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The Art of the Approach…to Life

Sunday, July 9, 2006

posted by james

"The Approach" is one of the most popular subjects discussed in the online seduction scene.  It’s no wonder: How well you approach a girl, especially one you really like, will make or break the rest of the relationship.  In fact, a relationship doesn’t exist if you don’t know how to talk to a girl from the very beginning.  You can be the best guy in the world, a guy girls can only dream of—but if you don’t know how to make an impact and create a memorable impression, well, you’ll never talk to anyone. 

But there’s another approach that’s not discussed nearly as much by relationship experts and bloggers, and yet it’s just as important–maybe more important–as the step-by-step process of talking to a chick.  I’m talking about your approach to life–your mental handle on what comes your way, good or bad.  Because if you don’t know how to deal with rejection, anger, feelings of inferiority–all those negative feelings we all get at one stage or another–then your chances of dealing with women are going to be, well, nil.

Let me ask you something: What do you do when a woman doesn’t want to talk to you?  Do you go back to your friends, bitch about what a cow that girl was, what a crap bar this is, sulk all night?  Do you send out negative vibes to people, so they don’t even want to talk to you because you’re so pessimistic?  Do you vow never to talk to girls again?

Or do you take rejection in stride?  Do you look at the girl as a challenge, at acceptance as something that wasn’t meant to be?  Do you see the bright side in not talking to the girl, as an open door to talking to someone better?  Do you tell yourself, "Hey, it’s okay, her loss" and move on to the next girl, talking to her with energy and positivity?

Believe me, the second approach is a lot better than the first.  Not only for yourself personally, but for your chances…women will see a LOT more in someone who’s handled rejection well, who picks himself up and moves on to the next challenge, than in someone who quits, someone who bitches about life.  Girls don’t want quitters, they don’t want guys who air dirty laundry and complain about everything.  Doesn’t matter how good-looking or rich you are; eventually your negative approach to life is gonna cost you. 

What all girls want is a guy who’s determined.  He may have dealt with rejection, may have tasted defeat, even failed a number of times–but it doesn’t get to him.  He plows on.  He BELIEVES IN HIMSELF.  That’s the kind of attitude EVERYONE wants to be around.  It’s a tide that lifts all boats.

Next time you go out, try to present an approach to life that says, "I love a challenge, I love talking to girls, bring it on!"  Watch as your positive vibe is rubs off on people.  I always say, Enthusiasm is contagious, so if you’re making people feel better about themselves and improving thier approach to life, you’re gonna reap the rewards.  Your social network is gonna explode.  Guys are gonna wanna hang out with you, GIRLS are gonna wanna hang out with you.  And when you’ve got friends, even simple acquaintances, you’ve got people who really want to see you succeed.  They’re gonna be on the lookout for you; they’re gonna want to help you find a great woman. 

Give it a shot.  When you’re energetic and cheering people up, people want to hang around you.  GIRLS will want to hang around you; you’ll find you don’t even have to try!  It really can be that easy.

All it depends on is your approach to life.

Now…how are you gonna deal with a challenge?

4 Comments

10

Comment by josh

July 28, 2006 @ 2:40 pm

thanks james. i never quite looked at it this way before. i always just thought of the approach as going up to girls, but i guess if you approach life, the actual approach to girls is easier. huh, interesting. anyway, will try to follow this advice. keep it up!

24

Comment by Alex

July 31, 2006 @ 9:35 am

This was good. I would like a column on how to approach women though. Anyone have any tips on what are some good openings to pick up women at a bar?

36

Comment by Leon

August 2, 2006 @ 2:50 am

James, You are reading my mail. LOL Leon

44

Comment by Xavier

August 3, 2006 @ 2:17 pm

Somehow I doubt that.

Xav

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