Want Him to Commit?
Get These Great Relationship Tips!
Welcome to my "How to Be Irresistible to Men" Newsletter Series! If you are looking for the greatest gold-mine of attraction, seduction, dating, and relationship advice for women ever crammed into a newsletter series, then read on! 
Amy Waterman
Host of "How to Be Irresistible to Men"
by Amy Waterman
© 000Relationships.com
You may not know this, but there is a community of men who studies nothing but the art of picking up women. They go by names like Mystery, Style, Thundercat, Tyler Durden, and Badboy. They study neurolinguistic programming, the Alexander technique, psychology, self-help, you name it. They post "field reports" of their conquests on online forums and speak an incomprehensible lingo of IOIs, negs, phase-shifts, AFCs and mPUAs.
Their goal is to break down the act of seducing a woman into easily-replicable steps that any man can follow.
Before you can say, "Ew, that's disgusting!", let me tell you why this is important.
- While you - and tens of thousands of my female newsletter subscribers across the world - are reading a newsletter right now on how to get a man to commit, there are hundreds of thousands of men reading similar newsletters on how to get a woman into bed.
- In general ... while women read dating and relationship books with the goal of finding their Mr. Right for happily-ever-after, men are reading dating books with the goal of avoiding rejection, getting more sex, and being envied for their success with the ladies.
In other words, while women dream of commitment (symbolized by marriage), men dream of success with women (symbolized by getting sex any time they want).
Luckily, these are huge generalizations. The pickup artists represented by "the community" are not representative of the male population as a whole.
In fact, there are lots of good, nice men out there who would like nothing better than to have a long-term girlfriend.
My question to you is: which class of men are you attracting?
Tip 1. Think Twice about a Bad Boy
I know so many women who are attracted to bad boys. They're addicted to the feeling of excitement, danger, and wild abandon that they experience when they're with him. He allows them to throw away their "nice girl" pose and experience the darker sides of their personality without guilt or shame.
I believe that dating a bad boy is a necessary rite of passage. Bad boys teach us to be more comfortable with our "shadow side." They teach us to be more genuine and authentic by showing us that we don't have to fit into society. Learning how to let go and be reckless teaches us to make great leaps of faith and trust what happens. In many cases, bad boys are also fantastic at awakening us to our own sexuality.
Nevertheless, you shouldn't get stuck there. As exhilarating and addictive as a bad boy may be, he is who he is. Trying to change him into a committed partner will only make him into something that you wouldn't find as attractive. (Honestly, would he still be as attractive to you with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence?)
Setting yourself the challenge of taming him may feel thrilling, especially if it feels like you're winning and he's becoming the "better person" you imagined, but ultimately he'll end up resenting you for trying to tame him and break away for good.
A relationship based on sex, alcohol, drugs, or partying is not sustainable. Real life involves work, family, and making a home. The kind of partner you want by your side for the long haul knows the importance of building for the future. He'll grow old with you. He enjoys sex and partying just like the bad boy, but he puts those activities in perspective. He's got more than the present: he's got a future.
And that is the sort of man who understands commitment.
Tip 2. How Did You Meet?
It's a strange thing ... statistics show that you have a much greater chance of eventually marrying your man if:
- You knew each other at least one month before you slept with each other for the first time, and
- You met via your social network, such as school, work, a private party, or church. (Source: Sex in America: A Definitive Survey)
The data are clear: meeting a stranger in a bar or on the street, falling madly, deeply in love, and making it all the way to the altar is normal only in Hollywood fiction.
The reality looks more like "getting to know your partner gradually, as a friend, going slowly and finally having sex and then marrying" (Sex in America pp. 77-78).
In fact, knowing a person for some time before sleeping with him (regardless of whether you are actually dating one another during that time) seems to be essential. Ninety percent of married couples in the survey had known each other at least a month before they slept together for the first time.
Incredible, huh?
And some reasons that we're much more likely to end up marrying someone introduced to us by family, friends, or colleagues (as compared to a stranger we meet in a bar) are:
- This person is more likely to be similar to us in the ways that count (which, according to the study, are religion, education, age), and
- We may be more cautious in moving towards a love affair due to the social repercussions if the affair doesn't work out.
So the slower you move and the better you know someone, the more likely you are to make it all the way to the altar.
Tip 3. Connect on a Spiritual Level
I love asking men how they knew that a woman was going to be their wife. Almost invariably, one of their answers was, "She's my best friend."
Developing a deep friendship with a man is more difficult than developing a sexual relationship.
To create the kind of deep connection that characterizes best friends, you need to feel comfortable talking with one another about just about everything.
For example, it's easy to keep conversation at the shallow level of talking about people you know, what you're going to do next weekend, or what happened during the day.
It takes a little more effort to talk about your emotions, how you feel when he does or says certain things, and what your dreams are.
It takes even more effort to discuss aspects of your childhood that were difficult, your spiritual beliefs and how they impact your life, and personal secrets that you've never told anyone.
But I have had several women tell me, "So how then could he break up with me? He said that he could tell me things he'd never told anyone else!"
You may think that deep conversation is all you need to create a deep connection with a man, but actually it's just part of the picture.
A man can be intimate with you and tell you his secrets, but he may not feel connected to your dreams and see himself going in the same place as you are.
Ultimately, this is the real clincher when it comes to commitment. A man may see you as a woman who deserves to have a loving husband and large family, but be unable to see himself in that role. A man may enjoy his time with you greatly but still believe that he's got some more living to do.
For those cases, I'm going to share with you a trick that several friends have recommended to me. It's simple, easy, and requires no thought at all. It's transformed committed bachelors into men eager for the engagement ring and a family.
What's this method?
They gave these men a book.
That's all.
The book was David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man.
I've talked about this book many times before, because I think it's a crucial read for any woman wanting to understand men at a more spiritual level.
What it says isn't always pleasant from a female point of view, but what it accomplishes for a man is getting him clear about what he wants to create in his lifetime.
You see, most men just muddle through life. They go to school, get a job, and even end up getting married because it seems "like a good thing to do." They avoid being really conscious about what they're choosing. They prefer the bliss of drinking or watching television or playing sports rather than waking up to the possibilities of what their life might mean.
Deida's book encourages men to ask themselves, "What is my purpose?" A man who is clear about his purpose and clear about what he wants to create in his lifetime will also be clear about how a woman fits into it.
Sadly, most men have no clue whether they want to be with you forever. When you pressure him to commit, you're making him feel as anxious as he did in high school at exam time. He knows that the way he answers could mean the difference between a miserable future or a fantastic one, but he has no idea which answer is right for him.
The best thing you can do is encourage him to connect with his purpose in life - or, if he doesn't know what it is, to find it. A man who is aligned with his purpose can truly give a woman what she needs. A man who has no idea what he stands for will never be able to truly commit to a woman, because he hasn't committed to anything else in his life.
And if his life purpose is picking up women ... let me assure you: you deserve better than that.
For more information about the concepts in this newsletter, including Deida's work and how understanding your man's masculine nature can help you create amazing sexual chemistry, check out my Premium Course! "How to Be Irresistible to Men" will teach you to understand your man at his deepest level and connect with him in a way that no other woman can. Learn more by visiting my website today!
All the best in life and love!
Did you enjoy this newsletter? Want more? If you're not signed up yet to my FREE "How to Be Irresistible to Men" newsletter series, you're missing out on more great dating tips and advice just like this one!
By signing up, you'll get access to my 100% free "How to Be Irresistible to Men" 6-Part MiniCourse, a $27 value, filled with amazing insights into how to attract more love into your life. Let me tell you, this course has changed women's lives - just ask these women!
All you have to do to get my newsletters delivered to your inbox every week is sign up below. You'll get my incredible 6-Part MiniCourse on how to attract men for real love just for signing up! And there's no obligation: you can unsubscribe any time, and your email address is safe with us.
P.S. Why not forward this newsletter onto a friend? If you know a woman in your life who might benefit from the tips and advice in my newsletters, spread the word!
If you have a problem in your own love life and have ordered my How to Be Irresistible to Men course, it's time to claim your free personal email consultation! Just fill in the Members Consultation form, and the 000Relationships Team will use their years of counseling and expert advice to give you exactly the tips you need to resolve it once and for all!
If you have not yet ordered How to Be Irresistible to Men, click here to go straight to our order page to get your own copy and become part of the 000Relationships Community, which will give you access to exclusive offers!
To learn more about my Premium Course, which builds on what you are learning here and contains advanced secrets for women who already know a thing or two about dating and relationships, simply go to my website on how to attract men.
Plus, if your interest is not just in improving your relationships - but in improving your entire life, including your career, family relationships, sense of life purpose, and more - then Make Every Man Want You More! is for you. Listen to me and FoxNews.com Love Coach Marie Forleo, author of Make Every Man Want You (Or Make Yours Want You More): How to Be So Damn Irresistible You'll Barely Keep from Dating Yourself!, as we discuss the REAL questions that REAL women have about how to integrate love, dating, and commitment in their complicated, hectic lives. Discover how to make every man want YOU more here.
"How to Be Irresistible to Men" has been teaching women the way to greater success in love (and life!) for seven years. It is part of the 000Relationships Network, the leader in downloadable dating & relationship products.
My customers love the information they get from the "How To Be Irresistible To Men" program, a comprehensive collection of attraction resources that includes my Premium Course (available in e-book, video, and audio formats) + workbook, original e-book + specialized bonus books, video library, audio series, and members-only email consultation. There's so much packed into my Members Area that you'll wonder why you ever considered purchasing anything else!
My Premium Course offers ALL women - single or not - a dynamic and comprehensive toolkit to attract love into their lives and establish strong and supportive relationships. I have thousands of satisfied customers worldwide who have used my course to help them find love and get the relationship they always wanted. Isn't it your turn?
Start attracting men today!
|
