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Dating Tips 101

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

posted by james

What makes a good date?  Money?  Romance?  Good conversation?

Those things help, but what ultimately matters is how you make a woman feel.  The feelings, the positive or negative emotions she gets from being around you, are what separate you from success and failure.  And believe me, if you can make her feel great emotions when you’re in her presence, there’s nothing to stop you from seduction and relationship success!

With that said, how do you summon good emotions into your date?  How do you make her associate a positive feeling with YOU?  How do you draw out the emotions that make a woman want to take things to the next level of intimacy and relationships?  The way I see it, there are three factors to success:

1. Where You Take Her

2. How You Present Yourself

3. How You Handle Your Date

Each of these is crucial.  You must not succeed in only one area, but in all of them.  Let’s look at each:

First is where you take your date.  The great thing about dating is that it gives you a chance to use "props" to make yourself look like a winner.  If you take a gorgeous women to a really fun place at which she has the time of her life, it’s not going to matter so much how you look, what you say, or how much money you have.  Bring a woman to a really fun place like a salsa class or theme park, and she’ll connect the positive emotions from those places, automatically, with you.  It’s a wonderful thing.

One key thing to remember is that you want to choose your date location based on the kind of things you want a woman to associate with you.  If you want her to feel excitement and energy, bring her to a carnival or theme park.  If you want her to think of you as intelligent and serious (careful with that one), take her to a play or perhaps a poetry reciting.  And if you have the time and money, and want her to think of you as daring and adventurous, you can’t go wrong with a bungee jumping or white-water rafting date!

Then there are dinner dates.  I discourage dinner dates because unless you’re a gourmand or a chef who has a passion for food, dinner dates don’t say much about you.  On top of that, they can be very expensive and yield no results.  Who wants to spend $200 on a girl only to get nothing out of it?  All she sees out of a guy who takes her out to dinner is someone who’s unoriginal and plays by the book; he’s not a risk-taker.  So try something more daring and engaging.  Something like indoor rock climbing doesn’t cost that much at all, and will yield much better results.

As Leil Lowndes, author of "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You," writes, "someone is more likely to be attracted to another if he or she is emotionally aroused-even if the arousal does not come from the person."

Next, let’s look at how you present yourself.  Now, with this, I’m not talking about how good-looking you are to the woman, but more about how you position yourself: what you say about yourself through your clothes and hygiene.  You can’t expect a date to go well if your clothes look frumpy and your teeth have gunk in them.  But if you wear nice clothes that are clean, ironed, and a bit funky or sophisticated, then you’re communicating to women that you care about your appearances.  You give her the feeling that she’s with a guy who pays attention to appearances and wants to convey success.  A guy who wears a suit does not look trashy or poor.  But a guy who arrives at a date wearing ripped-up jeans and has hair like he just came out of bed…well, how is she supposed to feel anything other than disgust at that one?  What you wear, how you style your hair (even if you’re bald!), and how clean and fresh you come across: these are the things that INSTANTLY create emotions in women.  Make sure you stir up the right emotions!

Finally, let’s talk about how you handle your date.  That is, how do you manage the date as it moves along?  With confidence, the actions that suggest you are of high status, and a bit of cockiness…or with hesitation, treating the date with more respect than yourself, and low confidence?  To me, there are three "checkpoints" in every date:

1. How you greet your date.  Do you act like you’re lucky to see her?  Do you say, "Wow, great to see you, you look beautiful!" or something to that effect?  If so, stop.  That just make a woman think that you feel lucky to be with her.  She doesn’t want to feel like she’s with a guy who’s not good enough for her.  She wants to feel like she’s not good enough to be with YOU.  Doing little things that force her to respect you, like calling her out for being late or simply greeting her with a laid-back, "What’s up?" accomplish that.

2. How you move things along.  Nothing makes a girl more uncomfortable–and lowers her association of things with you–than an awkward pause in the date.  This doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to let things die down a little; it just means that you have to know how to handle these pauses.  In my e-book I discuss a lot about control–how to handle situations and make the most of them.  In a date, you want to be able to go from silence one second to laughter and excitement the next.  There are many ways to do this, including teasing a girl about something or bringing up something interesting she said earlier (showing her that you listen to what she says, which makes her feel valued).

3. How you end it and set things up for next time.  Do you end a date leaving a girl wanting more?  Do you reveal everything about yourself in the first (or second or third) date, or make her curious for next time?  Do you seek validation from her…or have her seeking validation from YOU?  These are the things you want to think about…the areas that show you have confidence in seeing her again, and confidence that you can direct her where you want.

Naturally, there’s much more to a date than this.  What do you say?  What specific strategies can you employ to make her interested in more?  What are the very best places to take a date?

Fortunately, there are answers: My How to Be Irresistible to Women course.  Find it now at:

http://www.000relationships.com/towomen/

I’ve got a whole, extensive section on setting up the first date, where to go, and what kinds of actions and attitudes work towards raising the attraction levels to insane levels.  It’s all in there, along with dozens of articles that will help you in the specific areas you want to address.  Not to mention my free Members Consulation, where you can ask me anything you want about how to get the women you want.

Hey, if you’re serious about getting more dates and making them successful ones, you need look no further.  This is the place:

http://www.000relationships.com/towomen/

It’s YOUR turn.

5 Comments

223

Comment by Jeremy

October 17, 2006 @ 1:43 pm

This is a good column. I enjoy your ebook.

225

Comment by Rasputin

October 18, 2006 @ 3:59 pm

I value your posts. It’s good to get guys who say more than the standard lines, who tell things like it is. Props, baby. Props.

289

Comment by Jonathan

October 24, 2006 @ 9:04 am

This is great stuff. I cant wait to use it.

421

Comment by Gabriel

October 31, 2006 @ 9:29 am

I really like these tips, James. They are precise and honest, straitforward. You are really making a difference in my life. Thank you!
~Gabriel

Comment by Darko

January 4, 2007 @ 1:40 pm

I used these tips and had the best night of my life. buying your course right now! You the MAN!

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