, it's usually the woman who's average just like him, that the average guy will go for.

See you next week!

A male voice on a women's blog…I'm flattered!  But as a member of the 000 Relationships team, I guess it *is* my job.  Still, it is always nice to receive a wonderful welcome from the inimitable Amy Waterman.  I'm sure South America will deliver PLENTY of great "research" for our one and only female expert!

ANYway, hello and welcome! I am indeed James, and I am thrilled to be a part of Triple 0 Relationships.  Like Amy said, I've been single, I've been through relationships–some good, some bad–and now, finally, I'm engaged.  The marriage part awaits!  Knowing you women, THAT will be an experience unlike any other! 🙂 

And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.  Delving into the secret world of pick-up artists, relationship experts, and dating in general, has all been lots of fun and, to say the least, illuminating.  But what's really the most interesting part of my research is not finding out what guys think–I think that's pretty self-explanatory–but what GIRLS think.  There's just no limit to what one can learn!  I have to say that in all my encounters with women, whether in a relationship or just through work and friends, I've always come away with something.  It's just part of the way women work, isn't it?  You always have something to teach us.  Never a dull moment, and that's what makes the world of women so mystifying, so exciting for us guys.  You can hang out with guys and things will always seem the same.  But add a girl…and voila!  Change, excitement, passion, GROWTH.  In the case of the girl I'm presently engaged to, I've come away with some real, undeniable personal growth, which I expect to only get better. 

So, in that same vein, I hope YOU come away with something from what *I* have to say, as well.  Stay tuned!

Today while I was at the gym, I was suddenly struck with amusement at the thought of how an outsider to our culture would see this.  Here is a room full of scantily attired people puffing and sweating as they work energetically to move plates of metal and run on spinning belts that take them nowhere.  I could just imagine a newcomer to Planet Earth stopping the nearest treadmill runner and asking them, "Don't you realize that you're going nowhere?"

Of course, the point of running on a treadmill isn't to get somewhere.  It's to improve fitness so that we stay healthy despite sedentary lives.

In some ways, I think that studying relationships and dating is a lot like running on a treadmill.  We can learn tons and tons about how to be more attractive, how to carry on a perfect conversation, and how to keep a relationship's fire burning, but we end up in the same place that we started: still single.

"But all these dating books and seminars and experts were supposed to get me a boyfriend!" comes the protest.

But learning about dating and relationships in isolation is just like running on the treadmill at the gym.  Unless you are out and about in real life, actually practicing what you've learned, you are not going to get anywhere.

That doesn't mean that all your research and study is going to waste.  Just as people have to go to school to become doctors or lawyers, so you are learning relationship skills that will serve you well in your future relationships.

I think that it's unfortunate that relationship skills are not taught in school; such skills are just as important for future happiness and success—if not more so—than knowing math and English.

Learn as much as you can about attraction, dating, and relationships, but realize that doing so won't automatically "get" you a man.  That isn't the point, anymore than running on a treadmill will help you reach a destination.

Instead, learn about dating and relationships to become a more fulfilled, healthy, and loving individual.  Do it to become irresistibly attractive in body, mind, and spirit.

But be careful to remember that such attractiveness is dependent on what you invest in yourself for your own sake, not for the sake of a man you hope to attract.

True attractiveness blooms naturally from a woman who is fulfilled, healthy, and loving for her own sake—not for the sake of a man.

So if you feel that sometimes you're spinning your wheels and getting nowhere, just remember that you are making progress.  You're investing in your own emotional fitness.

Like most women, I always thought that becoming more attractive to men was about improving my appearance.  As a teenager I was desperate to lose weight, get the perfect haircut, and wear the styles in the latest magazines.  I wanted boys to pay attention to me, and I knew that the girls to whom they DID pay attention had obvious physical assets.  It wasn't about being smart or interesting or nice: it was about looks.

What I didn't know then is that most boys grow up.  The hormone-driven stage of youth, made anxious by popularity and social validation, creates entirely different creatures than the mature workplace of later years.

Luckily for women, most men seek entirely different characteristics than boys.  They learn to appreciate emotional warmth, depth, and generous loving.  Although they still turn their heads to watch beautiful women pass, they're mature enough to appreciate a beautiful form without having to possess it.

Not all men grow up, of course. 😉  We all know playboys at the age of 40 who haven't yet learned the pleasure of settling down with one woman.   Those men still tend to be attracted to looks, seeking out what is new, different, and unobtainable.

Yet instead of realizing that immature men are the exception, not the rule, many of us women remain stuck in the high school mentality, believing that ALL men—not just the immature ones—seek nothing more than a pretty face.  We believe that we must dress sexy, look sexy, and act sexy for men to feel attracted to us.  And when our bodies rebel (as not all of us were made to look like models) we bury our heads in despair.  We think that we'll never be able to attract men.

Guess what?  The good news is that although you may be unable to attract immature men (who are focused on superficial appearances above all things) you may be just what a mature man is looking for.

Mature men seek women who are fun to be with, around whom they feel they can be themselves.  The mature man realizes that if he is going to spend the rest of his life with a woman, he needs to have more discerning criteria than good looks.  A woman who is in touch with her body, even though it isn't perfect, is preferable to a woman who goes into hysterics if her hair or clothes aren't perfect.  A woman who is uninhibited, passionate, and loves life is preferable to an aloof, cool woman who lives life on display.

For the man who looks beneath the surface, a woman is an entire package: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.  He must fall in love with all of those parts before he'll invite her to spend a lifetime with him.  What this means for us is that developing ourselves mentally, spiritually, and emotionally is just as important as perfecting our appearance.  What we look like is just a quarter of the entire package.

Best of all, if you start focusing on developing yourself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, you'll find that you reap enormous personal benefits.  Your life will be happier.  You'll feel more content.  You may even find that male attention seems less important to you.

So the next time that you feel overlooked because of your appearance, or you're having an "ugly" day, just put on your most beautiful smile and realize that the only men who'll be ignoring you are the ones you don't want anyway. 

When I first started working at 000Relationships.com, I wondered who the women were who wrote in to thank Sarah Paul (author of "How to Be Irresistible to Men") from all over the world.  Were they teenagers wanting to have greater success with boys?  Were they women in their thirties getting ready to marry?  Or were they like my female friends: lovely, intelligent women of all ages and ethnicities who wanted to understand their relationship with men better?

Before I came to 000Relationships.com, I finished a master's degree in writing in the UK.  I'd spent my last summer there living in a flat with an English friend, Eve.  Eve was a mother, university student, and recent divorcé.  Mid-life, she was starting over again.  Yet instead of feeling filled with fear for being on her own for the first time since she was a teenager, Eve embraced her new life.  She tackled classes with the same youthful spirit she employed playing with her children.  She dated, went clubbing, started the gym, and worked with the elderly in her spare time.

The sheer amount of activity in her life staggered me.  I'd established a simple habit of working on my thesis, working out, and seeing friends, and that was enough for me.  But Eve met men everywhere: on her routes, at clubs, on the net.  Her bubbly, vivacious attitude warmed men tired of rejection on the clubbing circuit.  They could always count on Eve's laughter and smile.

I learned so much that summer about men and about the power of a positive attitude.  Even though Eve faced greater challenges than I did, she kept a positive outlook in public and let her joy radiate outwards even when inside she was feeling sorrowful.  I knew that her divorce and being away from her children while at university was difficult for her, but she never let that be an excuse to doubt her life or the importance of what she was doing.  She reached out to all of us in love and kept her anger at the divorce firmly directed at the person who was responsible for it, not at life in general.

Over the past year at 000Relationships.com, I learned that many of the women wanting more information on how to have better relationships and attract the right men were not teeny-boppers or inexperienced.  They were women like Eve.

Amazing, incredible women.

Women who knew that being good at relationships is not a skill we are born with.

Women who knew that the path to excellence in anything, including relationships, is research, practice, and living the message.

These women had had long-term relationships before, and this time around they wanted to know how to do it right. They had so much love to give men, if they could only get over the shields and defenses they'd built up from previous rejections.

I have a message for all those women out there who turn to us or to other relationship experts seeking the magic key to love.

There is hope.  Never ever believe there's not hope.  Happiness lies ahead for you, if you can only quiet that nagging voice inside that tells you to doubt.  That voice is wrong.  Don't doubt.  Believe in yourself.  Believe in your potential for happiness.

Women have found the man of their dreams at 17, at 29, at 44 or 75.  There is no age cut-off date for love.

There are so many men dreaming of love right now, just as you are dreaming of love.  They want you to love them as much as you want them to love you.  If you can learn to give the men in your life love right now (friends, family members, the bus driver, the postman, even strangers!), then love will be given back to you in abundance, as much as you ever dreamed of.

That's a law of the universe.  What you give is what you shall receive.  A person who is stingy with love (which I know you are not) will find that love rarely knocks on their door.

Have faith, hope, and love.  No matter what your situation, how old you are, how much time you have, there is always a door in your heart on which love can come knocking.  

When most of us go out on the town, we dress to entice.  We can spend ages selecting the perfect outfit to express ourselves.  Ultimately we end up with something stylish, sexy, and well-fitting.

From a young age, we're taught to dress in a way that makes ourselves look more attractive.  In fact, that's the purpose of clothes, isn't it?  Not just to keep us covered, not just to keep us warm, but to enhance our best features and make us look more appealing to men.

For years, I believed that only three choices were available to me: dress comfortably, dress professionally, or dress sexy.  I dressed comfortably at home.  I dressed professionally at work.  And when I went out, I dressed sexy.

It wasn't until I began to research the male pickup artist scene for a seminar talk that I realized I was missing out entirely on another category.

Dress to be noticed.

This isn't the same as dressing sexy.  Men will notice and feel attracted to a woman who enhances her curves and femininity with the right clothes.  But they will also notice women who play into different fantasies.

Women who dress goth.
Women who dress like prim and proper librarians.
Women who dress like schoolgirls.
Women who dress in Victorian gowns.

Not normal daywear, right?  But that's precisely the reason it stands out.

In the male pickup community, a pickup artist named Mystery pioneered a concept called peacocking. Just as a male peacock attracts attention by its garish fan of luminescent feathers, so a pickup artist will dress in garish, even tacky fashions to draw attention.  Think of platform boots, wigs, fake noserings, leather pants, gaudy shirts.  Think rock star fashion.

It's amazing how many people assume that a man wearing such outrageous fashions must be famous.  At the very least, people are intrigued.  They want to know more about him.  And that's one way the pickup artist attracts so many women.  Women are fascinated by the individual who's not dressed like everyone else in the club.

When I first heard the concept, I was stunned.  So it's not about being attractive?  The most important thing isn't looking good? 

Peacocking works for men.  It's been proven by pickup artists around the world.  The real question for me was: would it work for women? 

So I put it to the test.

I bought a pair of handcuffs and some knee-high black boots.  The first day, I pulled my hair back in a tight ponytail and wore the black boots, a pin-striped miniskirt, a black turtleneck, and the handcuffs clipped on the belt loops so that they'd dangle on my hip.

I got stared at.

I don't think I've ever been checked out that much in one day.

The next day, I wore skinny jeans tucked into the boots with a tight black t-shirt and the handcuffs again clipped on the belt loops.

Fewer stares, but more than a few comments in the hallways of my office building.

Does peacocking work for women?  From my brief experiment, it seems that it might.

Would you help me test this theory?  Try going out one weekend in something that you'd ordinarily never think of wearing.  Think of it like wearing a costume.  Try tight tank tops with camouflage trousers, or horn-rimmed glasses with a figure-revealing turtleneck and hair in a bun.  Pick a male fantasy and play into it.  Be fun and playful, and see what happens.

It might just start a trend. 

This weekend, I went to a "singles mingle" at a local bar known as The Grumpy Mole.  Now, the Grumpy Mole is notorious for being a meat market. It's decorated in a Wild West theme, with a stage at the far end that had played host to nude hot tub parties during the biggest singles bashes of the previous year.

This night, however, word about the "singles mingle" must not have gotten out. Despite being nearly midnight, the bar wasn't happening yet. The men and women milling about were older than the usual late teens/early twenties crowd that usually occupied the place. They nursed drinks, hunched their shoulders, and lifted their heads only to see who else was there.

I'm not sure whether it is the city or the culture, but slumping seems to be a national pasttime. I glanced across the bar and saw no one holding their body proudly. Heads were bent down. Shoulders were rounded. People kept their arms close to their sides. No one looked excited. Everyone looked, well, embarrassed to be there.

I noticed one girl in particular. She was wearing black hot pants and a wrap-around bra. Though she had a curvy figures, she held her drink closely to her chest and hunched her shoulders. With an outfit like that, she should have been displaying her curves with a chest-up bottom-out "look at me" stance. Instead, she simply looked uncomfortable and hopeful.

Conclusion? Keep your spine straight, throw your shoulders back, and look up for the world to see. Look at the mirror. Do you have a proud body? Don't keep your elbows close to your sides; let them relax. Gesture animatedly. Keep your head up.

Be the girl that men can tell at an instant has confidence in herself and loves who she is.