"Dating Confidence"
Part III: Women

December 23rd, 2024
From James:

What's up? Thanks for joining me. Today is the final part of our series on Dating Confidence, and for this newsletter we've got a special treat. Slade has invited his female colleague Mirabelle Summers to contribute ... to give us the inside dish on what it takes to be confident with women!

Slade and Mirabelle prove that the best things come in pairs, because their philosophy at Meet Your Sweet is that it takes a WOMAN to really get inside a woman's mind, and a MAN to get what it's really like to be a man. WIth both a male and female perspective brought to bear on each issue, you get the advantage of the WHOLE picture with insider secrets into the opposite sex.

So get ready to get confident with the folks from Meet Your Sweet!

Get Confident with Women

by Guest Writer Mirabelle Summers with Slade Shaw
© 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

Let's face it. One of the scariest things about women is the fact that they're female. They're like an alien species to some guys (not naming any names here). And if you didn't grow up in a household full of women - or worse yet if you went to an all-boys school - you may find that the biggest source of your anxiety about dating is not understanding women.

So how do you feel confident around women, when you don't have a clue what makes them tick?

Confidence Tip #1.
"Focus on your similarities, not your differences."

Now, I'm not encouraging you to do a Jack Nicholson here and imagine women by "think[ing] of a man and tak[ing] away reason and accountability" (As Good as It Gets 1997).

But if women are indeed an alien species to you, the long-term answer is to study up on what makes women tick. Check out books like The Female Brain, or Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, or Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps.

But if you don't have time for an entire course in the female brain, here's a quick fix. Realize that we human beings are more similar than we're different. Women, like you, want affection, attention, and praise. Women, like you, are afraid of being rejected, hurt, or alone. By relating to women on terms that you understand, you give women the impression that you truly "get" them at their deepest levels ... which is much more attractive than giving off the impression that women leave you clueless!

Here's an example of how to put this idea into practice.

The next time you see a woman who's stunningly beautiful, don't give into the temptation to think that she's a creature from another planet, without any of the same needs that lesser mortals have. Nothing inherently makes her a superior being to you.

So the moment you're tempted to treat her differently - by putting her on a pedestal or becoming her admiring servant - humanize her by seeing beneath the glossy aloof facade into the vulnerable, hopeful, all-too-human self beneath. See if you can figure out what she's feeling. Is she bored? Is she tired? Is she irritated by something? Is she trying too hard to make people like her?

It's amazing how your perspective will change once you see the human being beneath the beautiful facade. You'll lose your fear of talking to her. You'll understand more intuitively how to relate to her.

So focus on what makes you alike rather than what makes you different. Understand that at the deepest level you are the equal of any woman, with the same human needs for affection, comfort, and intimacy.

Confidence Tip #2:
"Understand that they're playing the game, too."

If you take women at face value, then you're going to be missing an entire level of communication that could give you valuable insights into what's really going on.

When women are in situations where they may be approached by men, they take on a completely different persona. They know that their sexuality gives them an edge, and they also know that being a challenge is more exciting than being easy game. As a result, they act in artificial ways.

So if you think that a woman is aloof because she's a nasty person, or that the reason she's ignoring you is because she doesn't like you, then remember that both sexes play the dating game. She's learned not to appear too keen for fear of driving you off. She's also learned that the moment she gives you any indication that she's into you is the moment she's given away all her power.

Women aren't going to help you by making it easy for you to chat them up or escalate physically. So don't take their behavior personally. Wherever possible, get them out of a game-playing environment like a bar or club and into an environment where they feel relaxed and less defensive. You may find that a woman's personality changes completely when she's not fending off men.

So remember: to a woman, you're just another guy trying to get into her pants until you prove yourself otherwise. So don't get stressed if she's rude to you - it's not you personally she's reacting to, but just your default status as a male.

Confidence Tip #3:
"Imagine that each thought you think is broadcast to the world ."

This is a powerful confidence-buliding technique, because it forces you to be aware of your biggest enemy when it comes to women: your thoughts.

Women excel at reading body language. A woman can often guess what a person is thinking from subtle cues like eye contact, posture, tone, and word choice. If you approach a woman who you think is out of your league, for example, she'll be able to pick up on that and will be less likely to feel attracted to you.

So don't just worry about what you say around women. Pay careful attention to what you think as well. If you're having a conversation with a woman and can't stop thinking about what it would be like to make out with her, then be assured that she is picking up on those vibes.

Very few of us have disciplined-enough minds that we would be able to feel 100% confident if our innermost thoughts were broadcast aloud. But this is exactly the ideal that I'd like you to strive for. You shouldn't have to hide anything you're thinking; you should be okay with what's going on inside your head.

Just to clarify here, I'm not saying that you should censor your thoughts, but you shouldn't be embarrassed of the thoughts you do have. If you find yourself thinking something that you'd be embarrassed to have broadcast to the world, then just change your thought to something else. For example, if you find your attention wandering to what she looks like underneath those clothes, then refocus your attention on the conversation you're having with her and what you think about what she's saying.

Want SUPREME Self-Confidence?

You've got enough to worry about when it comes to meeting, attracting, and hooking up with women. Why should you have to worry about self-confidence?

According to our research, confidence is one of the most important traits that a man must have when it comes to attracting top women. Without confidence, you'll have a tendency to put women on a pedestal and do things to make them like you ... which will have the exact opposite effect!

But there's one annoying thing about confidence... The level of confidence you have in one area of your life is affected by the level of confidence you have in every other area of your life. For example, you may feel superbly confident when it comes to gaming women, but if you don't have an equal level of confidence in your professional life and other social relationships, then your game is going to come across as shallow.

That's why my book Supreme Self-Confidence in Dating, Relationships, & Social Situations dives into all areas of confidence: personal, professional, social and sexual.

I've used my extensive experience counseling clients through a number of confidence crises (including an inability to make decisions, a significant life event that shatters confidence, and sexual confidence issues) to create a roadmap to developing supreme self-confidence in all areas of life.

If you're struggling with achieving the results you want in life - whether it's in your career, in your social life, or in your personal life - then see what Supreme Self-Confidence can do for you.

And because I'm 100% confident that this book will change your life, I'm prepared to give it to you FREE for 7 days. That's right: just go to my website, download it, and I won't bill you for 7 days, giving you ample time to review the book and decide whether it's right for you.

Go get it right now!

MeetYourSweet.com/selfconfidence

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