Do You Feel You Have to Lose Weight to Be Attractive?

Welcome to my "How to Be Irresistible to Men" Newsletter Series! If you are looking for the greatest gold-mine of attraction, seduction, dating, and relationship advice for women ever crammed into a newsletter series, then read on!

Amy Waterman
Host of "How to Be Irresistible to Men"

Redefining Your Relationship with Your Body

by Amy Waterman
© 000Relationships.com

I have a stack of weight loss books on my desk THIS high. Some have pictures of muscular bodies on the front. Others have pictures of pill bottles, leafy vegetables, and nutritious shakes. Still others boast "Before" and "After" pictures, promising a fabulous transformation from fat to fit.

When it comes to feeling attractive, weight loss is usually the first thing that springs to mind. I can't count the times I've heard: "If only I could lose ten pounds..." "If only I could fit back into those jeans..." "If only I still looked as good as I did in high school...."

I made my peace with my body shape years ago, but today I still research the topic as part of my quest to understand what it means to be attractive to the opposite sex.

Because, you see, one of the promises of losing weight is not just becoming thin as opposed to fat: it's becoming attractive as opposed to unattractive.

The problem isn't the weight...

...It's our relationship with our bodies.

Wanting to lose weight covers up our real desire, which is to be considered attractive.

See Your Body in a New Light

There's no necessary correlation between weight and attractiveness. In cultures where extra bodyfat is seen as a sign of happiness, overweight women exude sensuality and overflow with love. It is the thin women who are sad and unhappy!

There is nothing inextricably linking weight with ugliness ... except in our minds.

If you feel that your weight is the only thing holding you back from meeting men, then I'd like you to take a few moments to look deeper than the reflection you see in the mirror.

Our bodies are much more than physical objects. They're much more than images that we present to the world.

They're what makes us alive.

Every part of your body, from your toenails to the tip of your nose, performs a wondrous and essential function in allowing you to experience and enjoy this world we live in.

If all you can see in the mirror is your cellulite, blotchy skin, and extra weight, then you're seeing a very small part of your body indeed.

What about your senses that allow you to taste, smell, and touch?
What about your muscles that allow you to jump, run, and hug?
What about your organs that allow you to breathe, heal yourself, and even create new life?

Each of us, in simply being alive, has been given such a gift ... and it's one we all too often take for granted.

Are you really taking advantage of the gift of your body? Are you able to enjoy every aspect of being alive?

Or have you made your body into something that's external to the "real you"? Something that you wish you could "do without" or replace with a "better model"?

It's time to start appreciating that your body is YOU. It's the source of your aliveness. It's not simply an object that you have to cinch, sweat, and stuff into place in order to attract men.

What It Takes to Feel More ALIVE

So stop focusing on losing weight and starting focusing on feeling more alive. A woman who is physically radiant and healthy - regardless of her weight - is incredibly attractive to men.

Here are some questions that are actually more important to your attractiveness than your body fat percentage, hip-waist ratio, or BMI.

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then you may be compromising your attractiveness without realizing it.

Think about it. No one EVER says, "She's so pretty when she's stressed out."

Running around like a crazy person, not having any time to socialize, and always feeling like you're at the end of your rope are not qualities that attract romance. They're qualities that scream, "This woman doesn't have time for a relationship!"

But the curse of modern life is that we do get busy, stressed out, frazzled, and have no time whatsoever. Our eyes become bleary from lack of sleep, worry lines etch our foreheads, and our bodies slouch from exhaustion.

Taking time for yourself isn't just important to stay physically healthy: it's important to stay emotionally healthy as well. When you're tired and stressed, you end up snapping at those you love,
glowering when everyone else is smiling, and avoiding social activities that add another layer of pressure to your already-hectic life.

That's why I think it's so important to spend some time asking ourselves how we can feel healthy, vibrant, and alive.

If you truly want to be attractive to men, you have to be attractive to yourself first.You need to start seeing the beauty in your body and your spirit, and loving yourself in the way that men will find irresistible.

Because ultimately, it's not about weight loss.

It's about how you inhabit your body. It's about the vitality you express through your body. It's about vibancy and health and aliveness.

If you're struggling right now to love the body you're in, then I suggest that you give up the endless diets and quests for the perfect body shape.

Instead, start focusing on what makes you feel most alive.

It may be dancing, walking along the beach, or playing with a pet. It may be making music or taking a warm bath or hugging a loved one.

Whatever it is, rest assured that it's when you feel most alive - not thin - that men will feel most attracted to you.

P.S. Get More Energy NOW

If you're serious about your quest to feel fantastic (not just "good enough") all the time, then you're ready to meet Heather Picken.

Heather Picken is a motivational coach, certified personal trainer, nutritionist and metabolic specialist who has made it her goal to help women feel absolutely amazing through her company, "I FEEL Like a Million Bucks!" She believes in empowering women to achieve higher energy levels, a more positive outlook, greater happiness, and greater success in all areas of their lives.

I did an interview with Heather for her weekly podcast back in December 2006 on "The 7 Secrets on Being Irresistible," which you can listen to by clicking here.

For Heather, one of the most important areas that we can make a difference in is our personal health. When we experience stress in our lives, many of us turn to food and unhealthy behaviors like
sleeping too little, drinking too much, and not exercising to get us through.

Yet instead of giving us more energy, those behaviors actually drain our energy and make us feel lethargic, unhappy, and negative about ourselves and our appearance.

That's why Heather designed her 6-Week Ultimate Fat-Burning & Instant Motivational System for Women over 30. It's a weight-loss program containing 6 CDs and a 63-page manual, targeted for women over 30 who want to lose fat and feel great.

She designed the program for this age group because, she says, "I find as women get older they feel they have no control over their bodies." This feeling makes many women feel less confident when it comes to pursuing their other goals, such as having a relationship. Worst of all, those very behaviors that keep us overweight also sap us of energy.

Heather believes that the response that most of us take to weight loss - a diet - actually hurts us more than it helps us. If our goal is to feel fantastic, then we need to make long-term changes to how we take care of our bodies. We need to energize our bodies, not starve them.

Heather explains that her program "is based on my 10 years of experience with working specifically with women to get them results that are PERMANENT. This program is very unique as it is NOT A DIET! It is a system that works to lose fat and inches and will change the way women think and feel about food. "

Learn more by visiting her website.