As you know, the New Year is a time of resolutions.  Whether it’s to give up bad habits or to develop good ones, 2007 represents an opportunity to become the "you" you always wanted to be.

Who do YOU want to be this year?  What kind of man do YOU want women to see?

• Do you want to be the man who continues to strike out with women…or the man who heads into a bar, club, party or even workplace with a CONFIDENCE in how to interact with them?
• Do you want to fail miserably to get dates with beautiful women…or do you want to get dates with ease, and know how to make every date a special, successful one that always ends on a good note?
• Do you want to be overwhelmed by anxiety and fear when it comes to sex…or learn how to MASTER it, and exude sexuality and competence to even the most gorgeous of babes?
• And finally, do you want to continue DOUBTING yourself and your ability to attract and socialize with women…or do you want to feel like a naturally attractive man who women enjoy being around, and look forward to meeting?

If you’re serious about becoming the "you" you always wanted to be, let "How to Be Irresistible to Women" help.  With expert advice covering every topic from how to overcome shyness and anxiety, to how to give fantastic female orgasms, to what kinds of social skills you need to interact with men and women alike, we cover EVERYTHING that will help you become the "you" you desire.  We even give you a free, personalized e-mail consultation so you get customized solutions to the problems and issues affecting YOU.

If you want to start the New Year out right, with the resources to make sure your resolutions come true, then get started today by clicking on the link below:

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You can even get started within seconds by going right here.

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Get started now.  Because it’s YOUR turn!

Ever since I took over for How to Be Irresistible to Women, I’ve wanted to give men around the world something great.  Something special.  Something they can’t find anywhere else, that gives them everything they could possibly want to know about how to attract beautiful women, all in one place. 

Well, after months and months spent with some of the best pickup gurus out there, researching the best information available, and interacting with some of the most gorgeous women around the world (the best part!), my dynamic interactive audio course is here.  And believe me, it gives a totally new meaning to the word "premium."

Over 5 hours of complete, comprehensive audio lessons designed to take you through the entire process of attraction-building, dating, sexual intimacy, and relationships: from building confidence in who you are, and successful social interaction skills, to the first date, passionate relationships, and beyond. 

It’s your one-stop shop for everything: developing an identity you can be proud of, attracting women no matter where you go, getting more dates and knowing what to do on them, and building the CONFIDENCE and SECURITY in yourself to attract women without even trying!  Because you WILL become that good.

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Just by being a subscriber to the How to Be Irresistible to Women Newsletter Series, you’ll get exclusive information about special discounts and bonuses that we’ll be featuring on a regular basis.  So make sure you sign up to the e-newsletter (sign-up box on the right) if you haven’t already…you might just be selected for a special discount!

I’ll be keeping you up to date with the latest information and news.  

PS–Remember, the website for the new and improved PREMIUM course is here:

http://www.000relationships.com/towomen/

Now it’s YOUR turn!

I still remember getting the call, the call I knew would come but was nonetheless shocked to hear.  My friend, Johnny, after just 10 months of marriage to a girl everyone knew was wrong for him, had gotten divorced.  Instead of becoming a happily-ever-after couple, Johnny and Marissa had joined millions of other Americans and become statistics.  Statistics of the all-too-common divorce.

It’s funny how these short-term marriages and long-term miseries occur.  Usually it begins with a bad case of "Oneitis."

Don’t know the word Oneitis?  Well, surely you know this infectious disease’s symptoms:

• You think you’ve met the girl who’s perfect for you, who you can have a great relationship with and eventually marry
• You ignore the bitchy behavior and abuse that comes from this girl, still believing that she’s "The One"
• You see and know girls who you know would be much better for you, but ignore them because the girl you’re with is better-looking, taller, skinnier–a number of superficial qualities that don’t add up to the love you know you could get elsewhere
• You spend lots and lots of money on this girl, and she never bothers to thank you–or if she does, it’s less than sincere
• Your friends all tell you that this girl isn’t right for you, but you ignore their advice
• Maybe your friends have even fought with this girl, but you defend her even though you know deep-down her behavior is unacceptable
• You spend all your time with this girl, and ignore your friends and family
• You find yourself calling her all the time to see what she’s doing, and who she’s with
• You can’t get this girl out of your head, even when she’s long gone!

If you’ve ever watched the classic film Swingers, then you know what Oneitis is: it’s the character of Mikey!

Unfortunately, a lot of guys become the Mikeys of this world.  And while some men may just go through this with a girl they’re only dating, other guys, like Johnny, take this obsession all the way to marriage.  And that’s when the "disease" becomes deadly.

How do you know when a girl is right for you?  I could write book after book after book about what’s right and what’s wrong, but what it comes down to are ten essential ingredients for lasting success:

• She supports and encourages your goals and interests.  A girl who’s right for you should follow you on your path–not try to re-direct it her own way.  Unfortunately, Johnny’s wife wanted him to do something completely different to the direction he wanted to head, so it was little wonder that their romance fizzled out so quickly.  Guys, if you can’t be open about your feelings, interests, passions and purpose, then you shouldn’t be with the girl.  She should be able to listen and understand, not disregard and sneer.
• You can accept her and her goals and interests.  Just like a woman should support and push you on the path you want to head, so too should you be able to do the same for her.  If she’s into motorcycling and you hate it, or if she wants to travel the world and you just want to stay in one place, then chances are you two aren’t made for each other.  Likewise, you should be able to understand her emotions and concerns–both of you MUST be good, compassionate listeners.
• She loves you for you, not your money and possessions.  So many rich and powerful men have destructive relationships with women.  Why?  Because the woman aren’t marrying these men–they’re marrying their money.  And divorce isn’t cheap, so even when these guys break up with the bloodsuckers, the women still get a hefty chunk of the pie!
• She generally gets along with your family and friends–and doesn’t mind seeing them.  So many guys seem to forget this, watching dumbly as their girlfriend pulls them further and further from their family and friends to have him all for her own.  I’ve got an uncle who blindly allowed himself to end all contact with his family because his wife hated them.  Somehow they’re still married, but is that the kind of woman you want to be with?
• She’s on the same page, spiritually, as you. Spirituality is a big thing for couples–it can unite them like nothing else.  I know so many couples who are happily married because they believe in the same God, the same purpose in life, the same deep feelings about their existence.  Conversely, couples who battle over the questions of life just do not have the same loving romance.  A girl who’s right for you doesn’t necessarily have to believe in the same religious principles and dogmas as you, but if she’s an atheist and you’re a Christian, things may not work out long-term.
• She wants to spend as much time with you as with her own friends and family.  This may seem like an obvious one, but so many guys fawn over girls who only see them on THEIR schedule.  If a girl is really right for you, you shouldn’t have to obsess over her or ask her permission to see her.  You should both WANT to see each other and miss being with one another–that’s a sign that you’re both in love.
• You both share the same feelings for another.  If you know deep in your heart that you want to marry her and spend the rest of your life with her, but she’s non-committal and vague, then you should certainly move on.  A true, loving partner should accept you completely for who you are and what you feel.  On the other hand, if you both feel comfortable sharing feelings with each other, and she accepts the deep things that you reveal to her, then you’ve found a true catch!
• You both make time for each other, even through work and school.  Spending quality time with one another is crucial.  If your girl is always at her job, concentrating on her career, or studying for a degree, and not making an effort to be with you, then it’s time to move on.  True love knows no bounds–including time.  While it’s great to have a girl who’s serious about her career and education, this can also be a relationship-breaker if she takes either too seriously.
• Money and possessions are not as important as love.  This is a simple one: If your girl only talks about possessions and money, if that’s where her true values lie, then you might want to back out of the relationship.  Every girl wants good things in life, but if she really loves you, then how much you make and how much you give her shouldn’t be #1 on her priority list.
• You both are able to put each other ahead of yourselves.  This can be the make or break of a relationship.  If she’s willing to do things for you, sacrifice time with her friends or time at work to be with you and make you meals, then you’ve found yourself a winner.  However, if she’s always cancelling dates, spending more time with her friends than with you, and never gets you any gifts or acts of service, then you’ve found yourself a bitch.  Move on.  When she treats herself more important than you, then you’re heading towards disaster.

In the end, you want a girl who can you be you around, and know that you’re valued by her night and day.  If you’re in a relationship now that you want to be more serious, ask yourself if the woman you’re with fulfills these 10 requirements.  And if you’re looking for love, don’t get too far into it unless you really feel that the girl treats you right.

For all of you in a marriage or just got divorced, I highly recommend you check out this great service I found over the web.  You can get free, high-quality newsletters that will tell you how to handle your marriage, or find a new one, and what kinds of signs to look out for that your relationship is on the rocks.  Check out Save My Marriage Today now.

And remember: There’s a big difference between "The One" who’s right for you…and "The One" who will become your biggest nightmare!

It’s easy for us men to think that women won’t go for us unless we have a special talent.  But as Erika Jong said, "Everyone has talent.  What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads."

It’s true: we all have talents.  Think for a moment about a talent you may have.  It could be anything:  

• You know how to play billiards really well 
• You can speak a foreign language (even if not fluently)
• You know how to fix cars
• You know some magic tricks
• You can do really good impersonations
• You know how to play an instrument
• You’re really good at your job
• You can cook a great plate of lasagna (or any dish, for that matter)

Don’t discount anything.  In my audio series, "The Art of Impressing Women," I detail some great ways to impress women, and one of the most important ways to doing this is to not only have, but DISPLAY, a talent–no matter how marginal it may seem.

One of my favorite "guy" movies is "The Tao of Steve," which shows how Dex, a fat guy with no aspirations, easily gets hot, gorgeous women.  How?  Simply by following the 3 rules of the Tao.  They are:

1. Eliminate your desires.
2. Do something excellent in her presence, thereby proving your sexual worthiness.
3. Retreat, for as Heidegger said, "We pursue that which retreats from us."

Or, to put it more simply:

1. Be desireless
2. Be excellent
3. Be gone

Dex’s talent was that he knew how to cook a really mean lobster dish; thus, he fulfilled the second rule.  He knew one thing, and he did it well.  In the process, he followed the first and third rules of the Tao by not being overly eager to impress the girl and get her phone number, and just after he impressed the girl with his talent, he would be gone.  After cooking for her, he would say, "Well, I gotta get ready for bed."  She would beg him not to go, thus de-powering herself and em-powering Dex.  And he would say, "Well, I guess I could stay a little longer."  And you can guess where it went from there…

So, like Dex, you should aim to be excellent at something, all while "holding the cards" to a woman’s heart.  Does that mean you have to know how to cook gourmet meals or buld your own motorcycles from scratch (a la American Choppers)?  Hell no!  It simply means you have to find within yourself that one talent, that one skill, that separates yourself from the rest of the male pack–and use it to your every advantage.

I’ll give you an example of how to do this.  His name’s Jared, and he’s not the most talented person in the world.  Like Dex, he’s not exactly a man on a mission; he plays lots of video games and watches lots of TV.  Yet somehow he’s never lacking for female companionship.  Why?  Because when he goes out and meets girls, he does something that amazes them: he’s taught himself (proving that great talent does not have to come naturally) some really impressive card tricks.  That’s it.  Jared’s not an athlete, he’s not a gourmet cook, he’s not a guitar player.  He just taught himself how to do some cool magic tricks, and does them so well that girls are naturally attracted to him.  It works!

But does Jared go out of his way to show off his skill?  NO.  Actually, what Jared does is act really easy, really casual, ask the girl lots of questions about herself (first rule of the Tao: be desireless), then wait til there’s a pause in the conversation to ask, "Hey, you wanna see something cool?"  The girl will say yes, and he’ll tease her: "Oh, too bad.  You’ll have to wait til later."  This is what I call "curiosity building," and it’s a proven girl getter.  Stimulate her curiosity, hold her at bay, and she’ll not only become more curious in your talent, but more interested in you. 

So Jared will string the girl along for a while, then say, "Fine! Fine!  I’ll show you the stupid trick," with a grin.  This changes the game so that the girl has become the chaser, Jared the chased, and he is able to "placate" her with his trick. 

What Jared does, in essence, is follow the first rule of the Tao to the T: he acts truly desireless.  He turns the tables on girls so that THEY seem like the ones filled with desire, not him.  In making them more desirous than him, he becomes more empowered and, of course, more attractive.  It’s truly brilliant stuff.

On top of that, once Jared has impressed the girl, he makes sure to follow the third rule: RETREAT.  He strings along the girl for so long that she can’t help but be attracted to him.  And just when she’s realized that she’s met a really great, talented guy, he says, "I have to go," or, "Hey, my buddies are waiting for me."  By doing this, he ensures that the girl needs him, more than he needs her.  In the process, she’ll give him her phone number and ask him for a date, in a desperate attempt to see him again.  He expertly becomes the pursued, not the pursuer–now that’s a magic trick!

This is all part of the art of impressing women, an art that takes time to master but once you’ve done it once, the next few times are easy.  Naturally, it does require that you actually show the girl your talent in action, of course; saying you’re a great cook and then not being able to describe what you do accurately, or not be able to cook for her at all, will only make you look foolish and lose the girl quicker than you say, "Gone." 

But now, as a single guy or a guy looking for a new relationship, you have the chance to work on the skills you have, however small they may be, and do something truly magical to impress women.  Look at your time of single status not as a loss, but as an opportunity, to become a truly one-of-a-kind guy.

And once you’ve figured out what your talent or talents is, make the most of them.  Learn how to lead girls along with your talent;like Jared, create opportunities out of them.  If you know how to cook, ask the girl what her favorite plate is.  Say she answers, "Penne a la vodka."  You should respond, "Really?  Wow, that’s cool, because I make a great dish of Penne a la vodka."  She’ll naturally want to see how you make it, so you can answer, "Yeah, it’s too bad I have to be leaving, you won’t get to try it just yet."  Don’t ask her to come over to your house to try your cooking–instead, be desireless and retreat.  Make HER ask to come to your house or apartment to try out your cooking.  That way you’re making HER the desired one, and YOU the empowered one.  And when you "hold the cards," you can get anything you want.  ANYTHING.

It’s all about learning your talents–and knowing how to use your talents.  No less an authority than Benjamin Franklin said, "Hide not your talents.  They for use were made.  What’s a sundial in the shade?"

Ever heard of Chanel?  The monster perfume and cosmetics brand?  Its founder said something fascinating: "In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different."

You don’t create value by being like everyone else, by doing things everyone EXPECTS you to do. 

You become extraordinary by doing things that AREN’T ordinary.  Just ask the guy Marie-Claire Magazine calls "The World’s Greatest Pickup Artist".

The first time I heard of him was when I read Neil Strauss’s The Game.  He sounded like a true character, a man larger than a life, a guy who lived for the spotlight.  And who truly enjoyed the company of women.  I wasn’t sure his stuff could work; it sounded so out there, so crazy, so…unique.

Kind of like the man himself.

Yup, Mystery really is just that.  He’s unusual.  He’s controversial.  And he’s one of a kind.  Remember my lesson on doing the unexpected?  Going against the grain?  Surprising women?  Mystery does all that.  And that, along with so many other reasons, is why HE gets the girls.  He doesn’t do "conventional".  Not even part of his vocabulary.

So is it any wonder girls love him? 

It really does pay to be different.  Look at all the things Mystery does that are counter-intuitive–the opposite of what we men normally do, and women normally expect.  Normally, we men just go up to a girl and start talking.  We don’t project value. 

But not Mystery.  He doesn’t go for normal routines.  He shows girls he’s worth being around by demonstrating his talent, via magic tricks and illusions.  Stuff that most people can’t do…or don’t bother to do.  Most guys think their looks and machismo will get them girls, but most of the times, it doesn’t. 

Mystery isn’t most guys.  What 95% of the guys–the "majority"–don’t do, he does.  So what if it makes him part of the minority?  The minority win!

A lot of guys show their interest in women right away.  They fawn over a hot girl, and stay around way longer than they should.  But Mystery, as always, does the opposite: through his "negs" and Artificial Time Constraints, he limits the amount of interest he shows (even going so far as to tease and ridicule girls) and the limit of time he spends around them.  As this is the opposite of what girls expect, it’s no wonder they themselves fawn over Mystery!

And there’s more: Most of us let our lack of Hollywood looks get to us.  Not Mystery.  He knows he’s not great looking, and celebrates it.  He paints his nails.  Wears platform shoes.  Doesn’t style his hair like all the metro’s out there.  In other words, he does the opposite of what girls expect.  And when you go against what a girl’s brain expects, you literally create chemistry between you–her brain sends out chemicals that are pleasing.  She releases pheromones.  In other words, SHE BECOMES ATTRACTED TO YOU.

All because you were different.  And in being different, you become irreplaceable.  Just like Chanel…and just like Mystery.

Just listen to his students.  For those of you who heard the newsletter interview with my good friend Mechanic, his students will testify to the greatness of Mystery’s patented "Mystery Method" greatness.  The guy teaches you in person, in "the field" (ie, bars and clubs with lots of women), how to approach, converse, and flirt with women.  He’ll get you from the point of first meeting to the point of physical contact, in just 7 hours–sometimes less.  As dubious as this might sound, my friend Mechanic, and so many other guys, have testified to its verity.  It’s completely different than anything else they’ve learned–and that’s why it works.

So what can we get out of this?  There IS hope out there for all of us: the shy, the fearful, the ones who are worried that we’re "not like everyone else".  The guy who will teach you how to get the women you want, isn’t like everyone either.  He’s unconventional.  Unique.  Not the same old, same old.

But then, when has being the same old, same old gotten people like Mystery anywhere? 

There’s nothing worse than being in a slump. 

Or so they say. 

I’ve been there, chances are you’ve been there, and I have a good friend who’s there right now.  It’s affected just about every guy, and is the ultimate discouragement in our pursuit of women…if you let it be.  For all its negative undertones, being in a slump doesn’t have to be the worst thing ever.  There are actually benefits to taking a timeout from girls, and the sooner you see these benefits, the sooner you’ll actually get out of your drought and into the female zone you’re seeking.

The first step out of a slump is to BELIEVE that you’ll get out of the slump.  May be harder than it sounds, but believe me, it’s crucial to adopt that mindset.  The guys who are quickest to get out of a drought are those who don’t throw a pity party for themselves, who don’t flee back to their ex’s in desperation, and who remain focused on the other parts of their life, the parts that will attract women to them in the first place: work, sports, friends, etc.

My friend Sal is in a slump for the first time in a while.  He dated one girl for 5 full years, and now that he finally broke up with her, he doesn’t know what to do.  It’s been about a month, which is a lot shorter time period than a lot of guys I know who have been through the same, and he’s already getting cranky, depressed, and tempted to go back to his girlfriend, despite the fact that he knows she’s not right for him. 

But in situations like his, you have to HOLD YOUR GROUND.  Yeah, it blows being in a slump when it seems like no girl is into you.  It’s frustrating as hell not getting any love or sex for a long stretch.  But you know what?  It’s also rewarding, which brings me to my next Slump Salvation tidbit:

Use the free time you have with no girlfriend or booty call to improve yourself.

Sal doesn’t seem to be doing this.  He’s wasting lots of time going online, searching for girls he miiiiight be able to get a date with (I’m no believer in online dating), and groveling over how he can’t seem to get a girl, even when it seems like she’s interested in him.  He’s giving women power over his life, making it seem like having one is the sole purpose in life, instead of empowering HIMSELF and going on living with a purpose that isn’t women-related.

As I’ve said so many times before, the funny thing about not looking for a girl is that THAT is when you are most likely to get one.  So instead of wasting hours on end looking on MySpace or Lavalife or whatever other dating sites you may use, and beating yourself up for being single, get on with your life!  Show women that you’re a fun guy, a man in control of his own destiny.  The great thing about being single is that you have the time that you wouldn’te when you’re with a girl, to learn new things that generally impress girls: how to cook a great meal, enjoying sports and getting in shape, travelling wherever you want and opening up to new things in life.

A lot of guys stop learning, stop opening themselves up when they’re with a girl.  They become complacent, oversatisfied, content that now that they’ve found a girlfriend or wife, as if they’ve reached the top of the mountain.

Nah.  Doesn’t work that way.  Having a woman is only one piece of the pie.

In fact, when you stop exploring life and committing yourself to new things, that’s when a girl often loses interest.  She sees that her boyfriend or husband has settled down and has become boring.  Things don’t change, when girls often like change and new things.  And often, that’s exactly when a woman leaves a man.

The time you have alone is your time of preparation, of becoming an exciting person.  I, for example, was definitely not ready 10 years ago for the relationships I have been in over the last five years.  I used the time in my teens and early 20’s to build myself up and find out who I was and who I wanted to be.  Since I took the time to find MYSELF, to build up my character and personality, it was no wonder that I was subsequently able to find girls, in return.

If you’re in a drought, don’t think of it as a bad situation–see it as a good one.  You’ve already taken the time to read this column and sort some things out, and that’s an awesome start.  Learn everything you can, do everything you have time to do.  Remember that there’s probably a good reason you’re single right now; perhaps it was meant to be and it’s your chance to learn more about yourself and what it is you really love.  Not every girl is made for every girl–there’s a special girl (or girls) out there just for you, but you have to build up your identity and purpose before you can find her.

Once you get a good understanding of your purpose in life and what you want to do with it, you’ll find that you enjoy things more.  If your goal is to become a successful business owner who travels the world, use your free time now to determine how you’re going to achieve that goal, and go on doing it.  Hunker down to build that business, and use your free time to see the world (you’ll probably meet a girl while travelling).  I guarantee you that once you have a path, an understanding of what your life is about, girls will begin to enter your life.  You’ll be having so much fun doing what moves you, what fills you up, that you won’t even be searching for women.  But as I said before, that’s exactly when they show up.

So remember, believe that you’ll get out of the slump, use the time that the slump affords you with, and you’ll go from bust to boon in no time!

My fiancee suggested I read a book called "Boundaries Before Marriage".  Since all the books she recommends tend to be romance novels or relationship builders, I was immediately skeptical.  I mean, the last book she hyped was a love story taking place in the Gold Rush days.  So just seeing the title of this latest one was enough to make me roll my eyes. 

But believe it or not, it actually has some pretty classy advice that every man should take into heart.  I particularly like the introduction, where it gives seven reasons why dating is actually a good thing for all of us.  Some of the reasons include "Dating gives people the opportunity to learn about themselves, others, and relationships in a safe context", "Dating provides a context to work through issues", and "Dating can heal and repair".  All very valid arguments for us to continue dating, rather than avoiding what is, for many, a very painful experience. 

I mean, yeah, I’ve had some harsh breakups, and girls I wish I could have continued seeing.  There was even a time when *I* didn’t want to date anyone.  But I realized, through reading "Boundaries Before Marriage", that when one views the whole dating thing as a JOURNEY, instead of a collection of regrets and sorrows, everything makes a lot more sense.  I no longer looked at my dating past in terms of memories purely positive and purely negative.  Instead, I suddenly saw it all as an incredible journey, a road full of personal developments, all winding towards the ultimate destination of finding "The One".

When viewed like that, I don’t have a single regret.  There are good times, there are bad times.  But at the end of the dating journey (i.e., marriage), what’s most important is how we’ve changed, how we adapt to the various potholes along the way, to get where we want to go. 

We should view past experiences as an opportunity to develop, a journey into ourselves.  For me, one of the hardest things was "the girl who got away".  I really liked this one Aussie girl I met four years back, and essentially chased her back to Australia.  It didn’t work out, and we completely lost touch.  I COULD just look at the experience in totally negative terms; I mean, this girl I adored didn’t feel the same way about me, and I travelled halfway around the world only to get my heart crushed. 

But wait: there’s a silver lining in this grey cloud.  This was just one step in the road towards being with the girl I was meant for.  I turned out to love Australia, and came back a year later to study at the University of Wollongong.  I made some good friends I still stay in touch with, and also met an Asian girl I liked quite a lot.  I even thought for a time that she was "The One".  I really enjoyed being with Tissa, but at the same time, I felt something pulling me back to New York.  I wasn’t used to being away from "The Big Apple" for so long, and missed it a lot.  When the semester ended, I had a choice to make: make lots of money back in New York, or continue living in Australia, no job at hand, but with a girl I thought I loved. 

In the end, something lured me back to New York.  I just had to get back there.  Naturally, Tissa was heartbroken.  How could I do this to her?  I had promised I loved her!  Viewed in terms of the experience all by itself, it was a pretty bad time.  It didn’t take long for me to wonder if I had actually done the wrong thing. 

But viewed as just another checkpoint in my life’s journey, it was the best thing for both of us.  I got New York out of my system, and while in the Big Apple, met an incredible girl.  A girl who would become my wife.  Not only that, but Tissa grew as a person; it actually turned out that we were quite different to each other, and definitely not made for each other.  Now SHE’S living life to the fullest with someone she cares about.  Funny how life works, isn’t it? 

None of this was obvious at the time, of course; it took time to discover.  Pain is a natural part of life, and sometimes you just can’t avoid it.  But when viewed as part of the bigger picture, there are benefits to our painful experiences: By getting New York out of my system, I had no problem moving to New Zealand to be with my fiancee.  I no longer felt like I had to be in New York, so I wasn’t going to run away again.  And the other girls I was attracted to, have progressed in their life’s journeys, as well.  One of them is happily married.

My journey towards love had some strange detours along the way.  But in the end, the most important thing in the journey that is dating is not to look at where you turned off The Road.  It’s to see how you got back on it.