Nervous on Dates?
Get These Great Dating & Relationship Tips!
Welcome to my "How to Be Irresistible to Men" Newsletter Series! If you are looking for the greatest gold-mine of attraction, seduction, dating, and relationship advice for women ever crammed into a newsletter series, then read on! 
Amy Waterman
Host of "How to Be Irresistible to Men"
by Amy Waterman
© 000Relationships.com
Do you get nervous on a first date? If you do, you’re not alone. Janice got so nervous on a first date with a guy that she really liked that the Indian restaurant they went to didn’t agree with her. After just a few bites of the spicy food hit an already upset stomach, she headed straight to the women’s restroom. Though it wasn’t an “Along Came Polly” moment, it was enough to send her straight to a taxi home. Even though he called her a few days later to see how she was, she was too embarrassed to go out with him again.
All of us have horror stories to tell about dates that went awry. Luckily, most of us learn to laugh about it and turn the experience into a funny story.
For others, however, every bad dating experience builds a sense of dread and anxiety until dating in general becomes unbearable. Why go out with a guy when you just KNOW that you’ll do something stupid, say the wrong thing, and make a fool of yourself?
That's exactly what this reader says. She write:
"Amy, your newsletters are awesome, they've helped me so much. But my problem is more in my head. It's like, I know exactly what I should do on a date, that's the easy part, but then when I'm actually with someone I like I get all nervous and tense and talk to fast and basically scare him off. Help me stop my dating jitters!"
-- Marian J.
If you find that you being paralyzed by dating jitters, then this is the article you NEED to read. I’ll give you three powerful tips for getting over shyness, relaxing on a date, and enjoying whatever happens. Best of all, you’ll find that once you master the dating mindset, you’ll not only enjoy dating more – guys will enjoy dating you as well!
Tip 1. Don’t make the date into a big event.
You know what you do before a big event: you agonize for hours over what you are going to wear, you have to get your hair and makeup perfect, and you find yourself running over a checklist frantically before he arrives to make sure you’ve stocked your purse for any contingency.
Don’t.
When you put that much preparation into getting ready for a date, you build up the expectation that the night is going to be spectacular. You’ve put so much effort into it that anything less would be a disappointment.
If, on the other hand, you limit your “date preparation” time to the amount of time, say, that it would take you to get ready for work, your brain gets the message that this is a normal event rather than something special. If the date doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted THAT much energy on it.
And, best of all, when a man sees that you haven’t gone all out for him, he recognizes that he still has a challenge on his hands. He hasn’t earned the right for you to spend hours looking “perfect” for him.
He also gets to see you looking more like yourself rather than some flawless Barbie. Crazy as it may seem, this natural look (up to the same standards you’d have for work) is actually more appealing to many men, because they feel that it makes you more approachable.
Tip 2. Limit the amount of time you spend thinking about a date beforehand.
Anticipation can be delicious, but all too often anticipation turns into anxiety. The longer you have to wait before the anticipated day comes, the more opportunities you have to worry that he’ll change his mind, that something will go wrong, that he’ll never call you again, etc.
That’s why I recommend limiting the amount of time you spend thinking about a date beforehand.
This includes worrying, wondering, and daydreaming. Although daydreaming may feel pleasant, it can often turn the reality into a mere shadow of what was expected.
For example, imagine that you’ve just been invited out by a man you’ve been interested in for a long time. You imagine intimate conversation combined with an exquisite dinner and topped off by a long, slow kiss. So when he picks you up in a battered car and takes you to the wharf for fish and chips, you find that you can’t even enjoy walking barefoot along the sand, as romantic as it is, because you’d imagined something totally different.
Thinking too much about a date beforehand tends to build up expectations that affect your actual date experience.
Tip 3. A date is not a performance: don’t try so hard!
Way too many men and women alike feel performance anxiety before a date. A woman I knew used to review a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts before every date. She wanted to be the perfect balance of lighthearted, mysterious, and flirtatious. Sadly, her dates saw her as desperate, nervous, and high maintenance.
When you’ve got your mind full of exactly how you want to come across – light, witty, flirtatious, mysterious, etc. – you don’t let down your guard enough to be yourself. And if you’re acting artificially, he’ll see right through the act.
Men are many things, but they are not blind. Even though they may not be able to put their finger on it, they’ll sense a false note if you’re trying too hard to be the “perfect” date.
Worst of all, the pressure you put on yourself to say the right things and be a great date translates into nervous tension from his point of view. While you’re working hard to engage in witty conversation and laugh at his jokes and hold your wine glass just so, he’s getting tired just keeping up with you.
Give up the act and focus on being, not doing. In other words, instead of focusing on what you should say next and what you should do next, focus on how you’re feeling right now. Be present. Just be there with him. Allow silences to fall in your conversation. Allow the space for spontaneity. Allow yourself to catch his eye without saying anything. If there’s an awkward moment, notice it but don’t immediately fill the gap with words. Awkwardness is okay.
When you can be in a quiet mental space where you’re not acting overly extroverted, performing, or forcing conversation, you’ll discover that every date holds the possibility of amazing connection. That’s because connection happens in the space between words, in the emptiness of a moment frozen in time.
Let it go and let a date happen.
If you want more advice on overcoming shyness in dating, there's no better place to find it than "How to Be Irresistible to Men." My definitive e-course on attracting men includes "Overcoming Shyness in Dating," a bonus e-book written in response to pleas for help from women and men around the world who find shyness a MAJOR impediment to their dating success.
 If you are frustrated by feeling as if you are freezing up around attractive men, if you wish that you had the confidence to go and talk to men, or if you simply want to have the confidence to talk to groups of people, then help is at hand! You'll learn exactly what shyness is and how to overcome it in a variety of situations. You'll discover techniques for small talk, how to project confidence, how to control nervousness, and how to avoid the mistake that many shy people make.
To get "Overcoming Shyness in Dating," just click here!
Happy dating!
Did you enjoy this newsletter? Want more? If you're not signed up yet to my FREE "How to Be Irresistible to Men" newsletter series, you're missing out on more great dating tips and advice just like this one!
By signing up, you'll get access to my 100% free "How to Be Irresistible to Men" 6-Part MiniCourse, a $27 value, filled with amazing insights into how to attract more love into your life. Let me tell you, this course has changed women's lives - just ask these women!
All you have to do to get my newsletters delivered to your inbox every week is sign up below. You'll get my incredible 6-Part MiniCourse on how to attract men for real love just for signing up! And there's no obligation: you can unsubscribe any time, and your email address is safe with us.
P.S. Why not forward this newsletter onto a friend? If you know a woman in your life who might benefit from the tips and advice in my newsletters, spread the word!
If you have a problem in your own love life and have ordered my How to Be Irresistible to Men course, it's time to claim your free personal email consultation! Just fill in the Members Consultation form, and the 000Relationships Team will use their years of counseling and expert advice to give you exactly the tips you need to resolve it once and for all!
If you have not yet ordered How to Be Irresistible to Men, click here to go straight to our order page to get your own copy and become part of the 000Relationships Community, which will give you access to exclusive offers!
To learn more about my Premium Course, which builds on what you are learning here and contains advanced secrets for women who already know a thing or two about dating and relationships, simply go to my website on how to attract men.
Plus, if your interest is not just in improving your relationships - but in improving your entire life, including your career, family relationships, sense of life purpose, and more - then Make Every Man Want You More! is for you. Listen to me and FoxNews.com Love Coach Marie Forleo, author of Make Every Man Want You (Or Make Yours Want You More): How to Be So Damn Irresistible You'll Barely Keep from Dating Yourself!, as we discuss the REAL questions that REAL women have about how to integrate love, dating, and commitment in their complicated, hectic lives. Discover how to make every man want YOU more here.
"How to Be Irresistible to Men" has been teaching women the way to greater success in love (and life!) for seven years. It is part of the 000Relationships Network, the leader in downloadable dating & relationship products.
My customers love the information they get from the "How To Be Irresistible To Men" program, a comprehensive collection of attraction resources that includes my Premium Course (available in e-book, video, and audio formats) + workbook, original e-book + specialized bonus books, video library, audio series, and members-only email consultation. There's so much packed into my Members Area that you'll wonder why you ever considered purchasing anything else!
My Premium Course offers ALL women - single or not - a dynamic and comprehensive toolkit to attract love into their lives and establish strong and supportive relationships. I have thousands of satisfied customers worldwide who have used my course to help them find love and get the relationship they always wanted. Isn't it your turn?
Start attracting men today!
|
