Taking Your Attraction to the Next Level? Get These Great Dating Tips!
Welcome to my "How to Be Irresistible to Men" Newsletter Series! If you are looking for the greatest gold-mine of attraction, seduction, dating, and relationship advice for women ever crammed into a newsletter series, then read on! 
Amy Waterman
Host of "How to Be Irresistible to Men"
by Amy Waterman
© 000Relationships.com
It's often easy to tell when a man is interested in you: his eyes light up when he sees you, his lips part into an involuntary (and somewhat goofy) smile, he's full of questions to keep the conversation rolling, and he laughs -- a bit too quickly -- at your slightest joke.
What's not so easy to tell is why he's interested in you.
Some experts estimate that the majority of men who express interest in a woman do so purely out of sexual interest. These men will actively pursue the woman as long as there's the possibility that the evening might end in sex, but, if it becomes clear that intimacy is not on the menu, they'll quickly lose interest and drift away. If you're one of those women, you may be left thinking, "What did I do wrong? Was it something I said?"
A man losing interest in you is not the same as him rejecting you. The loss of interest may be due to a variety of factors. The more superficial a man's interest in you, the more easily he will be dissuaded. His loss of interest often says more about the type of man he is than it does about you.
In fact, Greg Behrendt, author of He's Just Not That Into You, tells us that if a man's not asking you out on a date, then he's just not that into you, and you should put him out of your mind. Greg's perspective is that if a man believes you're too good to let get away (which is what we all deserve as women), then he will let you know that he means business by establishing that his romantic intentions from the start.
Why, then, should we even waste a thought on men who've inexplicably lost interest?
It's human nature to analyze the past in hopes of understanding why certain things occurred. When we do this productively, it can lead to insights into ourselves and others. Unfortunately, too many of us focus on the negative instead. We mull over past rejections and conclude that there must be something inherently wrong with us that makes us unable to attract a man.
It's time to stop beating yourself up and time to start taking concrete action! Forget about your assumptions about why you're not attracting men: it's not because you're too old, too out-of-practice, too overweight, or too anything. If you're not able to keep up an attraction past that initial meeting, then usually it's because either (1) you're not compatible anyway and need to move on to someone new, or (2) he's made assumptions about you based on your behavior that may or may not be true.
We sabotage ourselves by what we say or do. Often, the person we are on a date is not who we really are. We act artificially because we're nervous, embarrassed, or trying to be the type of woman we think he wants. Although we may think we're great actors and appearing calm, cool, and confident, an astute man can usually see right through the facade.
So what can you do to ensure that if a man loses interest, it's not because of something regrettable you said or did? Try these great tips on how to ace that initial conversation or first date every time!
The single most common mistake that most of us make in an initial conversation or first date is to allow our nerves to create an uncomfortable tension. If you can't focus on the man in front of you because you're desperately trying to think about what you should say next, or you're trying to shift how you stand so that you look sexy rather than slouchy, then he's going to pick up on your tension and translate that into feeling uncomfortable around you.
Thinking about how nervous you are will only intensify it, so a better solution is to forget about how you're coming across and focus your mental energy on him. You're talking to this man to see if you'd be interested in getting to know him better, so find out more about him! Ask him questions; observe his body language. You'll enjoy the conversation more when you're not worried about what you have to say next or whether what you just said sounded stupid.
One inappropriate response to nervousness is to drink more. Although one or two glasses of wine may make you feel more relaxed, any more will impair your social ability (though you'll be too drunk to notice it). Stay sober and use other means to relax.
Many people find that focusing on their breathing is a fantastic way to clear and calm the mind. Try focusing on the feeling of the air rushing into your lungs, the way your chest expands, and letting the air out in a slow, controlled way.
Another fantastic technique is to imagine that you already know the person in front of you, so that all the awkwardness of strangers is gone. So much of the tension we experience around an attractive man is caused by our fear that he won't like us. What if, in our minds, he already did? All the vibrancy, joy, and warmth of our true personality shine through when we're in the company of our friends. Let it shine on him.
I see so many online daters making this mistake. They become hugely invested in a man that they've met online and build up all sorts of expectations, hopes and dreams before they've even met him in person. It's a hard thing to do, but waiting until you're in an established relationship to get emotionally involved with a man will pay off in the long run.
We all want everyone to like us. It's only natural. But the opinion of a man that you've only seen a few times - no matter how attractive he is - doesn't matter that much. Don't waste precious energy worrying about how you're going to impress him or what he thinks of you. If things don't turn out the way you wanted, accept that it's okay. Enjoy the experience of flirting with a man for its own sake, not for the result it produces.
As you start to care less about the outcome of a flirtatious encounter and more about enjoying yourself no matter what happens, you'll also start to develop that wonderful quality: an irrepressible self-confidence.
When we don't have what we want, we tend to value that one thing above everything else. Someone who's always been poor may think that riches are the key to happiness. Someone who's always been overweight may think that being skinny is the key to the kingdom of joy. Someone who's been single for too long may think that a boyfriend will bring her a future of happily-ever-after.
Remember to keep your hunt for love in perspective. Yes, the experience of romantic love is an essential part of a balanced life, but your home life, career, family and friends, and personal development/hobbies are equally as important. Are you devoting equal time to every aspect of your life, or is your quest for Mr. Right taking you over?
When you have a balanced perspective about where dating fits into your overall life, rejection doesn't seem like such a big deal. A failed relationship becomes a learning experience rather than a major setback. You can laugh at yourself and at your disastrous dating experiences, because you know that your romantic success or lack thereof doesn't define you.
For more information about how to keep a healthy perspective in love, look no further than my How to Be Irresistible to Men PREMIUM Course. I discuss how your belief systems may be affecting your love life more than you could ever imagine. I also discuss how you can remove the blocks that are keeping you from seeing the fantastic available men that are all around you right now.
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It's time for you to take a stand and make a decision to change the direction your life has been going. If you're not happy with your love life, there is a better way. You could wake up tomorrow to a totally new reality ... all it takes is a commitment to trying out what I teach in my Premium Course and seeing if my techniques work for you. If you're ready to move to the next level in dating and relationships, then click here.
All the best in life and love!
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