When it comes to attracting women, sometimes you have to think like a marketer.  You have to consider your "packaging," and the way you present your "product."  That means you have to take the time to think like the "consumers"–women–and know what they want.  Because when it comes to the world of female attraction, the customer is always right!

Remember that before they can get to know the "real" you, women only have visual cues on which to judge your worthiness: your clothes, your height, your demeanor, your status.  We men are just like any other product: we are immediately judged by the packaging.  Whereas evolutionary science suggests that men consider only youth and physical attractiveness to select a mate or sex partner, women need more than that.  Their evolutionary hard-wiring, determined to find the best mate for them and their unborn children, requires them to look a little bit deeper for a worthy husband or sex partner.  This is where we men have to put ourselves in the shoes of our "customers" if we want to sell our "product."

One evolutionary scientist, Dr. David Buss, did a study of over 10,000 people in 37 countries, on six continents, and found that women value men based on three big things: ambition, status, and financial resources.  Similarly, relationship expert, Andrea P. Roberts, suggests that women determine a man’s worthiness based on 3 "T’s", or "takais," a Japanese word that represents good qualities: education level, physical height, and salary level.   Quite a bit deeper than having a nice ass and big breasts, isn’t it?

Okay, some of you may be thinking: Well, I’m not tall, and I’m not rich.  Now what?!?

The good news is, height and wealth are only things that women pre-qualify men on; it’s not the be-all and end-all of attraction.  It’s similar to saying you want a really expensive car…but that doesn’t mean you’d never drive a Honda. As Roberts writes, "even an ordinary man doesn’t have to be exceptionally rich or powerful to make women want him. It’s all a matter of the women’s perspective if he ends up taller, smarter or wealthier than them." 

Got that?  It’s all about perspective: how you market yourself successfully to a woman.  Hey, lots of people know that Apple computers are better than PC’s, but that doesn’t seem to stop Microsoft, does it?  So if you’re short, or of average income, but present your positive traits in the right way, it won’t matter: you’ll become the Windows of the male market!  As Roberts writes, "Think of Napoleon, Mickey Rooney or Groucho; they are humorous, artistic or politically powerful men who wooed women into their beds and, horizontally, the height issue wasn’t a factor. Polite and persuasive persistence is the best trait."

So what we have are five areas that we must appeal to if we want to spark an initial attraction from women.  After that, it’s up to you to show what a great guy you are: let her know you’re special, unique, one of a kind.  That’s what ultimately separates the haves from the have-nots.  Even good-looking, tall guys will strike out if they lack other qualities women look for, such as humor, courage, and love. 

So don your thinking caps, guys: It’s time to think like marketers and adopt the 5 things women immediately look for in men!

1. Ambition

From an evolutionary stand-point, this one makes complete sense.  Think cavemen and cave women in the Stone Age, with some of the weaker cavemen seeking a higher station in the power hierarchy.  Who do you think the cave women went for?  The men who hobbled along meekly in the bottom of the order…or the men who strived for more and sought a higher place in the pack?  Much of a woman’s desire to be with a man who is ambitious and seeks success, is based simply on survival: The more powerful the man, the more likely she’ll survive and live well.  From a logical standpoint, going for a guy who has no ambition means she’s likely to live in poverty and struggle.  Not too appealing, is it?  You can’t really blame females for thinking like this; no one wants to stay at the bottom of the pack living in misery.

So you have to present yourself as a guy who’s not satisfied with his station in life.  This is good for both you and her.  If you’re making $7 an hour at the gas station and are content to stay there, not many women are going to be attracted to you.  But if you’re making $7/hour and working your ass off to become an owner of a gas station, taking business classes at night so you can learn how to run a business: well, suddenly you’re not so bad-looking!  Believe me, women will give men a chance, they want to–as long as they see potential.  If you’re headed somewhere, they’ll deal with the short-term struggles knowing that you’re on a path to greatness.  More importantly, by being ambitious and aiming for more, you’re helping yourself out.  It’s a win-win situation.

2. Status

Again, evolutionary hardwiring makes women naturally attracted to men of high status; it’s very much a comfort and survival issue.  High status=good living for herself and her children.  Fortunately, projecting high status does not have to be difficult; according to Roberts, "Wearing the right clothes, especially nice shoes, can go a long way toward portraying wealth. Taking on the unshaken or unworried attitude of wealthy men can project affluence. Hesitant, irresolute, bland men come across as having lower incomes and being less reliable."  Got that?  You don’t have to be a powerful, articulate man yourself–you just have to project similar qualities.

Some of these qualities include:

* Not putting yourself down.  Without being a braggart, talk positively about your accomplishments, job position, and possessions–even if they’re not much.  If you treat things as a big deal, other people will, too.  Conversely, if you downplay your accomplishments and character, women will, too.  Your attitude is contagious, so remember to paint things in the right light.

* Act confidently around women.  Don’t let women assume a higher status than you.  Show them that YOU are the one with higher status.  You can do this in a number of ways, including not acting impressed by a woman’s beauty or career (say, she’s a model); teasing her about her clothes or makeup; and asking her to buy you a drink.  Chances are she won’t, but just by acting like you deserve it, you raise your status!  She’s not such an untouchable goddess in the end. 

Remember, as well, that women want to EARN a man; they relish the challenge of luring in a winning catch.  So play hard to get: talk to other girls, say you’ve got to be leaving just when things are going well, don’t immediately ask for her phone number.  If you act like a man who can have his pick of women, then chances are, you will!

* Knowing people of high status.  This is a great one.  Get to know the people of power: the club owners, bartenders, maitres’d.  Position yourself as a sociable person who’s in the know.  When a woman sees you getting special treatment and chatting with high-status people, she’ll see right away that you’re someone of importance.  It will also reduce the importance of the other factors, such as height, money, and ambition; immediately you’ve proven yourself valuable.

* Wearing nice clothes.  "When a man is well dressed," writes communications expert, Leil Lowndes, "it signifies his ability to provide for her offspring." You don’t have to be rich and powerful to wear nice clothes.  You just have to show that you’re a man of quality, a man headed towards somewhere who pays attention to dress (something women cna never get enough of).  Formal clothes, such as a suit, convey that you are serious about success; you desire good things.  So just by wearing a nice sports jacket, dress shirt, and slacks, you let a woman know you’re a man with status.  You’re a man who could provide for her and her children.

Colors in clothing and jewelry are vital: Studies show that red, burgundy, and black clothes convey high status.  So get yourself some nice black suits or formal wear, a red shirt, and one of my favorites (and girls’!), a sleek burgundy button-down shirt.  They all convey regality and strength.  In the case of red, you have the added bonus of sexuality, power, and dominance: definitely good qualities to portray!  Go and purchase a nice red polo shirt, or red tie for your suit. 

If you enjoy white clothes–the color of purity and cleanliness–then make sure you work on your TAN.  White clothes against a dark backdrop make you look exotic, sexy, and well-travelled.  You don’t have to be an jet-setting playboy, to look like one!

* Winning body language.  Women judge men by the way they move and position themselves; it’s part of their superior communication skills to know what a man is thinking or feeling based on his body language.  So, position yourself in the right way: don’t slouch, sit upright, gaze at her knowingly, lean into her to initiate intimacy.  I’ve got a great column on body language that will teach you the right ways–and the wrong ways–to project high status.

3. Financial Resources

According to Matthew Fitzgerald, author of "Sex-ploitation," "Studies with college coeds show that when shown photographs of men dressed in high-status uniforms (suits, ties, expensive watches, etc.) and low-status uniforms, these women would be significantly more willing to enter into relationships with the more expensively-attired males regardless of the man’s physical appearance. To a woman, attraction is simple: green is very good-looking."

Okay, so not every guy has money for expensive suits and watches, and materialism may not be part of your game.  However, if you want to impress women, one of the fastest ways is by wearing snazzy clothes, sporting nice shoes (girls LOVE shoes!), and driving an expensive car.  Especially when it comes to designer brands, women are VERY keen at spotting high-quality products.  It’s just part of their nature; with expensive possessions come high status and ambition, and a more comfortable lifestyle.  Again, this all comes from their instinctual drive for survival and prosperity for themselves and their children.  By owning the best, you become the best.  At least on the surface.

For guys who don’t want to live such a shallow existence, never fear.  As Roberts writes, "Remember; money is just an energy that represents some emotion for women. Money is equivalent to affection, and perhaps gives them a sense of freedom, security and power. You can substitute money for feelings. For example, if she likes the freedom she gets from having money, you could ramble around in a motor home on hardly any cash and she’ll be happy."  In the end, it’s comfort that women want, and money can only give so much of that.  I know many women who passed up on pretentious, wealthy men for ones who weren’t rich on possessions but wealthy in love and care. 

Ultimately, if you want true love it’s up to you to find women who share the same goals and values.  If money and status aren’t the most important things in life for you, don’t chase the girls who do prioritize those things.  Don’t go for the shallow, bitchy types who only judge a man by how much he can spend on her.  Read my blog on choice to gain a greater understanding of the importance of choosing only women who fit YOUR purpose,  direction, and values.

4. Educational Level

Knowledge really is power, and on top of that, it’s an aphrodisiac!  Gone are the days when being smart was acquainted with being a nerd; now, knowledge and intelligence are your friends.  It’s the easiest way to money, and the easiest way to success.  So show it off a little.  Let her know your TALENTS, your interests, your areas of special knowledge.  As Roberts writes, "Women are drawn to experts like…Bill Gates and Chris Rock because they’re experts in their industries."  Neither of those guys is particularly good-looking, but they’re good at what they do, and parlay their knowledge into success, which drives women wild.

A guy who’s an expert is one who is clearly successful and of higher status.  At the very least, having a special knowledge means you have the TOOLS for success, and can provide intellectual stimulation for a girl (which, unless she’s a bimbo with an IQ of 70, is quite important for women).   Additionally, just being in school is a great way to show off your knowledge: "If you’re in school, not only are there more women available, but you’ve already demonstrated to them that you’re getting educated. Otherwise, it’s up to you to come across as reliable and credible without making her feel dumb."

5. Physical Aptitude

Physical height alone is an easy way to catch a woman’s attention, but it’s not the only thing.  Again, evolutionary mechanics come into play here.  A man who is tall, strong, and athletic is more likely to fend off threats to the woman and her children.  He is also more likely to have a strong immune system, which will further aid their chances of survival.  So, you can’t blame women too much for valuing these things: in the world of female attraction, it really is a survival of the fittest.  Those who show women they are in shape and healthy are much more likely to survive the dating game!  Ergo, athletes, bouncers, firemen get the girls.

What does this mean for guys who aren’t very fit or tall?  It means, for your benefit, you should get in shape.  Build some muscles (you don’t have to be a bodybuilder to look good), improve your heart-rate, learn how to defend yourself with a martial arts class or boxing.  A guy who women think can protect them and pass on good genes to their children, is an attractive one. 

As for height, it’s all a matter of perspective.  We’ve all seen short guys with tall beautiful women.  Neil Strauss himself, the best of the best pickup artists, is just 5’6" yet gets more beautiful women than we can imagine.  How?  By believing in himself.  By positioning himself as a man of high status.  By not bowing down to women of greater height or beauty.  And by being a guy women know is fun and energetic to be around.  In short, he’s got INNER GAME, and when you have that down, nothing can stop you.  You may even find yourself dating women who are taller than you!

But remember, presenting a man who’s healthy and strong, willing to stand up for himself and the girl in a fight: that’s the kind of guy who women will go for, regardless of height.  Did you know that men with strong immune systems give off pheromone scents that women are instinctually attracted to?  If you pay attention to what you eat and go to the gym on a regular basis, you’re going to build your immune system up, and attract women without even trying!  So do it, and watch the number of dates you get, soar.

In the end, men are like books: women judge them by their covers, so it’s up to us to show them what’s really inside.  Make your cover captivating, and you’ll become a "best-seller" in no time!

It’s a question every guy asks himself, every guy struggles with at some point or another, every guy desperately wants to know the answer to:

WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?

The answer isn’t easy to come by.  There are as many answers as there are types of women: young, old; fat, skinny; talkative, quiet; beautiful…not so beautiful.  They all want different things, different men for their different personalities.  It’s enough to drive a man crazy!  We want to know so badly what it is women desire that Hollywood addressed the age-old question with the movie "What Women Want" (which, I’m embarrassed to say, I enjoyed). 

So, surely…there must be something ALL women want?

That’s the good news: There are certain qualities every woman can appreciate.  And as men, that’s what we need to focus on most.  Not on what we THINK they want, but on what we can KNOW they want.  Maybe we think being 6’5", wealthy, and jacked like a football player is what every woman wants, but (thankfully) it’s not.  Only certain women want that, and the groupies who only want a millionaire athlete on steroids usually aren’t even worth your time. 

It’s better to focus on the girls YOU really want: the girls who make you feel good, and make you a better man.  Empower yourself with a sense of choice, so that you don’t waste your time (and theirs) hitting on girls who don’t fit with your personality and purpose.  The great news is, if you can provide the basic qualities that all women REALLY desire, then getting the girl of your dreams will be easy!

So let’s look at some things we can safely say women want in a man–regardless of his size, regardless of his looks, regardless of his wealth.

1. A demonstrative value.  That is, women want to know that their man is someone other women would want.  They want a certain "gotta have" quality about their man.  This is why, when we go out with a girlfriend, women give us looks and always seem more interested.  It’s annoying but true: the easiest way to get a girl, is to have one already!

Naturally, that doesn’t mean that you should be hitting on girls when you have a girlfriend.  No way!  But when you are single, it’s important to know how to show value.  I’ve got a great lesson on this in my e-book that will show you everything you need to know: how to make her laugh, how to show a talent, and how to make sure she never leaves you. 

There’s so much to learn, but in short, you want to be a guy girls love to be around, and that other girls want to have!  If you don’t feel like you’re there right now, do your best to be a fun-loving guy who people enjoy being around.  Be quick with a smile, and quick with a joke.  Even a guy who smiles a lot can be someone girls want.  Who doesn’t enjoy being around someone who’s happy, who lifts the mood of the room?

2. A man who needs her…but not too much.  This can greatly value from girl to girl, but basically women DO want to feel appreciated.  They just don’t want to be obsessed over.  Guys, show interest in a woman, and make her feel beautiful and wanted…but don’t slave over her and make her feel like you can’t live without her.  That’s just pathetic, and drives women away.

I wrote a blog on how women want to feel needed.  Check it out now if you want to find out how to show your woman the right amount of love.

3. A feeling of security.  Women want to feel safe with a man.  They want to know that everything’s gonna be all right.  This doesn’t mean you have to be huge and strong, or have millions in the bank.  It just means you have to talk reassuringly to her, look after her safety, and assure her when she needs it that things are going to be OK.

It also means coming to her protection, when she needs it.  If someone is being a jerk to her, stand up for her.  If she’s being threatened, fight for her.  Let her know that you will fight for her, and nothing will get in your way. 

One of the best ways to make her feel confident that you will protect her, of course, is to be…

4. A guy who’s in shape.  Okay, I said that you don’t have to be a professional rugby player to attract women, but that doesn’t mean you should let your body slide!  Part of a woman’s evolutionary mechanism says that a man who is strong will protect her and the children, as well as produce strong children.  Likewise, a man who is weak will produce weak children, and not be able to protect the family as well (if at all)  It may occur subconsciously, but it’s there. 

So show her your value by being a guy who’s well-built, healthy, and athletic.  Join a gym, not just to get women but to improve your health and the way you see yourself.  Join a martial arts class–who doesn’t like a guy who can kick some ass?  You’ll feel better about yourself, making it easier to pick up girls, and her mating drive will only naturally attract her to you. It’s a win-win situation!

5. Someone who’s not boring.  Doesn’t matter how good looking you are…if you bore a woman to tears, she’s not gonna stick around–or even give you a chance, for that matter.  Be someone who smiles.  Someone who’s quick with a laugh.  Someone who doesn’t take life too seriously, who lets loose.  That shows a lot more value than a guy who’s stiff and serious–even if he is good looking or wealthy.  Believe me, there are lots of guys who have money, who have good looks–but are single, because they’re dull and not fun to be around. 

6. Someone who’s good with her friends.  You’ve seen it at bars: girls always look to their friends for their approval.  Get their friends’ approval, and you get the girl’s approval.

Oftentimes it’s actually best to concentrate on getting to know the girl’s group of friends before you spend time talking to her.  If you can make her friends laugh and enjoy your company, getting the girl you want will be a piece of cake!

I really like this piece of advice from Joseph Matthews, aka Thundercat, author of The Art of the Approach, in his free e-newsletter: "Meeting women when they are with their friends is WAY easier than waiting for when they are alone!  This is because women with friends feel safe and relaxed, so their defenses aren’t up."

Furthermore, he warns that you’re not doing your chances any favors by waiting til she’s alone: "If you wait until she’s by herself to meet her, you’re walking into a situation where she’s going to be WAY more defensive than usual."  So learn to be sociable, and just have fun with her friends!  If you can make them enjoy your company, getting your "target’s" approval will be a piece of cake.

This is also where it’s good to go with girls in the same social network as you…you already have the approval of mutual friends.  The book, Sex in America, says that 60% of married couples meet through friends, work, or mutual activities.  For more information on using networking to your benefit, click here. 

Finally, the trait all women REALLY want: 7. A man with a purpose.  Believe me, women don’t expect every guy they meet to be worth hundreds of millions of dollars, have more power than the mayor, and be more handsome than Brad Pitt.  They don’t expect you to be wildly successful.  But they DO want you to be headed towards success.  They DO want you to have direction.  They DO want you to be living up to your potential.  And those aren’t bad expectations to have!  Remember, "Behind every great man is a great woman."  You may not be at the top just yet, but as long as you’re heading there, with goals in life, you’re bound to attract women.  And more importantly, reach your own personal success.

I highly suggest you read "The Way of the Superior Man," by David Deida.  It details the importance of having a life purpose, both for you and for your girlfriend or wife.  The book also explains the very important idea that if someone doesn’t fit into your purpose, or detracts you from it, then she isn’t worth your time.  As I said above, don’t just go for any old girl: go for the ones who fit YOU, and who make YOU a better person.  That’s what we men should really want!

I hope all of this advice helps you out as you seek to improve yourself and attract the women who matter to you.  Remember that it isn’t important to know what the bimbo who wants to spend all your money wants: it’s important to know what women who want to be with you want.  Empower yourself by being choosy, and you’ll be sure to attract the woman who’s right for you. 

Finally, for more information on attracting the specific women you really want, check out my e-book and audio series.  Thanks for reading!

In my previous post I talked about how girls are more inclined to give off, and notice, body signals than guys, and are ALWAYS looking for signs from us guys, as well.  Since then a lot of guys have been asking me what we men should do for body language, so this column will give you the answers.

You have to remember that whatever you say, however you gesture your hands, arms, head, and eyes, women are NOT taking your movements at face value.  If she jokes with you and you lightly push her away as if to say "Stop", she’s taking that simple gesture as something more: interest, dis-interest, enjoyment, annoyance–any of a million different signals.  She’s reading it for further suggestions as to what kind of guy you are, and what your interest in her is.  Know that with body language, girls are always reading the way you move and act!

Here are my "Lucky Seven" best ways to show interest:

1. The confident eye gaze
2. The "Dale Head Drop"
3. Smile!
4. Open body language
5. Lean in to her
6. Thumbs in belt
7. Touch her

Let’s look at each in more detail:

1.  The confident eye gaze

This is how you start your interest.  Nothing shows confidence off the bat like meeting a girl’s eyes, and KEEPING  YOUR STARE.  If you see her look down and smile, you know you’ve made it and the time to approach is now.  If she looks away from you but doesn’t smile, give her a shot nonetheless; just the fact that she met your eyes for a second or two shows interest.

2.  The Dale Head Drop

So named after the guy who mastered the art of getting women rushing to his side, just with a simple shrug!  If you really want to blow away a girl–and show some balls–meet a girl’s eyes, then knowingly drop your head to the side, as if to say, "Hey, you know you want me.  Come over here and get me!"  I’ve found this to work incredibly well in foreign countries.  In the States, the girls tend to be able to see through it a bit more–but it still works!

3.  Smile!

It’s often overlooked, but nothing communicates happiness, confidence, and interest in a girl all in one like a nice big smile.  Show the girl you’re in control, show her you’re confident, show her you’re a fun guy to be around: brighten the place up with a big smile!  And if your teeth need work, then get them fixed!  It’s good not just for your chances of meeting a girl, but also for your health and appearance!

4.  Open Body Language

So many guys walk or sit with their arms crossed, their legs close together, and their faces anxious and flat.  Stop that!  Welcome a girl into your world: Have your arms open and leaned back, your legs open and relaxed, your face warm and inviting.  You’ll not only attract yourself into a girl’s world, but also into the world of people at a party, club, or bar who can help you meet a future girlfriend–or even wife!

5.  Lean in to her

As you’re talking to a girl, especially while seated, show her your interest with confidence by leaning in closer.  You don’t want to be a creep, of course, but you can generally tell by a girl’s body language and talk how interested she is in you.  If things are looking good, show her your control of the situation–and interest in her–by leaning in and generally getting closer to her.  Leaning back does the opposite; it shows you’re unconfident and not overly interested.  Not what you want to communicate.

6.  Thumbs in belt

Ever put your thumbs in your belt, with your hands at your hips’ side?  This is processed as a sign of being confident in one’s sexuality and size.  So if you’re standing around at a bar or club and want to convey confidence, this will certainly be understood by girls! 

7.  Touch her!

Yup, nothing gets you closer to a girl than physical touch.  Great conversations and emotional/spiritual chemistry are great, but if you really want to take it to the next level, you’ll have to eventually show some balls and touch her.  I’m not talking about grabbing her and making out (unless it really is going that well and she’s flirting out of control!), but doing little things: brushing your arm by her shoulders, lightly massaging her, leading her by the arm to another location in the place.  By making a physical connection, you’re giving her a sign loud and clear that you’re confident in yourself and interested in her. 

No one can deny that body language plays an important role in catching girls’ attention–and noticing it.  A lot of attention has been paid to how we men can flirt better with women, but don’t forget knowing when THEY are flirting at US.  So many times we miss out on a potential mate because we don’t notice that’s she interested in us.  With that said, here are some common body language cues women give off.  Keep your eyes open–and your body ready.

BAD BODY LANGUAGE

1. Not making eye contact with you—looking around, eyeing her friends, looking anywhere but at you

2. Legs crossed—always a bad sign.  This means she’s closing herself off to you

3. Arms crossed—This can convey annoyance and impatience.  Definitely a bad sign.

4. Hands on her hips—This can also convey impatience.  Not looking good.

5. Leaning backwards—It’s much better when a woman is leaning towards you.  If you notice her leaning away from you, keeping her distance, it means you’ve gotten too close for her comfort and she’s not that into you, at least at this point.

6. A weak handshake—Do you shake a girl’s hands when you meet her?  If you do and notice that hers is weak and she is quick to take back her hand, then she’s not very impressed.

GOOD BODY LANGUAGE

1. She looks down when you see her and smiles–A very good sign.  She’s shy but wants you to come over to talk to her.

2. She’s twirling her hair around–Definitely into you.

3. Licks her lips–unless you can tell she’s screwing with you, this is a very good sign!

4. Open legs–Open legs, open mind.  She’s open to hearing more from you–and who knows what else.

5. Sideways glance–The classic Hollywood flirtation, this is a coy, seductive way of showing her interest

6. Fondling a cylindrical object (cigarette, glass, etc.)–VERY good sign!  And a hint of what she may have in mind for later on in the evening…

7. Fondling her shoe (shoe is slight off her foot, twisting her foot in circles)–This is that classic shy signal that girls use to display interest.

8. The "leg twine"–one leg pressed hard against the other to give the appearance of high muscle tone–very good sign

9. The head toss–If she tosses her hair back over her shoulders, this is definitely a good gesture.

10. Exposed wrists–If she’s interested in you, she will gradually display the smooth, soft skin of her wrists to a guy she’s interested in.  Wrists are actually considered one of the more erotic areas of the body–so if she’s showing you this sexual area–go for it!

Hopefully you can put some of these lessons to use right away.  Good luck, and stay tuned for Part 2, when I’ll show you how to send off some body language signals of your own to women you’re interested in. 

If you want to show true love, sometimes it pays to be needy.

Not in the high-maintenance, I’ll-kill-myself-if-you-leave-me kind of way.  I’m talking about making your girlfriend feel like she completes you, that she’s everything you’ve always been looking for.  I’m talking about giving a girl the knowledge that she’s special, incredible, Numero Uno in your life.  Sometimes, the greatest gift you can give your lover is to tell her you NEED her.

I learned this the hard way with my girlfriend.  I bought her lots of presents, surprised her with nice gifts.  But it wasn’t enough; she told me she wasn’t sure I really loved her.  So I took her out to eat, wrote her nice poems and cards.  She appreciated that, but was still not sure she meant everything in my life.  Presents and nice meals were nice, but what she wanted more than anything was to feel appreciated, to feel wanted, to feel NEEDED.  You can’t put a price tag on that sort of feeling, but I can tell you it’s worth more than any expensive gift. 

More than anything, my girlfriend wanted to hear the words, "I need you."

Of course, it’s not always easy to say those words.  We fear that we’ll appear too needy, too emotional.  You’ll know based on your girlfriend just how much she needs to be needed; for some girls, their "love language" isn’t so much words of appreciation as gifts or acts or service. 

But EVERY girl likes to be appreciated.  It’s like Chris Rock says: "There are only three things women need in life: food, money, and COMPLIMENTS!"  So sometimes you just have to compliment your girl and let her know that you appreciate her.  You can say, "I don’t know what I’d do without you," "I’m so glad you came into my life", and just explain how different your life would be without her.  It may sound like gushy romantic stuff–and sometimes it is–but believe me, you’ll be amazed by the difference in your girlfriend when she feels valued.

Ever notice how your girl (or wife) acts moody for no reason, snappy for who knows why?  A lot of times it’s because she doesn’t feel appreciated.  She feels like she could leave your life, and you wouldn’t even notice.  So she acts bitchy and moody, and you can’t stand it. 

But when you let her know you NEED her, let her know you WANT her in your life, you’ll be amazed by how much happier and giving she is.  As I always say, you get what you give.  If you’re not giving her the love and attention she needs, you’re not going to get it in return. 

Guys who keep their girls feeling loved, who let them know that they are the most important thing in their lives, don’t have as many problems with their women.  They have girls buying them things, doing them favors, showing them love like never before.  It’s great, and proves one thing:

It’s good to be needy.

You know that Coca-Cola slogan, "Always the real thing"?  It doesn’t just apply to soft drinks.  It also applies to relationships. No matter how many dating seminars you attend, how many books you read, or how many seduction services you subscribe to, none of the lessons are gonna matter if they don’t fit with YOUR personality. 

In his interview with dating guru DeAngelo, relationship expert Carlos Xuma says, "I feel like an idiot if I’m just reciting somebody’s regurgitated lines.  I have to make it personal to me."  I think a lot of guys can relate to that. 

So you have to make your approach, your style, personal to you.  But you also have to make it personal to a woman.  Xuma makes the excellent point that if you use standard, recycled lines on a woman, you make HER feel standard and recycled, as well!  It’s as if she’s a carbon copy of every other woman who’s been branded with the cow-poke of pick-up lines.

Treat her specially, like someone unique, and she’ll treat YOU as someone special and unique, as well.

But how can you expect her to respect you, if you disrespect her by treating her like all the other woman out there?  There’s the failure of overused pick-up lines: They’re not original.  And they’re usually not part of who YOU are. 

As Xuma points out, in deciding how to approach girls, sometimes the best "style" is actually no style.  Don’t do what works for other guys; do what works for you.  I hope that the methods I teach in "How to Be Irresistible to Women" will work for you.  In fact, I’m confident they will.  But if they don’t fit your personality, then don’t use them!  Instead of prescribing to just one method–or worse, to ALL of them–try to use pieces of each of them, until you’re totally prepared for anything.  It’s nice to have a Plan A, but having a back-up Plan B, C, D, and E is even better!

Xuma suggests being like Bruce Lee, who didn’t just one martial art style for himself, but a collection of various ones.  In the end, when he became a star, Lee didn’t practice just one style; he practiced so many, that he didn’t really have any one style.  He just did what fit him.

So it should be for you.  You should be the Bruce Lee of relationships!  And, just like Coca-Cola: "Always the real thing."