Is Your Lover Acting Distant? Get These Great Dating & Relationship Tips!
Welcome to my "How to Be Irresistible to Men" Newsletter Series! If you are looking for the greatest gold-mine of attraction, seduction, dating, and relationship advice for women ever crammed into a newsletter series, then read on! 
Amy Waterman
Host of "How to Be Irresistible to Men"
by Amy Waterman
© 000Relationships.com
Has your man been distant lately? Do you feel like you’re losing that sense of connection?
When it comes to relationships, our instincts are usually spot-on. We worry that he’s withdrawing or that something is wrong, but instead of taking action we just think and hope and pray we’re wrong.
About a month into a relationship, you should be able to tell just how much communication and intimacy is normal for your guy. Some men are naturally quieter and more emotionally introverted than others. Other men cycle between intimate period and periods where they need time to themselves.
If you’re in tune with your man, you can usually tell whether his distance is due to natural causes or something having to do with your relationship. And if it has to do with your relationship, I’ll give you some Do’s and Don’ts to restore intimacy again.
Top 3 Reasons Men are Distant
First of all, why do men become distant? Here are the top 3 reasons.
-
Stress.
As John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, points out, men and women deal with stress differently. While women need to talk their problems through and feel reassured, men often wish to withdraw and be alone until they can work through the problem and arrive at a solution for themselves. Gray calls this a man's tendency to “retreat into his cave." So don't be surprised if your man internalizes his worries, concerns and fears. He's not hiding them from you deliberately. He's simply working through them the best way he knows how, and when he's arrived at a solution, he'll be present for you again.
-
Desire for freedom.
David Deida, in his groundbreaking book The Way of the Superior Man, discusses the essence of masculine energy as the search for freedom. A truly masculine man will seek to break free of constraints into freedom, as shown by his fondness for sports, business achievement, abstract thinking, and competition. As a result, even though he desires the feminine energy of love, connection, and being grounded in the world, the masculine man feels more comfortable when he's in hot pursuit of his life's purpose. Deida argues that the feminine energy of a woman is crucial to get men out of their heads and back into their bodies so that they can reconnect with life, love, and the chaos of real life again.
- He's avoiding conflict.
Distancing himself from others helps protect him by announcing his refusal to engage with the situation. If he's feeling that he doesn't know what to say to avoid an argument, or that he can't deal with your chaotic emotions, he will often choose to say nothing at all. For many men, this is their ace-up-the-sleeve. A man knows that there's nothing that will anger his partner more than him clamming up and refusing to talk. Often, he can win an argument by default this way.
What Can I Do?
If your man is distant because of stress or because he's giving in to his masculine drive for freedom, then it will simply be a matter of time before he "wakes up" and reconnects with you again. As John Gray says, men are like rubber bands: they may stretch away from you, but at a certain point they reach their limit and come springing back to you again.
As a woman, you can play an important role in reconnecting your partner to the world again. Men can often get lost in their heads, and it is your sensuality, joy, and liveliness that can reawaken him to the pleasures he's missing.
DON'T...
If your gut feeling is telling you that his distance is not normal, I can promise you one thing: WORRYING about it will do you no good. Your partner will be able to sense that you’re stressed about something, and your fears will make him even edgier.
When women feel concerned about someone they love, they often engage in mothering behaviors. They gaze at their partner with concerned eyes, and they ask how he is with special emphasis in their words. Don't act like his mother. He needs reassurance from you that he can handle the situation --not to feel like a child.
Don’t be circumspect about it or ask him questions to try to draw him out. He’ll be able to sense that you’re trying to get information from him, and it will annoy him. If he doesn't want to talk about it, that's okay. If you get angry, thinking that he's holding back his emotions in an unhealthy way, he'll simply become more stubborn.
Trying to solve his problem for him or offer advice will simply be counterproductive. He doesn't want "help." He will be happiest if he can solve the problem on his own. In fact, one of the best things you can do is ask him to help you with something (even if you can do it yourself). Achieving small tasks will help him feel more confident and able again.
Try not to take it personally. I know that it's hard not to think that every time your man withdraws, it's because of something you said or did. But I can promise you this: your man's emotions are not 100% based on his relationship with you. Events at work, arguments with other people, even the basic feeling that he's not doing what he should be doing can all cause him to withdraw. He needs to have the right to "retreat into his cave" without feeling guilty about it. Your smiling face will be just the sight he wants to see most when he comes out of his cave again.
DO...
Love him as much as possible. There is no time in a man's life when he needs a woman's love more. Your love is not always best expressed in words or deeds, but rather a silent emotional energy that you send him, reconnecting him to what is truly important.
Affirm your trust and belief in him. A man needs to feel competent and successful. In fact, for most men, this is the measure of their manhood. When he can win with you - even if he's failing everywhere else - he'll feel like you're holding him up so that he can keep going. (Please note that men are quite sensitive to false praise as well. Only express sentiments that you geniunely feel, rather than empty words you're uttering for the sake of "being supportive.")
Stay happy and don't put your life on hold for his sake. If he succeeds in making you miserable, you'll only end up in a downward spiral where both of you reinforce one another's negative feelings. If he needs time for himself, let him take it. This is a valuable opportunity for you to do the things you enjoy doing. If you can master this, not only will he pull out of his distant periods more quickly, but you'll also find that you have less reason to resent him.
Keep inviting love, light, and laughter into your house. Even if your man withdraws to his workshop or office, don't keep the rest of the house dark and silent for his sake. When he's ready, he will want to feel the warmth of the sun and lighthearted joy of guests. Energy is contagious, and the more high-energy your home, the more of a chance he'll have to "catch" those feelings of happiness.
Keep a space where he can talk. Something as simple as having dinner together every night with the television off can give him the opportunity to talk to you when he's ready. Don't feel like you have to fill up the silence with idle chatter. As women, it's all too easy for us to carry the conversation all the time. But sometimes all he's waiting for is a moment when YOU'RE quiet and ready to actually hear him
When he does speak up, don't make a big deal out of it. Don't lean forward and focus on him intensely. Don't ask him a whole bunch of questions like an interrogator. Keep it casual and cool. You can even get up and do something else in earshot while making it clear that you're still listening. The most important thing is not to interrupt him or start feeling defensive: your goal is onlly to understand him. Let him take as long as he needs to say everything. Then clarify your understanding of what he's told you, tell him that you appreciate him telling you that, and let the conversation end. Leave your opinion for another day.
Having an emotionally distant partner is one of the biggest challenges to any relationship. Small incidences can build into a pattern of the woman exploding while the man walks out the door. Worst of all, his distance may mean the unthinkable: he simply can't deal with your relationship any more, and he's removing himself emotionally so that it won't hurt when he tells you goodbye.
Knowing how to deal with his emotional distance when you first notice it is the key to keeping your guy close for the long haul. For more information on dealing with emotionally distant guys, as well as "proofing" your relationship against separation and infidelity, visit the video library of my "How to Be Irresistible to Men" premium course. You'll discover a seminar series on "Healthy Relationships" by clinical psychologist Richard Wheeler and an elite success coach. Their wisdom and insight into the nature of relationships shatter your mind and teach you the real ways to build a connection that will last forever.
Get it now by purchasing my "How to Be Irresistible to Men" course!
Until next time!
Did you enjoy this newsletter? Want more? If you're not signed up yet to my FREE "How to Be Irresistible to Men" newsletter series, you're missing out on more great dating tips and advice just like this one!
By signing up, you'll get access to my 100% free "How to Be Irresistible to Men" 6-Part MiniCourse, a $27 value, filled with amazing insights into how to attract more love into your life. Let me tell you, this course has changed women's lives - just ask these women!
All you have to do to get my newsletters delivered to your inbox every week is sign up below. You'll get my incredible 6-Part MiniCourse on how to attract men for real love just for signing up! And there's no obligation: you can unsubscribe any time, and your email address is safe with us.
P.S. Why not forward this newsletter onto a friend? If you know a woman in your life who might benefit from the tips and advice in my newsletters, spread the word!
If you have a problem in your own love life and have ordered my How to Be Irresistible to Men course, it's time to claim your free personal email consultation! Just fill in the Members Consultation form, and the 000Relationships Team will use their years of counseling and expert advice to give you exactly the tips you need to resolve it once and for all!
If you have not yet ordered How to Be Irresistible to Men, click here to go straight to our order page to get your own copy and become part of the 000Relationships Community, which will give you access to exclusive offers!
To learn more about my Premium Course, which builds on what you are learning here and contains advanced secrets for women who already know a thing or two about dating and relationships, simply go to my website on how to attract men.
Plus, if your interest is not just in improving your relationships - but in improving your entire life, including your career, family relationships, sense of life purpose, and more - then Make Every Man Want You More! is for you. Listen to me and FoxNews.com Love Coach Marie Forleo, author of Make Every Man Want You (Or Make Yours Want You More): How to Be So Damn Irresistible You'll Barely Keep from Dating Yourself!, as we discuss the REAL questions that REAL women have about how to integrate love, dating, and commitment in their complicated, hectic lives. Discover how to make every man want YOU more here.
"How to Be Irresistible to Men" has been teaching women the way to greater success in love (and life!) for seven years. It is part of the 000Relationships Network, the leader in downloadable dating & relationship products.
My customers love the information they get from the "How To Be Irresistible To Men" program, a comprehensive collection of attraction resources that includes my Premium Course (available in e-book, video, and audio formats) + workbook, original e-book + specialized bonus books, video library, audio series, and members-only email consultation. There's so much packed into my Members Area that you'll wonder why you ever considered purchasing anything else!
My Premium Course offers ALL women - single or not - a dynamic and comprehensive toolkit to attract love into their lives and establish strong and supportive relationships. I have thousands of satisfied customers worldwide who have used my course to help them find love and get the relationship they always wanted. Isn't it your turn?
Start attracting men today!
|
