As a relationships expert, I see relationships like poker.  Some guys can just never get the winning cards, and blame themselves for it.  "I’m too short."  "She’s too gorgeous." "A girl like her wouldn’t go out with a guy like me."   Their problems are entirely about what they DON’T have, the cards they CAN’T get.  Like an impatient poker player, or one who bets his life savings on a three-pair, THEY are their own worst enemies.  But they appreciate a good hand, so all they really need is to learn is how to be a better player.

Then there are guys like Dan.  Players who have all the hand they want, but can’t appreciate it.  The only thing they lack is the ability to be happy with the hand they’re dealt.  Such is the situation with Dan.

A little background: Dan is my good-looking cousin.  He’s smart.  He’s funny.  He has lots of girls interested in him.  If he wanted to, he could be married right now.  Could have been four years ago, really.

But Dan doesn’t want marriage; he doesn’t even want a steady relationship.  The big issue is, He finds faults in EVERYONE.  One’s too short, one’s too tall; one’s too skinny, one’s too fat.  He’s never impressed! 

Now, I’ve met some of his past girlfriends, and man, I think any guy would be happy to date some of them!  One of them was a nice, dark Indian girl with a dynamite body.  This girl was quite intelligent, and pretty easy to talk to–never an easy thing to find in NYC.  One of the biggest complaints guys in NY have of their girlfriends is that they don’t talk enough, or don’t talk to their guy friends enough.  His problem with her: She talked TOO MUCH!  Another promising relationship, passed away like four aces.

Another common complaint in NYC is that the girls are much too busy, too career-oriented.  So Dan meets this nice Mexican chick who has a career but is basically willing to throw it all away to be with him.  She’s beautiful, she has a nice body–she’s pretty much the type of girl a guy interested in marriage would want.  But of course, this is Dan.  Dan is 30, definitely of marrying age.  His beef with her?  She’s too nice. 

TOO NICE?!?, I think.  Yeah, that can be annoying if she’s just nice and has no substance, but this girl can cook, can talk advanced subjects, and is a joy to be around.  She’s too friggin’ nice?!?

I guess some guys, no matter what hand they’re dealt, will always be upset with the deck.  You can hand a guy a royal flush, but if he’d just as soon rather be playing blackjack, what can you do?

Whether it’s poker or relationships, sometimes the best skill you can possibly have is to just be happy with what you’ve got.